intercourse

When is it safe to go unprotected?

Hilary asks:

When is safe for a woman to have intercourse without any protection?

Two Guys, Waiting and Wanting

Steve asks:

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for a little over 2 months now and we have yet to have sexual intercourse. We're not like your average 2month couple. We stay together at each others house every night. I've slept with her every night this month, except these two nights. At times, just like these it is very frustrating. I've been sexually active for over 4 years now with around 7 different females. And she is a virgin. So, going from sex at least twice a month with no strings attached to a serious relationship with no sex at all, sometimes makes me want to have a mental breakdown.

How can we make sure he stays erect for intercourse?

Lily asks:

Both me and my boyfriend are virgins so I'm not really sure what is normal. The two times we have tried to have sex he has lost his erection. He is completely turned on before hand, but as soon as the clothes come off and it's time to actually have sex, he loses it. He's coming back into town next week since he's been on vacation so is there anything I can do so that this time so we actually have sex?

What the heck does "sexually active" mean?

April asks:

My boyfriend and I just started getting physical in our relationship. He has fingered me and when I went to the doctors the other day they asked me if I was sexually active. I am still a virgin but I wasn't sure what to say. So if I have been fingered, am I sexually active?

Sex just isn't that great anymore; Am I doing something wrong?

stephlinatay asks:

my partner and i seems to explore new things in our sexual relationship. we are both sexually active and we enjoy making love. however, when we both come together i dont seem to get wet that easily and sometimes he goes soft in between too. there is just not enough chemistry. we try and we really love each other alot. he always needs to lubricate me and its never the case ever. its frustrating him and its stripping away my confidence.

we talked about it and are trying ways but its not working as well. i dont know how else to drive the chemistry. is this even possible?

He likes it rough and I want it gentle: are we hopeless?

Minny asks:

I'm 21 and I have recently started going out with by first proper adult boyfriend - though I'd had sex a few times before, it had never been in a relationship that lasted very long or got very serious. I have really enjoyed getting close to my boyfriend and have looked forward to having a developed sexual relationship. However, as we began to have sex more often, it wasn't slow and careful like it was in the beginning and he started have sex with me in a way that I would consider 'fucking' rather than 'making love'. It's 'fast and hard', as they say. I know that makes me sound very passive, as if I don't contribute to how things happen - which I do if I choose to - but he seems to like it like that and I don't want to completely dominate how we have sex by saying that it must always be slow and gentle. He also has said that he finds it difficult to stay hard if he goes slowly.

For me, there seems to be a contradiction between how affectionate and caring he is with me usually (which he always is) and the way that he has sex with me. He enjoys and takes time over making me orgasm and is very loving. I asked him whether he saw that contradiction between that and the fucking and he said only that as long as it's in a loving relationship, couples can be rough with each other during sex and that it was normal.

How could she become pregnant when I withdraw perfectly?

Sam asks:

My girl friend says shes not had a period for 4 weeks now. She's been pregnant once before and says apart from when she was pregnant then her periods are regular. We have had unprotected sex for about 5 weeks but she climaxes before I ejaculate witch means I never ejaculated inside her (to be on the safe side, soon as we didn't have contraception). Before I see her I always shower and clean "everywhere," so I don't she how she could be pregnant. Even with this information she is still wondering if she is pregnant. Is there any other possible way she could be pregnant?

Two women, two partners, and four folks frustrated with intercourse.

frustrated asks:

My boyfriend and I have been going out for one year and have been sexually active for some time. Usually we have pretty good sex. But lately I've just been getting upset because I can never orgasm through intercourse. I know that's normal for girls but when I ask him to do other things, he usually doesn't want to. I almost always orgasm when he eats me out but he hardly ever does that and if he does it's never long enough. He wants to just move into having sex. I'm starting to feel like it's a chore for me and sex is just a way to get him off and then we're done. But I want to feel pleasure too. I already love him and love being with him sexually but is there a way we can try to make me orgasm through vaginal intercourse? Or is there a way I can make it more comfortable for him to eat me out?

Does a woman do anything on top?

stupid asks:

If the girl is on the top while having sex, does she do anything or does he do the work?

How can vaginas not vary much in size, for real?

Anonymous asks:

I was reading posts and noticed that a lot of them said how sex should be easy if the girl is turned on and relaxed. I have a smaller build and perceive it to be proportional in "all areas". I'm 19. I really enjoy sex and I have been sexually active for two years. However, I have found that no matter how much foreplay my boyfriend and I engage in, sex is difficult to start with and I feel sore during the end and afterwards. My boyfriend has also noticed a large difference in "tightness" between myself and other girls he has been with. We always use a good amount of lubrication and I do feel really relaxed and aroused with him. I don't understand how a guy can have a larger or smaller penis, but yet everything I have read on your site says that women have little to no variation in size. Does this mean that I'm generally the same size as the girls he's been with and that there is something else wrong with me?

So When Are We Really Ready?

M3ggy asks:

Me and my boyfriend have been going out for three months. We are 15 and for the past week we have been talking about having sex. I have thought about it so much. We both really want to, but I am scared because I don’t know how to do it, I don’t want to get pregnant, etc. My friends are telling me to do different things: some say follow your heart; others say I'm being irresponsible and immature. I really feel like I'm ready and I love, care, respect, and trust my boyfriend so much but I feel like I'm being influenced by my friends. I don’t know what to do, help?!

I've been faking, but I just don't want to tell him.

Anonymous asks:

I'm seventeen years old and have been sexually active with my boyfriend for the year that we have been together. I have faked orgasm almost every time we have had intercourse. I have read your site and read the dialogue you have provided on how to come clean about this form of dishonesty. However, I feel that at this point I am not sure the best thing to do is come clean. I would like your thoughts on what sort of dialogue I should be having with my boyfriend concerning different things we can do so that I can achieve orgasm, without hurting his feelings. Do you think it's healthy to not tell him at all and move on towards a healthier relationship?

How do I know my pill is working?

Anonymous asks:

Hi. I've actually never had intercourse before, but my gynecologist suggested that I begin taking birth control pills about 2 months before my wedding date to make sure that everything is on the up and up with them (& that I wouldn't have any adverse reactions to them). So far I've been taking them around the same time (anywhere between 6:00 and 6:45am) for about 5 and a half weeks and I've noticed no real side effects or anything. The first 3 days I had a headache, but that's about it. The wedding is in 24 days. How do I know that these birth control pills are actually working inside of me? I guess I'm kinda nervous, and was wondering if there are any for sure ways to tell that the pills are running their course? Thank you.

How do I make my erection last longer for intercourse?

funkykingston asks:

Hi guys: I'm a 15 year old male, not in a relationship, and really doubt I'll be having intercourse any time soon. However, given that I have the time, commitment and attitude for it I thought it might be a good idea to train myself to last longer for intercourse, so that when the time does come I feel, y'no, good about myself.

I've been masturbating with varying regularity for a bit less than a year now, so I know myself and my sexual responses. I'd also like to make it clear that I don't: a)feel unconfident and generally scared of intercourse from fear of inadequacy, b)have unrealistic ideas about what is 'normal' from pornography, or c)think that intercourse is the only 'real' sex, and that how long you can last is a measure of how good or 'manly' you are.

This said, I also know that improved ejaculatory control would be useful in the future to improve the amount of pleasure me and my future partners get out of intercourse, and starting now would likely be more effective. I try to masturbate with a relaxed attitude, and not in environments where I'm somehow pushed for time or otherwise stressed. I've read about a lot of techniques online, but given that 'premature ejaculation' is a problem so many people have a lot of anxiety about and there's obviously a huge amount of money to be made in convincing people that you have some miracle cure for their problem, I thought I'd ask you guys at Scarleteen about what sort of things actually work in the real world and what's just fantasy.

Misconception Mayhem: Separating STI Myths from Facts

Is it possible to have more than one STI at a time? When you and your partner both have HIV you don't need to use a condom right? How can you tell someone had an STI? Scarleteen’s taking the time to debunk some of the most common misconceptions surrounding Sexually Transmitted Infections in one handy place.