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I am currently living with my boyfriend (who is considerably older than I am) and he gave me genital herpes. He has supported me through the initial outbreak (which was terrifying, painful, and life-altering), and has continued to comfort and discuss our relationship with me. However, I have become quite depressed and feel that I have discarded my body's purity and feel that if I ever leave this man, I will not be worthy of a regular or healthy relationship.
I want to be married and have children at some point in my life, but feel like I don't deserve that since I was so cavalier and thoughtless when it came to my sexual health. I have been thinking about hurting myself or ending my life (of which I have a history), and have also considered hurting the man who I am beginning to feel deliberately infected me as a means to entrap and emotionally destroy me.
I am 20 years old and alone. I have no familial support and don't feel like I can tell my friends I am infected because they are healthy and may reject me. Any encouragement or advice will be greatly appreciated.
Do coldsores mean that you have Herpes? My friend told me that coldsores were a sign of an STI. I had my first coldsore when I was 9 years old and I was definately not sexually active. I haven't had one since but I am afraid that I might be carrying Herpes. I know lots of people who get coldsores on a regular basis and I just don't understand how all these people could have Herpes. I know that it is very contagious. Does having this mean that you can never have sex? Can you clarify for me? Thanks a bunch!