Thanks so much for such a useful and honest site, it's a big help figuring this stuff out. I am 19 and in my first serious relationship. I seem to have a strong hormonal cycle, my body changes a lot from week to week. I have tried my best to explain this to my boyfriend, but he doesn't understand how things that feel good to me one day might not feel like anything, or hurt me, the next. For instance, he likes to squeeze and massage my breasts - sometimes I love this, but sometimes (usually before my period is due) it hurts so much I have to ask him to stop. Also, I'm usually really wet, but for a week or so after my period sometimes I don't really get wet no matter how turned on I am. He thinks I'm confused about what I like, or that if I say something hurts or I don't get wet it means he's doing something wrong or I'm not actually turned on or enjoying myself even when I am. It frustrates him that he has to ask if something feels good every time we do stuff together. Is there anything I can get him to read that might explain why this happens better than I can or in a way that he'll understand? Also, some women in my family have had problems with combined birth control pills and my doctor says I shouldn't take them, but if I took the mini pill would this stop happening so much?
I'm only 14 and a freshmen and I've only been dating my boyfriend for about two weeks and we have been moving pretty quickly. We have been friends for a really long time and I really like and trust him but I feel like we are moving too quickly. He has already fingered me and I've given him a handjob, and he's been talking about sex. I think I am way too young and I definitely dont feel ready but when we're doing things and I'm really turned on I sometimes actually want to have sex. I am really curious what actual sex is like, and I want to try it. But I know in the long run I will regret it. How do I stop myself from doing something solely based off of my hormones? How do I explain to my boyfriend that I dont want to have sex?
The more young people are told - usually by adults who know from their own experience it's not true -- that sex outside of marriage, outside long-term, monogamous relationships, or with any more than one partner in a lifetime, will always do them terrible, irreparable harm and make them damaged goods forevermore, the more we get questions about oxytocin, one common staple in that messaging. So, around a year ago, I started excavating. It's taken me a while to get this out here: I confess, it's mostly because I was dreadfully bored by it all. I'm not a neurochemistry geek, but a sex geek. Because so much of it wasn't all that relevant to sex, and because this just isn't my area of geekdom, every time I've picked this up what I found most amazing about oxytocin was its ability to miraculously cure my bouts of insomnia by just reading or writing about it.
Anyone who regularly reads Scarleteen knows we don't feel there's one model of relationship, or any right or wrong number of sexual p...Read more...
I'm 16, I get erections very easily. When I make out with girls I get them, or if I massage private areas not meaning her vagina. I notice when we're done that I have ejaculated. I don't even feel this happen. I don't feel super excited it just happens! I try to think about different things but it doesn't work! I hope you can help, thanks.
Later into our relationship my boyfriend and I (both 17) had a lot of disagreements over sex. He rarely was "in the mood" while I was often ready to go. When I talked to my friends, they just said he was gay for not wanting to do anything with me. Could there be some other reason why he doesn't want to do sexual things with me?
In many ways, it's the bane of my existence. Kids are just not part of my plan right now, and as much as I wish it were possible, the technology to shut my ovaries off at will for any length of time has not yet been developed. (Anyone who figures out how to do that will have my eternal gratitude. I might even make them cupcakes, I would be so grateful.) So, seeing as how I'm with a partner of the opposite sex, some sort of pregnancy prevention is required.
When I first became sexually active, condoms by themselves were just fine. I've never had one break or slip off, and for a couple of years there all was well. Until my mother found out. She was fine with the idea of me having sex. The idea of me not being on some sort of hormonal birth control? That, she was not so fine with. Cue major maternal freakout and a trip to the doctor to get me a prescription for the pill. (I should say that this was not forced upon me - I had been thinking at that point that hav...Read more...