My friends are telling me I am still a virgin in their eyes because I have not had anal sex. The idea is scary to me. I do not think I want to do anal sex. They call me a chicken because I have not tried it. Is there any advice you can give me to maybe change my mind and get me through it?

So basically I have this boyfriend who is 2 years older than me. The sex is great and everything is fine. He really is one of the sweetest guys I have ever known. We have been together for months. I went out with his best friend first (who I lost my virginity to). He is perfectly fine with that as it was 2 years ago. Just one minor flaw. I was also under a lot of pressure at the time I lost my virginity and so when he asked me for large amounts of money, I gave in, believing that he loved me. It would not be an understatement to say that he ruined my life. He told EVERYONE at school what happened between us. However, he only told his friend (my boyfriend) about the money.

I am deeply in love with my boyfriend, and everybody is happy for me. When I say he is the most generous, kind guy I really mean it, and my caring friends also agree. But now he has asked me to give him money. Now I appreciate the fact that I am more well-off than him and his friend...but still. He said that if I love him I would give it.

I'm seventeen years old and have been sexually active with my boyfriend for the year that we have been together. I have faked orgasm almost every time we have had intercourse. I have read your site and read the dialogue you have provided on how to come clean about this form of dishonesty. However, I feel that at this point I am not sure the best thing to do is come clean. I would like your thoughts on what sort of dialogue I should be having with my boyfriend concerning different things we can do so that I can achieve orgasm, without hurting his feelings. Do you think it's healthy to not tell him at all and move on towards a healthier relationship?

I'm a 19-year-old (soon to be 20) female virgin. I haven't really had any sexual experience so far, and it doesn't look like I will in the near future. So the question is: is it true that loosing your virginity gets more painful with age? I was told that having first time when you are in your twenties is a lot more painful than when you're a teenager. From what I read about hymen on this site I assume this is wrong, because hymen tends to wear away with time, not get sturdier, but I would like to make sure if it really is just one of those popular myths. What I've also been told is that not having sexual life is somewhat harmful for your health after you reach a certain age. Like, a girl can start having female disorders when she doesn't have regular sexual intercourse in her 20s. I even heard a story about how doctor told a 23-year-old girl to get a lover to get rid of gynecological problems she's been having. This seems more likely to be true. And does it mean that vaginal sex is really essential or is clitoral stimulation, for instance, enough to keep you healthy?

My best friend thinks its safe to have unprotected sex. She's sixteen (and has been for six months) and her boyfriend is fourteen (and will be for another three months). He thinks she's on the pill, so he doesn't ask her that they use a condom. Even though both of them were virgins, she was his first girlfriend while she had been "messing around" with guys as old as thirty four when she was as young as twelve. Her boyfriend is best friends with my boyfriend, and she is my best friend. Neither my beloved or I want to see this happen, but she acts like it's no big deal, and he yells every time we try to ask about it. She tells me I don't know what I'm talking about, since I'm a virgin and so is my boy -- and we intend to stay that way until we're in a truly committed relationship -- and says to just quit bothering her about it. If I didn't know for a fact that my best friend WANTED to have her boyfriends baby -- and soon -- I wouldn't stress nearly as much as I am currently. I don't know what to do, and was wondering if you could give me any advice... anything is helpful, I know she isn't ready for a kid and wish I could find a tactful way to convince her that there is no safe kind of unprotected sex. I've already showed her Scarleteen, and she brushed it off... so I'm out of ideas. Thanks much!

I was forced to have sex a few days ago and I'm worried I could have caught something. I have this itch that feels like it's on the walls of my vagina and I can't scratch it because, obviously, it's internal and I don't wanna make myself bleed. Does any infection have symptoms of an itch like that?

My boyfriend decided to take my virginity by force but can I call it rape? He is my boyfriend, but I didn't think I was ready for sex and he pushed it on me that night with a guilt trip. Please help.

I am 23 years old, and my husband and I have had a few arguments lately, about how he thinks I've been cheating on him. All is because my vagina is loose. We can have sex, say on a Saturday, and not have sex until say Wednesday, and my vagina is still loose. Or it can go for almost a month and I am still loose, barely back to the "tight" feeling. I was never like that before either, this has been happening for almost a year now. I was told that my birth control method (the ortho evra patch) could be causing something, since all of the estrogen it produces. If I changed my birth control, would it help it stop? I am not sure what else to do, I have never cheated on my husband, but if this keeps doing this, he might leave me because of it, and he doesn't believe me because of how I feel, and I can feel a difference when we have sex also. Is there anything I can do, tests or anything? Please let me know, I'm afraid and scared.

My husband and I have sex a lot...well it used to be more before I got pregnant with our daughter. Anyways, he has pushed for anal sex-which hurts so much-and the second time I let him go ahead and do it I was crying so much afterwards that he said he'd never ask again...but he has, and when I say no he pushes. I feel like he's punishing me for having cheated on last year...it's like by hurting me physically he's getting back at me for hurting him emotionally. Is that right? And is there any way I can make anal not hurt so much - lube doesn't help but so much.

Is it masturbation healthy or does it cause some diseases?

My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year and we have been having sex. But when we do the doggystyle (not anal) its painful for me. I feel that like my stomach is hurting, which kinda sucks because my boyfriend likes it a lot but its too painful for me. I try to bear with the pain so I can please him but sometimes its too much. What can I do so it doesn't hurt?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and 9 months. From the very beginning, I made it extremely clear that I was not ready for sex and not going to be for a long time, if not until marriage. He said he respected it, and we agreed not to pressure one another until we were completely comfortable with decisions we had both made as a couple. About 8 months into our relationship, we discussed our sexual boundaries and agreed that we were comfortable with dry humping. Kissing and some fondling was all that we had experienced before. Everything with that was fine, and I began to give him hand jobs about 3 months later, but it was very rare. He had no issues with that either, except for the fact that he wanted to return a similar amount of pleasure to me, but I explained I wasn't ready for that, and he claimed it was fine. In the summer we went to the beach, and it was the first time I'd been around him in that little of clothing, so I was already nervous. He didn't say anything reassuring, but he was all over me the entire time. By the end of the day, I felt used and disrespected since he had tried to pull my bottoms down a little while standing behind me, but I was not expecting it. That turned into our first major fight, and I eventually broke up with him because of it. (continued below)

Hi again: the advice you'd given me before was excellent, thank you so much. After discussing it with my boyfriend I decided not to have sex with him. Which is good because it's all going downhill now.. and if I had lost my virginity to him I'm positive I would feel a lot more cheap than I already do.

I made a deal with him. He would stop drinking, and I would take my pants off for him. Sounds a little off, right? But I didn't think I'd have to till until at last a few more months! It's only been 2! Yesterday some friends and I were discussing how older men like younger women... my boy friend is 6 years older than me. I didn't think it was too wrong at first because I'd known him 3 years and just got together with him 2 months ago. But not all of my friends know, and one said "what would man that old (27) be doing with a girl that young (18)" that's kinda close to my boy friend and I's ages. So it got me thinking "what the hell am I doing?!" and the same day I was going to see my boy friend. I talked to him about it... and he said: "no baby you don't see me not valuing your opinions, I don't think it's wrong, you're much older than your age, I'd never use you" and he always mentions us being together in the future. and he says he 'loves' me. I don't love him. and I haven't said it to him either. But his actions speak louder than his words.

Last night was the worst. We were making out and touching and stuff and to be honest I wasn't exactly feeling it..we'd just had the serious discussion like 3 minutes before! Then he undid my jeans and tried to take them off and I said no and he said "you promised" and said 'yes i did but i didn't think it'd be this soon' and he kept trying and I kept saying no.. then he just.. stopped. he moved away from me and i just sat there not knowing what to say.. he said "u took them off before" and I had, even I don't know why I didn't take them off again. We sat there in silence until I finally got off the bed and got ready to leave. I stood there and he was still laying down and I asked him what's wrong he said nothing, what's wrong with me. I said nothing and it was just silence again! I said I had to go and he said ok come here. I went to him and he hugged me and we started kissing again and he pulled out his thing and had me give him a handjob. I went home, called him, he said he'd call me later. He didn't. not one call not one message, nothing. he hasn't called all day. What a way to make a girl feel cheap ey?

I feel like that was the last straw. He got angry with me because I wouldn't take my pants off? I just don't know what to think. I feel like ending it with him. I was seriously much happier when I was single, and had a whole lot more respect for myself. I've never felt so low about myself, and I just don't know what to do about my situation. Could you please help me out?

So, I got my boyfriend really horny, and I told him we weren't going to have sex anymore today and that I didn't want to be fingered, but he put his hand down my pants anyways. I kept saying no because I didn't want it, but he's stronger than me and ended up fingering me anyways. Afterward, he said he was sorry, but this wasn't the first time, he always does it and he always says but you like it, like that's supposed to make it better. Is this rape or am I in a safe relationship? Because besides when it comes to sex, he's the best boyfriend I've ever had.

My boyfriend likes to have sex with me at least twice a week. During my menstruation is it a problem to have sex? My boyfriend wants to have anal sex but I am afraid of getting hurt. How to do?