guilt

Impurity Culture: Surviving Virginity

Maybe you grew up in purity culture. Even if you didn’t, you’ve probably encountered and have to live with its ideas about virginity. I want to unpack some of those things, and consider what’s true and what isn’t.

Should I feel guilty (for being afraid to say no)?

Anonymous asks:
So im 17 years old and have been dating my boyfriend (he's 18) for just over a year and a half. I will admit we have sex very regularly, about 10 times a week, but the problem is, i dont know how to say no to sex! During our relationship, ive only EVER said no to sex ONCE! And he got so angry and upset about it....

Getting Married When We (May) Want Different Things from Sex

greentea23
asks:
I am 23 and I am getting married this fall. I have never had sex before because I have been waiting for marriage. My fiance is not a virgin. We have different views on the purpose of sex. His goals are intimacy and pleasure. I have a lifelong history of feeling guilty about any kind of physical pleasure and therefore trying to avoid it altogether....

Undoing Sexual Shame

Feeling ashamed about sex or sexuality? Here are some steps to help you get started on turning that around so you can learn to love, not revile, your sexual self.

When you really, really want something, how good are you at respecting limits and boundaries?

You're Not Pregnant. Why Do You Think You Are?

Some people struggle with strong pregnancy fears when there isn't a pregnancy or hasn't even been any real risk of pregnancy. What's that really about, and how can you move forward?

Did abortion make me unable to orgasm?

poonamdeshmukh
asks:
I had to go through an abortion at the age of 18 of a 20 week fetus. I had experienced orgasm just once in my life before the abortion. I have not experienced orgasm after my abortion through any sexual activity or masturbation. Have the abortion made me unorgasmic?...

I survived sexual assault, then got stuck in a relationship I don't feel good about.

antigone68
asks:
I’m a woman in my early twenties and identify as a feminist. Last November I was raped by someone I had previously considered to be a close friend. However, the assault itself isn’t what I am writing about. I’ve read many of Scarleteen’s wonderful articles on sexual assault and I am quite comfortable with the idea that what happened to me isn’t my fault....

I feel dirty and irresponsible because of genital herpes

fairies
asks:
I'm 20 and have been with my partner for about two and a half years. We have a great relationship and are happy together. However, two years ago, when we first started sleeping together, I contracted genital herpes, even though we used condoms. I was a virgin before I slept with him so I knew it had come from him....

He wants to take his anger out on my body: that's not okay, right?

bludragonfly7
asks:
My ex-boyfriend and I are working through a very hard situation where in his perspective I cheated on him so I'm trying to fix things and gain his trust again. There has been a lot of pain and distrust between us lately but we are finally getting to a healthier, better place. However, he said something that really disturbed me the other day and I need someone else's perspective....