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Will I be the only virgin in my circle of friends and family forever?

Anonymous asks:

I am a 19 year old female. And a virgin. The thing is I feel ready to experience sexual intercourse. Not only that, I feel it is a "stepping stone" that will allow me to "grow-up". All of my friends at this point have lost their virginity, including my 16 year old cousin! I feel left behind almost as if they've grown in some grand way that I have yet to experience. It's like everyone else getting their license and you're still riding your bike to school. I have another dilemma that rebukes this problem as well - I'm waiting for the "right guy" to `come along. But the trouble with that is, I don't know who "Mr.Right" is! Sure I've dated and such but they never seem right for me. Will I be the only virgin in my circle of friends and family forever?

In the shadow of my sister.

Laura asks:

I feel like I'm always in my sisters shadow, and it's driving me nuts! I'm really happy the way I am, and I wouldn't change it, but whenever I'm around people I know, and she's there, I'm always second best. When I mean "people I know" it goes down to friends, boys, everyone who we're acquainted with! I know VERY well that I don't need a boy, but it feels nice to have attention sometimes. Maybe it's because me and my sister are very close in everything we do.

My sister also is a very thin individual, and weighs less than me, even if she is older and taller. I sometimes feel some pressure from her and my friends because I am more careful of what I eat. I am very curvy (it's my body type), and the rest of the people I know are very thin. Their constant nagging drives me crazy, and beside them I feel like a big lumbering pig, even if I am the average weight for an adult my height. I am very happy with my weight and body/breast size, but this is really getting annoying. Thanks for listening.

When do I have sex if I want a guy to stick around?

Anonymous asks:

I am 22 and was the kinda girl that always had a boyfriend, all through junior high and high school and moved in with my h.s. sweetheart. I have become single for the last year and truly enjoy it. I rarely engage in intercourse (major STD fears) but do enjoy some PG13 action. I date very often and like to try and keep it all very old fashioned. It's not a rule I've made but I don't kiss on the first date and keep 'em wanting more till at least the 4th date when they finally get a lil makeout. I was casually dating a guy for about a month and felt he was really into me. I wanted to have sex so we did and now he is MIA. My girlfriend said thats what will always happen, they'll stick around til you put out than they peace out. 2 of my guy friends said they like a lil chase but if after a month of hot dates they still don't get any action at all they move on to the next. So when do I put out? To wait or not! I know theres no general rule or cookie cutter answer here but I would like all of your personal opinions. People say just wait til the time is right but c'mon... I'm not 16 and the time is always past due and very right. Thank you for the advice as well as this excellent site! Keep up the good work!

Drunk at a party: how do I find out if someone had sex with me?

Brie asks:

I was at a party and got really drunk that I can't even remember what I was doing that night and all I wanted to to do was fall asleep. But this one guy I knew got in bed with me too and I remember we did some stuff and he tried having sex with me. I can't exactly remember if he did get it in. But I remember that in the process of him trying it was hurting really bad. Is there a way that I can find out if we had intercourse or he did get it in me?

My friend is making terrible choices: how can I help?

Marie asks:

My best friend thinks its safe to have unprotected sex. She's sixteen (and has been for six months) and her boyfriend is fourteen (and will be for another three months). He thinks she's on the pill, so he doesn't ask her that they use a condom. Even though both of them were virgins, she was his first girlfriend while she had been "messing around" with guys as old as thirty four when she was as young as twelve. Her boyfriend is best friends with my boyfriend, and she is my best friend. Neither my beloved or I want to see this happen, but she acts like it's no big deal, and he yells every time we try to ask about it. She tells me I don't know what I'm talking about, since I'm a virgin and so is my boy -- and we intend to stay that way until we're in a truly committed relationship -- and says to just quit bothering her about it. If I didn't know for a fact that my best friend WANTED to have her boyfriends baby -- and soon -- I wouldn't stress nearly as much as I am currently. I don't know what to do, and was wondering if you could give me any advice... anything is helpful, I know she isn't ready for a kid and wish I could find a tactful way to convince her that there is no safe kind of unprotected sex. I've already showed her Scarleteen, and she brushed it off... so I'm out of ideas. Thanks much!

Is it racist to only feel attraction to my own race?

Anonymous asks:

A friend of mine told me I was a racist because I'm not attracted to people who aren't of the same race as me. I don't really know why this is, I'm just not attracted to them. My friends are from many different backgrounds so I don't think that I am a racist. Is it weird to only be attracted to people that are the same race as me?

Was my friend implying I brought my rape on myself?

Jessica asks:

I have been raped on several occasion throughout my youth. I am just now, as a 22-year-old woman dealing with these. My friend recently said to me, "Well since it happened to you once, then you are more susceptible to it happening again." It really offended me to hear this, and I wanted to know if it seems unfair to me to get upset. My whole thought process is, I already blame myself (and I know I shouldn't but what girl doesn't) why would you say something like that implying that I brought this on myself? Is that insensitive of me to feel that way?

I didn't bleed, and now everyone is saying I wasn't really a virgin.

confused asks:

This site is amazing. I've followed many of the articles here and they've helped me alot throughout my questioning days.

But now, I've heard a lot about womens hymens being the maker and/or breaker of their virginity but in my case it wasn't. I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 2 years a few days ago, and I didn't bleed like my friends told me I would. I had the tiniest spot of blood on my panties when I got home that night. My boyfriend is trying to question if I was a virgin or not to begin with, my friends are trying to say I must have had sex before. Now my boyfriend is starting to feel bad because he doesn't feel like he was "big" enough to break my virginity. I don't feel like losing my boyfriend because I might have a stretchier hymen that didn't need to be "popped".

How could I make them all realize this without sounding like a know-it-all pervert ??

My friends are prettier than me, and it's making me miserable.

La Mama asks:

Growing up, me and my friends always dressed the same and acted the same, but as we started getting older, we all developed into beautiful, young independent women. Since then, I have always felt that my friends were prettier than me and got all the attention. Looks-wise, they totally are gorgeous. But it had really taken a toll on my social life, and I don't even leave the house anymore, cause I'm afraid if I go out with them then I'll just be sad again. I'm also afraid that if I ever had a boyfriend that he would develop a crush on my friends because they are so much prettier than me. What should I do?

I got her pregnant, and I just can't deal.

Anonymous asks:

My girlfriend has been acting all shifty around me. I thought she'd gone off me and I started ignoring but then I started to hear rumours that she was pregnant and it was my kid which shocked me cause we're always so careful. I kinda confronted her when she told me it was true I freaked and completely flipped out at her. It was like world war 3, I felt so bad after but I feel like I can't talk to her and shes wants me to be involved but again I don't think I can. I'm finding it really hard to get used to all this stuff and every one around me is treating me like it's all my fault, which I know it is but I don't get why everyone's treating me like this. I guess if I was looking in on all this shit I'd probably judge but I've got so much shit going on after my dad walking out, coping with this is like hell on earth. What can I do? People are saying I'll get used to it but I really don't wanna.

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