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flirting

I'm a Girl, does that Mean I can't Make the First Move?

tay.s asks:

I'm an 18 year old girl and have dated plenty of people. But my family has always been the type that believes guys should pretty much do the pursuing. My mom always says, if a guy wants a girl, he will make it known and he will try to make it happen. If he doesn't, he's not the right guy for you. Because of this, I've always let the guys come to me. My problem is that sometimes I'm interested in a guy and I feel he's interested in me, but it's not always the best situation to engage in a conversation like that. Like today, I was at an event geared towards kids. I was with my son but my mom tagged along. There was a guy running a booth and I was interested and he was definitely flirting but it just wasn't good for a full out conversation. Every time we passed him, he said something to me, even engaged my son and made him laugh, but he never took it a step further and I was convinced he wasn't as interested as I thought and ended up leaving with just a "have a good one". Sometimes I wish I could slip my number or ask him out or something but I never do because of my upbringing. Consequently, I end up thinking about it the rest of the day and often come to the conclusion that he must not have been interested in me like I thought and it kind of bums me out. I'm just not sure what to do about it? Should I stick to the family philosophy or maybe step out my comfort zone and go for it a couple times? Is there any way to feel a little more confident or know a little more clearly whether or not he's really interested?

He Flirts and I Feel Bad, but I Don't Want it to be Over

Lorelli123 asks:

So I'm 14 and me and my bf have gone through loads. We were best friends for three years and have been together for one and a half years. He struggles with bullying at school, so to impress this guy he got pics of two girls on Snapchat. This crushed me because he sent stuff to her like "your tits are perfect" and stuff like that. I found this out four months ago and put him through a lot, then finally forgave him a couple months ago. I know he loves me and I don't want to hear stuff like I should leave him or anything it just upsets me so please don't. It's great and were so in love but it's hard to forget sometimes and it does cause some arguments. I need help on getting over it, and keeping the relationship strong at school with the constant bullying about us and I want to keep my friends at the same time. If you can tell me how to not be bothered with him flirting because he flirts naturally and has friends that are girls more. (We do sexual things but not proper sex, which made me feel self conscious when he got those pictures and that feeling has faded but still effects me).

I'm In the (Friend) Zone

Anonymous asks:

I'm a male high school student and, frankly, also a cliche. I'm the basic "friend" and I really don't want to be that. I have a lot of guy friends and a lot of girl friends, but no girlfriend. This may sound stupid, but I don't want this to be a foreshadowing of the rest of my life to come. I've never really had a girlfriend, and don't get me wrong, my friends are great. Some of the girls I can imagine going out with, but I guess I fear rejection, ruining a friendship, or one leading to another. I also fear of being in the "friend zone" (I know I made a reference to "Just Friends"). It's not as much about sex or anything, just someone to have, to hold, and to love. Love. Geez, I'm 16 and already talking about love. I'm convinced that I was born the age of 26 or something like that. I have these "crushes" (I guess that's the appropriate word) that go on and off with different girls and I'm just so confused of how to approach these situations. I made it a rule for myself not to ask anyone out until I could drive myself, which, in February I'll be able to do. Did I do this to myself? Crap. Anyways, I should wrap this up before I ramble on forever. What should I do?

How Can I Trust Her if I Can't See What She's Doing?

jeff asks:

How do I find out if my girlfriends flirting and talking about other guys? She says she doesn't, she's begging me to trust her but how can I if we are in a long-distance relationship?

My best friend was raped: what can I do for her?

Suze asks:

First off, thank you for this site. It's wonderful. Now, I'm a just-graduated senior, and my best friend went with a big group to Florida for their senior trip. She called me wasted and crying, upset and saying that this guy I'll call E wanted to have sex with her, she told him no, and he did it anyway. His side of the story was that she didn't protest. Sounds like rape, right? But she's known for teasing guys, and people might not believe her. And they liked each other a while back--E never displayed any signs of being likely to take advantage of someone.

I have no idea how to handle this situation because there's so much gray area. How can I help my best friend?

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