family

Beyond the Birds and Bees

An online resource where readers can share stories of how information about sexuality was taught within the family of origin. Looks at the various methods folks have employed from the effective to the funny to the tragic.

Societal and Familial Disapproval of an Age-Disparate Relationship

ccangl asks:

I'm 21 years old and my boyfriend is 52. The age difference does not matter to me or to him but it bothers me that our families do not approve of the relationship. We love each other and even want to get married. Our sex life is great, we are on the same level spiritually and have lot in common. I just need some advice dealing with peoples' reactions to our relationship (family, friends and even strangers!). As far as family goes, his family does not tolerate me, they think I have some kind of conspiracy to hurt him. They think I'm going to use him and break his heart, they cannot believe that I truly love him. My family (especially my mom) is more understanding, he spends time at my house, etc. My biggest concern is that we will not be able to be happy (if we get married) because people disapprove of our relationship. I'm used to people looking at us and wondering if we're a couple or not but it bothers me when they try to make us feel bad by giving us the "look." How can we tell people to get off our backs about our relationship without being rude? Thanks for your help.

About That "Talk" with Your Parents...

Talking with your parents about sex can be really hard – even if your parents are really open and start the conversation themselves rather than you starting it – or even if your parents are totally supportive of your boyfriend or girlfriend and your sexual activities. Here are some tips and helps to make it easier on both of you.

I feel like a hypocrite but I don't want my younger sister to have sex

Shell0523 asks:

Hey, so I'm a nineteen-year-old male who has been sexually active for the past three years. I've been with a few girls (I was only in a "real" relationship with one) since I lost my virginity at sixteen. The thing is that I have a sister who's fifteen and I just found out that she and her seventeen-year-old boyfriend have started having sex. I don't want her to be doing anything like that-at least not until she is living on her own. Am I being a hypocrite, considering I was about her age when I started having sex?

Why do I still feel so guilty?

Erin asks:

I was dating a guy and the whole time I was dating him, he kept wanting to have sex with me. And I told him I wanted to wait for marriage. He said he'd wait for me and never ask me about it again. Well......that didn't happen. Every time we were together he kept asking if I wanted to move to the next level and I said no. Well, he kept doing this for two years, and we broke up a couple times over it. He'd always just apologize and say he wouldn't ask again. But then one day we went fishing together and he brought a blanket (which I thought was sweet....) and a condom. And he asked again.

Navigating sex and sexuality after a long history of abuse and assault

Sara asks:

When I was younger, (think 8 to begin with) my uncle kissed me on the mouth and told me that was the way I was supposed to kiss boys. It catapulted me out of normal 8 year old states of mind and left me obsessing about sex. I masturbated A LOT and had what I thought years later what might have been an orgasm at 11.

I thought that everyone was as sex obsessed as I was, which was probably due to the enormous amounts of media attention paid to having sex, trying to have sex, making yourself sexy enough to have sex, etc. It might also be useful to add that I was way ahead in school, so my peer group were at least 2 years older than I was, meaning that the boys around me were hitting puberty when I started this crazy sexual revolution...

The Road Back From Whatever

Submitted by Heather Corinna on Thu, 08/14/2008 - 17:16.

While out of town this weekend, between two plane trips and a couple late evenings up reading, I started and polished off Elliott Currie's The Road to Whatever: Middle-Class Culture and the Crisis of Adolescence in very short order.


For the Bible Tells Me So

Can the love between two people ever be an abomination? Is the chasm separating gays and lesbians and Christianity too wide to cross? Is the Bible an excuse to hate?

In the shadow of my sister.

Laura asks:

I feel like I'm always in my sisters shadow, and it's driving me nuts! I'm really happy the way I am, and I wouldn't change it, but whenever I'm around people I know, and she's there, I'm always second best. When I mean "people I know" it goes down to friends, boys, everyone who we're acquainted with! I know VERY well that I don't need a boy, but it feels nice to have attention sometimes. Maybe it's because me and my sister are very close in everything we do.

My sister also is a very thin individual, and weighs less than me, even if she is older and taller. I sometimes feel some pressure from her and my friends because I am more careful of what I eat. I am very curvy (it's my body type), and the rest of the people I know are very thin. Their constant nagging drives me crazy, and beside them I feel like a big lumbering pig, even if I am the average weight for an adult my height. I am very happy with my weight and body/breast size, but this is really getting annoying. Thanks for listening.

How do I support someone coming out to me?

Anonymous asks:

How do I best support a family member who has come out to me? The person is 15 years old and says they are bisexual.

Did my stepmother lie to me about my right to birth control?

Audrey asks:

I would appreciate a little light shed on my question, it puzzles me greatly. I asked a good while ago if I could start on Birth Control, and my father actually wouldn't mind, in fact, he supports it. My stepmother, on the other hand, doesn't seem comfortable with it. Despite the obvious discomfort, she said she'd call her doctor and see what she could do. Days later, she told me they won't take anyone under 18. This confused me. I know many teenagers on Birth Control. I hope she's not just saying that, although it wouldn't be the first time she did something rather similar to that. At first I got the feeling that she thought I would change if I was on the pill, like I was invincible and I could never get pregnant, so I can have sex whenever I want. The thing is, I'm not sexually active, I'm a virgin. I often get the feeling she thinks I'm a tramp. I would NEVER think in that fashion. So, my question to you, do you have to be a certain age to consult a doctor about Birth Control? And although I'm only 16, would that be my personal choice to take the pill? Or do they have a say in it until I'm a legal adult?

I might be pregnant, and everyone wants me to do something different.

Gabi asks:

I used to be on BC, but when I found out I was taking it wrong I had to stop. I'm supposed to start it again the Thursday after I get my period... that is if my period comes. This is why I'm here. My boyfriend and I had unprotected sex, and I asked my mom if my period could be late because I'm no longer on BC. She became suspicious and a few days later we talked. I'm 17, by the way. She told me if I am pregnant that I'd have to abort it because I don't have the money or time to support a newborn, not to mention I'm starting college in August. She told me if I want to keep it then I can't live in her house. If I want to keep it, I have to PROVE to her that I am old enough to deal with it. So my question is directed towards abortion. How is an abortion performed, and does it hurt? I'm starting to get a little worried now because my period is late... and I can not (emotionally) handle a Pregnancy Test. I just can't. I told my boyfriend, who is 20, the situation. He's Mexican, and I am white. He freaked out because they're Catholic, and don't believe in abortion and they're all family oriented. He kinda got mad and was like, "you're going to kill my f------ baby." My mom told me he doesn't have a say in this whole situation, so I guess I have another question... how can I help him cope with this? Or is this something he just has to cope with himself? Thanks for reading, hope you can help! (I'm sure you can!!! :])

I'm 17: can I leave school and move in with my boyfriend now?

worried101 asks:

I know this isn't a question about sex, but I don't have anyone else to ask and I cant find the answer anywhere else. My question: I am 17, 67 days away from being 18, and I want to live with my boyfriend instead who is 24. I have a job that I have been at since January, and I have a car that is in my name and my moms name. I am still in high school, but I want to drop out and get my GED. If I get my GED can I leave my mom's house? Is there anything she can legally do to stop me or keep me in her house? Thanks so much for your time.

GLB Info to Give to Parents/Families

Thinking about coming out, but nervous about the reaction of your family?

Parents, Family and Friends of Lesbians and Gays

PFLAG promotes the health and well-being of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender persons, their families and friends through: support, to cope with an adverse society; education, to enlighten an ill-informed public; and advocacy, to end discrimination and to secure equal civil rights. Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays provides opportunity for dialogue about sexual orientation and gender identity, and acts to create a society that is healthy and respectful of human diversity.