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The Cutting Room Floor: On Sexting

With everyone talking about it so much lately, thought I'd reprise the topic with some questions Tracy Clark-Flory of Salon.com asked me about sexting a few months ago, and the whole of my answers. To see her finished piece, you can meander over here.

Q: Where does "sexting" -- or for that matter, taking nude self- portraits or videos that they may or may not share with a significant other, friends or a crush -- fall within teenage sexual development?

I'd lump television in with the 'net and other new media when I say that with the media presence being what it has become, the need or desire to seen -- already a typical part of young adult development as well as human existence -- has become huge. And that's not just about sex, but because sexual development and exploration is also a big part of being a teen, as well as a part of life, period, and something that's still treated as provocative, particularly when in any way public, sex enters into this.

You're asking about teens using t

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I don't want to masturbate or have sex: what's wrong with me?

Anonymous asks:

I am celibate and a virgin. I don't masturbate. I think all forms of sexual activity are ok as long as people say safe and respectful, and this includes masturbation. I was never abused. I was brought up in a very open environment, where my parents never shied away from answering any kind of question about sex and answered very honestly and frankly, and never said anything was "sinful" or "shameful." And when they couldn't answer, both me and my siblings were pointed in the direction of good resources. There are plenty of things that "turn me on." I fantasize if I'm very horny but I wouldn't call that masturbation, and it's never that "graphic" in my head, it just "gets me off." I don't like watching others have sex either, like on tv or movies - I enjoy seeing people kiss or dance much more and think that is actually way more erotic!

MY QUESTION IS THIS: is there something wrong with me?

I think I'm ready...but what will he think of my body or tell his friends?

Anonymous asks:

My boyfriend and I have talked about having sex, and I told him I wasn't ready to commit to something like that, but actually I am. I am just scared of what he'll think of me and my body during sex, also what do guys think of the girl's pubic hair, should I wax it off or wax it into a design? After sex, would the guys tell his friends about it how good I am or how bad I was?

When I'm fingering her, she seems completely unaffected: what's the deal?

Stevenmagee asks:

I have fingered my girlfriend quite a few times now. I can only get one finger up there and she never seems to react, just stands there as if nothing is going on. Am I doing something wrong?

Laugh it up!

Anonymous asks:

I have been thinking about having sex with my boyfriend, and we both have talked and know that we feel ready for it. However, when I think about during the first time; I laugh. I mean not laughing at him; but because of the inexperience of it all, and the adrenaline rush. Of course, I will tell him its not him, but the situation. I don't want to laugh during sex, but it is something that I can't help but so see myself doing. I should suppress laughing, of course. But it is kind of apart of my playful personality, but the last thing I would want to do is offend my boyfriend. Laughing is relaxing right? But still is it bad of me to laugh?

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