Every day, around 20,000 to 30,000 people come to Scarleteen online. We already know some basics about who our users are via backend site logs, Alexa, Google Analytics, the direct ways we engage with users daily and some demographics from years ago. This summer, we created a new demographics survey as part of a potential partnership with a fellow organization, and to get an additional, fresh source of information for ourselves.
Many of users mentioned they'd be curious about the survey results, one reason why we're sharing them with you here. Our supporters and potential supporters also often ask us about who our users are. In addition, we wanted to see these results too, to help us keep doing the best job we can. I'd like to share, then talk about some of the results with that aim.
We decided to limit our survey to 2,000 participants who completed it, a number that was manageable but also statistically significant. So, we cut the survey off once we had that number. We recruited for the survey by posting a link to it on our website, including at our message boards, as well as via our social media networks on Facebook and Twitter. The vast majority of participants came to the survey via the link to it on internal pages of the main website. We used SurveyMonkey to collect and compile the data.
There's a lot to look at and talk about, so I'm going to share this information in three or four posts. Today I'll fill you in on some of the most basic demographics from the survey, all of which required answers and the first set of answers from the section where answering was optional for participants. Next, I'll do two more posts with the remaining information that was optional, including some of the comments from participants. Last, I'd like to talk a little bit about what some of the findings of the survey suggest to me, how we intend to respond to them and get some user and community feedback on that as well. If anyone wants to start discussing any of this in the comments here before then, I'd be happy to do that with you.
I'm also including some links to on-site polls which are similar or relevant to some of the data, in case a comparison is of interest.
In the survey, users in the United states and all others outside the US answered separately, with 65% of respondents coming from the US, and 35% from other nations (a number of US readers about 20% higher than our logs and other analytics typically reflect). Here, all the answers have been combined and averaged, both for ease and because the answers did not differ significantly between US users and those outside the US.
Age: The vast majority of our readers (79%) are under age 24; most are between the ages of 16 and 21 (53%). 13% are aged 13-15, 32% are 16-18, 21% are 19-21, 13% are 22-24, 11% and 25-30 and 10% are over 30.
Area: Scarleteen users are primarily urban and suburban. 40% of those surveyed live in urban areas, 38% in suburban areas, 13% in rural areas, and 9% are unsure what type of area they live in. (We did not ask about economic status because so many of our users do not know what their yearly family income is, and do not want to disclose to their families they they are utilizing a sex education service.)
Sex and Gender: We differentiated between sex and gender in this survey, asking what sex users were assigned at birth, and, separately, what their gender identity is. We did this this way for several reasons: gender tends to be far more relevant to us in serving users well than sex, we do not address sex and gender as the same as an organization, and we also already knew we have a substantial number of users whose assigned sex differs from their gender.
In addition, when asking about gender identity, we had fields for men/boy and women/girl and trans/trans gender, and assumed that some trans users would choose one of the former two fields rather than the trans field. We did this because we know that some prefer to identify specifically as trans, while others prefer not to identify specifically as trans, instead identifying their gender in the ways cis gender people most often do. This also had to do, again, with what is most relevant to us as an organization, which is how our users identify their gender, rather than how and if their gender matches the sex they were assigned at birth.
86% of participants were assigned female sex at birth, 13% male sex, and around 1% reported an intersex assignment, did not know what sex they were assigned at birth, were not assigned a sex at birth to their knowledge or preferred not to answer the question.
80% stated they identify their gender as women or girls, 12% as men or boys, 4% as genderqueer, gender-variant or agender, 1% as questioning, 1% as trans or trans gender, and 1% stated they identified their gender in some other way than the fields above (with some identifying a sexual orientation as a gender identity, either because they misunderstood the question or because that also is or is part of their gender identity). Less than 1% preferred not to answer.
The other field for gender included answers such as "transfabulous and genderplayful," "gender abolitionist," "Strong female. I decide what that means day by day," "A man who is happy in a woman's body," "not a girl," "bigender," "femme," "butch," "Teddy Bear (masculine-leaning genderqueer)," and "boygirl."
Related poll: When it comes to my gender, I:
Sexual orientation: Scarleteen readers represent a highly diverse spectrum of sexual orientation. When asked what word respondents "use, or best describes, sexual orientation (who you are sexually/romantically attracted to, if anyone, based on gender)," 52% answered straight or heterosexual, 19% bisexual or pansexual, 8% stated they chose not to use any words or terms to identify their sexual orientation, 5% answered queer, 5% answered questioning, 3% answered lesbian, 3% answered asexual, 2% answered gay, and 3% stated they identified their orientation with words or phrases not included in the fields given. 1% preferred not to answer the question.
The answers to the "other" field were most typically combinations of some of the above terms or the above terms combined with other aspects of sexual identity (like polyamory or monogamy, BDSM, celibacy, fantasy, the desire or lack of desire for romantic relationships, attraction based on age, etc.).
Related poll: When it comes to my sexual orientation, I think I am:
Ethnicity or race: A majority of responses were from white users. 68% identified as Caucasian, European or White, 8% as Asian, 4% as African, African-American or Black, 4% as Hispanic, Latino/a, Mexican or Mexican-American, 8% as Biracial/bicultural or multiracial/multicultural, and less than 1% as American Indian/Native American, First Nations or Alaskan Native, Arab or Arab-American or Pacific Islander. 3% chose other, and these most often were answers reporting a bicultural or mutlicultural race or ethnicity, reporting a religion as a race/ethnicity, stating a national identity as a race or ethnicity (such as Irish, French or American), specifying a South Asian ethnicity, or an AU/NZ aboriginal ethnicity. 4% preferred not to answer the question.
Education: Most of our users are in or have completed K-12 education or college/university. Less than 1% reported never attending any type of schooling, 2% reported their highest level of education as K-12 education via homeschool or another setting, 41% reported K-12 in traditional school settings, 12% reported 2-year college, vocational school or other higher education, 25% reported 4-year college, vocational school or other higher education, 6% reported some graduate school, 8% have completed graduate school, and 5% chose other (most of the these answers involved GEDs, alternative education or were responses which referenced/were included in the above categories).
How did users first find Scarleteen? The vast majority of users (77%) found Scarleteen online, via a search engine or a link on another website. 40% report they first found us via a search engine, 37% via a direct link on another website, 6% were referred by a friend or romantic/sexual partner, 2% via a sex education class, group or independent sex or health educator, 2% via a book or magazine, 1% through a teacher, coach or other mentor, less than 1% by a parent or guardian, less than 1% by a healthcare provider, and 5% found Scarleteen some other way. 7% don't remember.
The other responses included links to websites (so should have been included via that field instead), listed books (so, again, should have been included under books), podcasts including those of Dan Savage, Susie Bright and Amanda Palmer, radio, sex education text services, and "my awesome lesbian cousin."
What are users' favorite parts of Scarleteen as a website and an organization? Participants were able to choose more than one answer in this segment. The majority report that the articles (80%) and advice column (62%) are their favorite part of Scarleteen. The message boards are a favorite for 24%, the blog for 19%, the polls for 15%, the text service for 4%, the resource listings for other sites, agencies and services for 13%, and the new Find-a-Doc database for 6%. 9% list our facebook page as a favorite and 5% list our twitter accounts, @Scarleteen and @STSpeaks. 46% say that the parts of our website written by staff and other experts are a favorite, and 28% say first-person content written by young people is.
What have users used Scarleteen for? Respondents were able to choose more than one answer in this segment. 53% said they used it to "find sexuality or relationships information or approaches I couldn't find anywhere else."
23% have used Scarleteen to "talk with others about sex or sexuality in a safe space," 21% to get emotional support, and 20% used it to get help or information when in a crisis. 24% have used us to find help or information for someone else, and 13% to give emotional support to others. 47% have used Scarleteen to find out about sex education in general, 16% to get ideas for activism, and 10% for research.
44% used Scarleteen to "fact-check information I heard/read somewhere else," 32% to get information a sexual healthcare provider/doctor didn't give them, and 3% to get a referral for in-person help or services.
Nearly equal numbers of respondents stated that they were using Scarleteen to find out about sexuality and relationships for the future (50%) as those who stated they were using it to get information for current relationships and situations (52%).
When given an open field to list other things they may have used Scarleteen for, the most common answer was getting information as a partner, guardian, teacher or healthcare provider to share with a young person.
Related poll: Which of the following did your sex ed in school (before any college) and/or at home include:
The following data is the first part of a section of the survey that was completely optional. Just over 1,500 respondents answered these questions. They were allowed to choose multiple answers. We asked these questions because we wanted a more well-rounded sense of some of the life experiences our users have or have not had, particularly those pertaining to sexuality and relationships, or which we know have an impact on sexuality and relationships:
Have you ever:
Related polls:
This is our final installment of stories and photographs from I'll Show You Mine, a book by Wrenna Robertson and photographer Katie Huisman, and by all of the women featured in the book, collectively. To find out more about the book, Wrenna, and why we think this is such an important project, check out our interview with her here. Or, you can visit the website for the book to find out and more and get a copy for yourself.
If you'd like to ask the person whose body and words are featured in each entry any questions or have a conversation with her, most of the subjects have agreed to make themselves available here in the comments for discussions with our readers. As mentioned in Wrenna's interview, so many people never get the opportunity to talk about genitals in an honest, open and safe way with others, so we encourage you to avail yourselves of the opportunity, and are so grateful to the women involved for making this kind of conversation available to Scarleteen readers.
We're also happy to talk with you as Scarleteen staff or volunteers if you like. Depending on your feelings about your own genitals or those of others, and your experience (or lack of it) in seeing vulvas so realistically before, reading narratives or seeing images like these may stir up feelings for you which are uncomfortable. We're glad to talk you through any discomfort if you like should that happen for you. We're also happy to answer any questions this series may bring up for you about sexual or reproductive anatomy, either here in comments, on our message boards, or through our text service.
Reminder: This post includes a set of unaltered, unretouched and detailed photographs of the vulva for the purposes of awareness and education, not for sexual or other entertainment. If you do not wish to view photos like this, or are in a location where you do not feel comfortable viewing them, you may not want to read or scroll to the bottom of this page. We have left substantial space in between the words and the images so you may read all of the author's narrative without also viewing the images if you prefer.
This post also includes a first-person narrative reflective of the author and their own thoughts, feelings and language, which may or may not reflect the opinions or values of Scarleteen as an organization.
Yes, the picture you are looking at is my vagina.
When I look at this picture, I feel alienated. I will tell you why. Here is my story.
When I heard about this project, I got so excited about it. Right away, I volunteered to participate. Words could not describe my reaction to learning about genital cosmetic surgery. I felt that I was doing something important by participating. And then shooting day came. I realized that my vagina was really going to be a model.
I am a woman who believes it is important to keep some hair on the vagina. The hair is there for a reason: it protects your genitals from several things, including bacteria. It's also a natural way to reduce unwanted friction during intercourse.
I've never removed my hair fully. I only trim for personal hygiene. When I trim I don't necessarily try to get a perfect shape.
But this time, before the photo shoot I considered trimming perfectly. "It's going to be in the book," I thought.
I started to trim. In a short time, I noticed that my hair was becoming less and less. It happened so fast. I couldn't believe that I had removed it all. "No hair." I wanted to scream.
I was looking at the mirror to see what I did. And my vagina was looking back at me. "What did you do?"
Should I cancel the photo shoot? This is not the way I look naturally. I can't undo it. I couldn't believe that "the look of my vagina" had become such a big concern.
What I believed had practically collapsed. being photographed "got" me. Wanting a well-trimmed look, the process had resulted in a disaster. I felt I didn't really respect myself, by contradicting my beliefs and altering my body.
I hope this story reminds women that we are all beautiful just as we are, and not to let anyone or anything change how you look naturally.
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Previous posts in this series:
Want some information on vulvas and other sexual anatomy, gender and body image? Check these links out to get started:
This is the seventh installment of stories and photographs from I'll Show You Mine, a book by Wrenna Robertson and photographer Katie Huisman, and by all of the women featured in the book, collectively. To find out more about the book, Wrenna, and why we think this is such an important project, check out our interview with her here. Or, you can visit the website for the book to find out and more and get a copy for yourself.
If you'd like to ask the person whose body and words are featured in each entry any questions or have a conversation with her, most of the subjects have agreed to make themselves available here in the comments for discussions with our readers. As mentioned in Wrenna's interview, so many people never get the opportunity to talk about genitals in an honest, open and safe way with others, so we encourage you to avail yourselves of the opportunity, and are so grateful to the women involved for making this kind of conversation available to Scarleteen readers.
We're also happy to talk with you as Scarleteen staff or volunteers if you like. Depending on your feelings about your own genitals or those of others, and your experience (or lack of it) in seeing vulvas so realistically before, reading narratives or seeing images like these may stir up feelings for you which are uncomfortable. We're glad to talk you through any discomfort if you like should that happen for you. We're also happy to answer any questions this series may bring up for you about sexual or reproductive anatomy, either here in comments, on our message boards, or through our text service.
Reminder: This post includes a set of unaltered, unretouched and detailed photographs of the vulva for the purposes of awareness and education, not for sexual or other entertainment. If you do not wish to view photos like this, or are in a location where you do not feel comfortable viewing them, you may not want to read or scroll to the bottom of this page. We have left substantial space in between the words and the images so you may read all of the author's narrative without also viewing the images if you prefer.
This post also includes a first-person narrative reflective of the author and their own thoughts, feelings and language, which may or may not reflect the opinions or values of Scarleteen as an organization.
The opportunity to participate in this project came along at the perfect time during my journey of rediscovering who I am, as a woman, as a person, during the second half of my life.
I was sexually repressed for most of my life and it has only been in the last few years that my sexuality has truly awakened. I felt my marriage less than a year ago and found myself back in the dating game. I am drawn to younger men, men who grew up on porn, men who date younger women who grew up on porn, porn that depicts perfect little shaved pussies.
The men I was dating did not seem interested in my southern region for oral purposes; I started to become self-conscious about it. I had never seen another woman's vagina up close and personal and I had only used a mirror a few times to check out my own. I started to take a closer look at mine, comparing it to the only reference I had - porn - wondering how I should improve the appearance of my vagina.
Did I need to shave? Should I have my mole removed? How do I make my vagina more inviting to men?
And then it dawned on me: it wasn't about creating the perfect vagina for others to see, it was about me accepting mine as it was. Body image issues seem to plague so many women and it was finally time for me to embrace and appreciate my body, to love who I am, as I am. I have what I have, my body is mine and I am going to keep it as it is.
As I became more comfortable with my vagina and my body as a whole, men became more interested. It was all about my attitude and how I projected these feelings unto men. As I became more confident in who I was, men picked up on my new empowered self and they were then eager to journey to my southern region... better sex and mutual sexual satisfaction soon followed.
I am proud to say: my name is Laure and this is my vagina.
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Previous posts in this series:
Want some information on vulvas and other sexual anatomy, gender and body image? Check these links out to get started:
This is our sixth installment of stories and photographs from I'll Show You Mine, a book by Wrenna Robertson and photographer Katie Huisman, and by all of the women featured in the book, collectively. To find out more about the book, Wrenna, and why we think this is such an important project, check out our interview with her here. Or, you can visit the website for the book to find out and more and get a copy for yourself.
If you'd like to ask the person whose body and words are featured in each entry any questions or have a conversation with her, most of the subjects have agreed to make themselves available here in the comments for discussions with our readers. As mentioned in Wrenna's interview, so many people never get the opportunity to talk about genitals in an honest, open and safe way with others, so we encourage you to avail yourselves of the opportunity, and are so grateful to the women involved for making this kind of conversation available to Scarleteen readers.
We're also happy to talk with you as Scarleteen staff or volunteers if you like. Depending on your feelings about your own genitals or those of others, and your experience (or lack of it) in seeing vulvas so realistically before, reading narratives or seeing images like these may stir up feelings for you which are uncomfortable. We're glad to talk you through any discomfort if you like should that happen for you. We're also happy to answer any questions this series may bring up for you about sexual or reproductive anatomy, either here in comments, on our message boards, or through our text service.
Reminder: This post includes a set of unaltered, unretouched and detailed photographs of the vulva for the purposes of awareness and education, not for sexual or other entertainment. If you do not wish to view photos like this, or are in a location where you do not feel comfortable viewing them, you may not want to read or scroll to the bottom of this page. We have left substantial space in between the words and the images so you may read all of the author's narrative without also viewing the images if you prefer.
This post also includes a first-person narrative reflective of the author and their own thoughts, feelings and language, which may or may not reflect the opinions or values of Scarleteen as an organization.
In casual conversation, it is my vag, or va-goo if I'm in a silly mood. If I'm feeling particularly Feministy or Earth Mother Birthing Goddessy, it is my Yoni. I tell a lover I would love to lick her pussy. Whatever it is called, one thing is certain: it is pretty freaking amazing.
I am a doula, which means that I see on a regular basis the phenomenal things our vaginas can do. I have also birthed two children myself. My first child was a hefty 10 pounds. I gave birth on my hands and knees, stopped listening to the people shouting at me to push, and pushed when I felt like it. I did not tear.
The nurses were amazed with my vagina; I was amazed with myself.
While pregnant with my second, the topic at a party steered towards childbirth. A friend of mine emphatically stated that when she has children she would opt for a cesarean. Not for fear of pain but because she did not want to ruin her vagina. She told me flippantly that I must be loose.
Loose. Ruined.
I realize that sometimes in childbirth problems do occur that lead to major changes in women's vaginas, and I do not wish to discredit those experiences. However, I want to address the idea that childbirth, aging or having lots of sex leads to a RUINED vagina.
I took a look at the dictionary definition of "ruined." Total destruction or disintegration. To harm irreparably.
Many things may change the shape of our vagina and vulva, childbirth being one of them. But does having a different vagina mean it is ruined?
My vagina has accommodated the birth of two large infants, and returned more or less to its original shape. It has been penetrated by various body parts and sex toys and perhaps some things that were not meant as sex toys but were commandeered for that purpose. To this date I have enjoyed a vibrant sex life with a variety of partners. Is my vagina ruined? No! I want to stop hearing women worry that childbirth will RUIN their vagina, stop hearing about doctors putting in a "daddy stitch" when they repair a vaginal tear and get rid of terminology that defines women by their vaginas.
Women who sleep around are called "loose women." There is a problem with that.
My name in Kacey, I have birthed two large babies, slept with multiple partners and had a variety of interesting items in my hoo-ha. Despite this myriad of "vagina destroying" activities, my pussy remains the bastion of partner pleasing, baby birthing and self-exploratory awesomeness that it has always been. Woo!
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Previous posts in this series:
Want some information on vulvas and other sexual anatomy, gender and body image? Check these links out to get started:
This is our fifth installment of stories and photographs from I'll Show You Mine, a book by Wrenna Robertson and photographer Katie Huisman, and by all of the women featured in the book, collectively. To find out more about the book, Wrenna, and why we think this is such an important project, check out our interview with her here. Or, you can visit the website for the book to find out and more and get a copy for yourself.
If you'd like to ask the person whose body and words are featured in each entry any questions or have a conversation with her, most of the subjects have agreed to make themselves available here in the comments for discussions with our readers. As mentioned in Wrenna's interview, so many people never get the opportunity to talk about genitals in an honest, open and safe way with others, so we encourage you to avail yourselves of the opportunity, and are so grateful to the women involved for making this kind of conversation available to Scarleteen readers.
We're also happy to talk with you as Scarleteen staff or volunteers if you like. Depending on your feelings about your own genitals or those of others, and your experience (or lack of it) in seeing vulvas so realistically before, reading narratives or seeing images like these may stir up feelings for you which are uncomfortable. We're glad to talk you through any discomfort if you like should that happen for you. We're also happy to answer any questions this series may bring up for you about sexual or reproductive anatomy, either here in comments, on our message boards, or through our text service.
Reminder: This post includes a set of unaltered, unretouched and detailed photographs of the vulva for the purposes of awareness and education, not for sexual or other entertainment. If you do not wish to view photos like this, or are in a location where you do not feel comfortable viewing them, you may not want to read or scroll to the bottom of this page. We have left substantial space in between the words and the images so you may read all of the author's narrative without also viewing the images if you prefer.
This post also includes a first-person narrative reflective of the author and their own thoughts, feelings and language, which may or may not reflect the opinions or values of Scarleteen as an organization.
I knew at an early age that I had increased sensitivity all over my vulva, later discovering through an OB/GYN that my condition was called vulvar vestibulitis.
The exact cause is unknown but that pain lasts moments to weeks. The options presented to me to relieve the discomfort were hormonal creams and laser surgery to remove a layer of skin from the most sensitive area. When a variety of special hormonal creams failed to alleviate any pain, I chose to follow a strict diet, switched to all organic soaps and detergents, meditated with Quantum Healing Touch and abstained from intercourse. But the pain always came back.
Taking care of my physical body was only a part of the healing process because after many years of suffering, I discovered that both my heart and mind-body must be involved in order to live a pleasurable life.
Pain of all kinds have persisted throughout my life, but the experiences wouldn't have come to me if I was not strong enough to handle them.
A few months after turning 16, I had a boyfriend who didn't respect my request to remain a virgin and raped me while I was unconscious after drinking alcohol with him.
It was not the last time I was sexually assaulted.
Thriving rather than just surviving after abuse meant I had to radically alter my perspective. We always have the choice of what to focus on and I realized that the ones who assaulted me continue to suffer most because they don't know how to engage in a loving relationship and their sexual desires have become a dis-ease.
I changed drastically; I engaged in an adventurous, long-distance romance that was initiated via the internet, and I moved to another city to begin a career as an exotic dancer, which unexpectedly became therapy for me. My passion for dance and enjoyment of being naked allowed me to receive praise and appreciation from the gender I once greatly feared. In a setting where many people perceive women to be exploited, I was introduced to a nurturing soul mate who shares unconditional love with me.
Loving myself and being loved has taken the pain away and it has yet to resurface!
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Previous posts in this series:
Want some information on vulvas and other sexual anatomy, gender and body image? Check these links out to get started:
This is our fourth installment of stories and photographs from I'll Show You Mine, a book by Wrenna Robertson and photographer Katie Huisman, and by all of the women featured in the book, collectively. To find out more about the book, Wrenna, and why we think this is such an important project, check out our interview with her here. Or, you can visit the website for the book to find out and more and get a copy for yourself.
If you would like to ask the person whose body and words are featured in each entry any questions or have a conversation with her, most of the subjects have agreed to make themselves available here in the comments for discussions with our readers. As mentioned in Wrenna's interview, so many people never get the opportunity to talk about genitals in an honest, open and safe way with others, so we encourage you to avail yourselves of the opportunity, and are so grateful to the women involved for making this kind of conversation available to Scarleteen readers.
We're also happy to talk with you as Scarleteen staff or volunteers if you like. Depending on your feelings about your own genitals or those of others, and your experience (or lack of it) in seeing vulvas so realistically before, reading narratives or seeing images like these may stir up feelings for you which are uncomfortable. We're glad to talk you through any discomfort if you like should that happen for you. We're also happy to answer any questions this series may bring up for you about sexual or reproductive anatomy, either here in comments, on our message boards, or through our text service.
Reminder: This post includes a set of unaltered, unretouched and detailed photographs of the vulva for the purposes of awareness and education, not for sexual or other entertainment. If you do not wish to view photos like this, or are in a location where you do not feel comfortable viewing them, you may not want to read or scroll to the bottom of this page. We have left substantial space in between the words and the images so you may read all of the author's narrative without also viewing the images if you prefer.
This post also includes a first-person narrative reflective of the author and their own thoughts, feelings and language, which may or may not reflect the opinions or values of Scarleteen as an organization.
My pussy is special to me because I didn't always have one, because I have worked so hard to be able to have one. I always struggled with my gender identity and, in particular, having male genitalia, as it never felt right to me. In my darkest times, I could not go to the bathroom without thinking about taking a butcher's knife to my genitalia.
My vagina was constructed out of the tissues from my old genitalia: the labia are created from my scrotal tissue, the vaginal wall from the skin tissue of the penile shaft, and the clitoris made from the head of the penis (including all the nerve endings). I have no cervix, no uterus or ovaries. I do not get periods and cannot get pregnant. This is a blessing I've been told by many other women, yet I still wish I could experience these natural parts of womanhood. Despite this, I know that I am just as real a woman as any other.
I remember a couple days after my surgery, when I could feel my new pussy underneath all the bandages. Finally everything about my body felt right. Somehow I knew where everything was, even though I couldn't see it and all I had known before was my penis.
In fact, ever since that moment, I have not been able to remember what having a penis ever felt like. For me, this is a wonderful freedom. I've had people tell me I'm "crazy" or that I would regret this, that I would miss my penis. The truth is I could never bring myself to go back, even if it were still physically possible. I used to have a recurring nightmare in which I would wake up in a hospital with my penis sewn back on me. Now, when I see myself naked, I can look down at my pussy and be reassured that it could never happen.
My vagina isn't much to look at; the slit curves near the bottom, and I have a thick scar on each side of my labia, which is very visible if I shave my pubic hair. Yet I feel a sense of satisfaction whenever I look at it. My pussy's beauty comes from its struggle for its own existence. I feel a connection with it that I never had with my previous genitalia.
I've had my vagina for a year and a half now, and I honestly can't imagine my life without it anymore. I enjoy sex so much more, as everything feels so much more natural and satisfying. My pussy has given me the confidence that I needed in order to love my body.
Today, I love being naked because I can look at my body and be happy with who I am, and my pussy is an integral part of that experience.
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Previous posts in this series:
Want some information on vulvas and other sexual anatomy, gender and body image? Check these links out to get started:
This is our third installment of stories and photographs from I'll Show You Mine, a book by Wrenna Robertson and photographer Katie Huisman, and by all of the women featured in the book, collectively. To find out more about the book, Wrenna, and why we think this is such an important project, check out our interview with her here. Or, you can visit the website for the book to find out and more and get a copy for yourself.
If you would like to ask the person whose body and words are featured in each entry any questions or have a conversation with her, most of the subjects have agreed to make themselves available here in the comments for discussions with our readers. As mentioned in Wrenna's interview, so many people never get the opportunity to talk about genitals in an honest, open and safe way with others, so we encourage you to avail yourselves of the opportunity, and are so grateful to the women involved for making this kind of conversation available to Scarleteen readers.
We're also happy to talk with you as Scarleteen staff or volunteers if you like. Depending on your feelings about your own genitals or those of others, and your experience (or lack of it) in seeing vulvas so realistically before, reading narratives or seeing images like these may stir up feelings for you which are uncomfortable. We're glad to talk you through any discomfort if you like should that happen for you. We're also happy to answer any questions this series may bring up for you about sexual or reproductive anatomy, either here in comments, on our message boards, or through our text service.
Reminder: This post includes a set of unaltered, unretouched and detailed photographs of the vulva for the purposes of awareness and education, not for sexual or other entertainment. If you do not wish to view photos like this, or are in a location where you do not feel comfortable viewing them, you may not want to read or scroll to the bottom of this page. We have left substantial space in between the words and the images so you may read all of the author's narrative without also viewing the images if you prefer.
This post also includes a first-person narrative reflective of the author and their own thoughts, feelings and language, which may or may not reflect the opinions or values of Scarleteen as an organization.
My vagina history contains culture shock, a single father, religion and terrible experiences with men. It confused, sexualized and controlled most of my life.
I remember my first experience with my vagina. I was 7 years old. I was bathing when I accidentally created water pressure and it ran down my vagina. It felt strangely good and unlike anything I had felt before. Instinctively, I felt that I had to keep this discovery to myself because I knew there was something dirty about it. I had immigrated to Canada leaving my home, my culture and my mother to live with my father. We never had the sex/genital conversation.
I had come from a different culture and had grown up with a different set of freedoms. I remember feeling sad when my father didn't allow my younger brother and me to bathe together. I quickly learned to be self-conscious as my native culture was very different from Canadian culture. Growing up in Canada with a single father was difficult. Going through puberty was challenging and having my first period was the worst.
I enjoyed my showers and baths for years. It was where my body felt good; I just didn't understand anything about it. As I matured, I was curious and hopeful about sex. When I talked with my girlfriends, I was excited when I heard about their sexual activities and saw how they carried themselves with such confidence. It was enough for me to try it out. Sex was not what I had expected and I became even more conflicted as I was raised believing that sex before marriage was against my religion. I continued to feel confused and ashamed for masturbating and having sex.
Not until the last few years have I freed myself from all that had oppressed my vagina and my identity. I moved away from my father, I freed myself from religion, and I have opened up to spirituality and to connection. I freed myself from having meaningless sex and eventually met a man who my vagina became very fond of. He treated my vagina in the most delicate and precious way. All of my bad memories and experiences disappeared the day I saw him staring and touching my whole vagina in daylight, just looking at it with his blue eyes. It was also the day I first embraced my vagina and accepted myself. Together we've discovered the depths of my vagina, its details and its abilities, its wants and needs, its likes and dislikes. With his openness he helped free my vagina from its previous life and today I am not ashamed anymore. I have accepted the gift of womanhood and self-worth and I want to share it with you.
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Previous posts in this series:
Want some information on vulvas and other sexual anatomy, gender and body image? Check these links out to get started:
This is our second installment of some of the stories and photographs from I'll Show You Mine, a book by Wrenna Robertson and photographer Katie Huisman, and by all of the women featured in the book, collectively. To find out more about the book, Wrenna, and why we think this is such an important project, check out our interview with her here. Or, you can visit the website for the book to find out and more and get a copy for yourself so that you can see the whole of this amazing book.
As we mentioned in the last installment, if you would like to ask the person whose body and words are featured in each entry any questions or have a conversation with her, most of the subjects have agreed to make themselves available here in the comments for discussions with our readers. As mentioned in Wrenna's interview, so many people never get the opportunity to talk about genitals in an honest, open and safe way with others, so we encourage you to avail yourselves of the opportunity, and are so grateful to the women involved for making this kind of conversation available to Scarleteen readers.
We're also happy to talk with you as Scarleteen staff or volunteers if you like. Depending on your feelings about your own genitals or those of others, and your experience (or lack of it) in seeing vulvas so realistically before, reading narratives or seeing images like these may stir up feelings for you which are uncomfortable. We're glad to talk you through any discomfort if you like should that happen for you. We're also happy to answer any questions this series may bring up for you about sexual or reproductive anatomy, either here in comments, on our message boards, or through our text service.
As is always the case with any interactive content on the site, comments for this series will be moderated, and as we always ask of those who comment, please dedicate yourself to respectful and thoughtful conversation. Thanks!
Reminder: This post includes a set of unaltered, unretouched and detailed photographs of the vulva for the purposes of awareness and education, not for sexual or other entertainment. If you do not wish to view photos like this, or are in a location where you do not feel comfortable viewing them, you may not want to read or scroll to the bottom of this page. We have left substantial space in between the words and the images so you may read all of the author's narrative without also viewing the images if you prefer.
This post also includes a first-person narrative reflective of the author and their thoughts and feelings, which may or may not reflect the opinions or values of Scarleteen as an organization.
When you think of it, it's a bit silly. Nothing to get excited about, right? A couple flaps of skin, a bunch of nerve endings and hair, all covering some inner bits that resemble a water slide I went down once as a child. But I love it.
I think the vagina is powerful. It's a source of life, a source of pleasure, and even though I'd never admit it, my vagina makes me feel like a goddess. There is this smile that shows up on my lover's face when his fingers are disappearing inside me. I can't help but be blown away by the fact that in those moments, he is worshipping the most hidden part of me. That nothing else exists for him except me.
As strange as I am sure it makes me, I even adore my menses. It's this deep, dark red blood that reminds me I'm connected to something primal. How cool is that?
I did not always feel the vagina love. I grew up embarrassed and confused by my body and, by extension, my vagina. I was taught that I was somehow unclean and that my vagina was the dirtiest part of all. It was not until I was living away from my family that my feelings towards my body began to change. I began to realize how wonderful my vagina was. I did a great deal of thinking about myself and my body and how I interacted with the world, and I just kept on coming back to one thing.
"Why?"
"Why should I be ashamed of my body and my vagina especially? Why should I consider it and its fluids dirty?"
I spent a good deal of time meditating on the subject and I honestly could not come up with any answer at all, let alone a reasonable one.
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Want some information on vulvas and other sexual anatomy, gender and body image? Check these links out to get started:
We're so very excited to kick off this series today which features some of the stories and photographs from I'll Show You Mine, a book by Wrenna Robertson and photographer Katie Huisman, and by all of the women featured in the book, collectively. The book is an educational resource which was created to debunk society’s artificial and unrealistic standards for normalcy and beauty with the vulva, and to help people really get a sense of not only what vulvas can look like, in all their diversity (and without our pal Photoshop in the mix), but the diverse ways people who have them can feel about them. Sixty women are represented in the book, each with two large, true colour photographs. The photos are paired with in-her-own-words stories of each woman’s experience of the shaping forces of her sexuality; the stories range from heart-wrenching to celebratory, from angry to sensual. Women from a variety of ethnicities, ages spanning from 19 into their sixties, and all walks of life are represented: students, doctors, artists, academics, sex workers, mothers, grandmothers, housewives, entrepreneurs and more.
To find out more about the book, Wrenna, and why we think this is such an important project, check out our interview with her here. Or, you can visit the website for the book to find out and more and get a copy for yourself so that you can see the whole of this amazing book.
Over the next eight weeks, we will be posting the photographs and first-person narratives of eight of the women featured in the book. We will lead with the narrative, and follow with the photographs. If you would like to ask the person whose body and words are featured in each entry any questions or have a conversation with her, most of the subjects have agreed to make themselves available here in the comments for discussions with our readers. As mentioned in Wrenna's interview last week, so many people never get the opportunity to talk about genitals in an honest, open and safe way with others, so we encourage you to avail yourselves of this excellent opportunity, and are so grateful to the women involved for making this kind of conversation available to Scarleteen readers.
We're also happy to talk with you as Scarleteen staff or volunteers if you like. Depending on your feelings about your own genitals or those of others, and your experience (or lack of it) in seeing vulvas so realistically before, reading narratives or seeing images like these may stir up feelings for you which are uncomfortable. We're glad to talk you through any discomfort if you like should that happen for you. We're also happy to answer any questions this series may bring up for you about sexual or reproductive anatomy, either here in comments, on our message boards, or through our text service.
As is always the case with any interactive content on the site, comments for this series will be moderated, and as we always ask of those who comment, please dedicate yourself to respectful and thoughtful conversation. Thanks!
Reminder: This post includes a set of unaltered, unretouched and detailed photographs of the vulva for the purposes of awareness and education, not for sexual or other entertainment. If you do not wish to view photos like this, or are in a location where you do not feel comfortable viewing them, you may not want to read or scroll to the bottom of this page. We have left substantial space in between the words and the images so you may read all of the author's narrative without also viewing the images if you prefer.
This post also includes a first-person narrative reflective of the author and their thoughts and feelings, which may or may not reflect the opinions or values of Scarleteen as an organization.
With no further adieu, let's get started with Diana!
When I was a very young child, I remember really, really loving my vagina. The smell and sight of it made me feel comfortable and at home, and I was very vocal about how proud I was to be a girl. When I was still young and cute enough for adults to find me benign and non-threatening, I'd boast at length about my genitalia, describing its structure in detail - even feeling it was far superior to the junk of the boys around me.
I'm not sure exactly when, or how, or from whom I picked up the fear and shame I developed surrounding my vagina, but by the time I was 6 or 7 I wished it didn't exist. By the time I was 10, I'd almost succeeded in putting it completely out of sight and out of mind. The occasional fluid leaks and period scares were the only things keeping me attached in any way to the space between my legs. The onset of menstruation only made me feel dirty and self-conscious, and I bundled my shame in toilet paper and cotton, wrapping discarded pads in layer after layer of tissue, hoping my family would never find out that I bled.
I was not raised in an environment where women where allowed to be proud to be women.
By the time I started having sex I had racked up over a decade of sexual shame. It took almost a year for me to learn how to feel, to breathe through the discomfort and embarrassment and the guilt, to feel like I could, in fact, experience pleasure.
It still takes a lot of effort and encouragement, from myself and from others, for me to feel comfortable expressing fondness for and felling anywhere near as delighted as I once did about my vagina. Participating in this project allowed me to feel a whole new level of love for it - like what I have is wanted, and can be loved, and that this love is deserved.
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Want some information on vulvas and other sexual anatomy, gender and body image? Check these links out to get started:
If you’ve been reading Scarleteen for a while, you might already know that for many years now, we've heard from a good deal of young women who are deeply ashamed of and disgusted by these parts of their own bodies.
Some have feelings so negative that they are afraid to show loving partners their vulvas, or worry a lot about partners they haven't even met yet and that unknown person's reaction to the appearance of their vulva. Others don't get sexual healthcare they need because they don't want a doctor to see their vulvas: in other words, for some, distress about vulval appearance may be putting not just their emotional health and self-esteem, but physical health at risk. Some are so fearful, disgusted or negative they won't even use a mirror to get a better look at their vulvas alone, or won't touch their own vulvas because their feelings of disgust are so strong. Some even find it hard to feel comfortable around other women in non-sexual ways or to hear other women talk about their bodies because their discomfort extends beyond feelings about their own vulvas to the vulvas of everybody.
Plenty have expressed a desire for cosmetic surgery, even when healthcare providers and others have assured them that their ideas their vulvas look or are atypical are not founded in reality. Some have feelings so negative they have asked us how to remove or dissect their labia themselves and have voiced earnest intent to do so, or even having already tried doing so.
While we have always had more users with vulvas than those with penises, I can count on less than one hand how many people have ever stated intent to mutilate or amputate their own penises or foreskins because they feel they’re ugly, abnormal or sexually unappealing, while I’d estimate we have heard from at least 100 people over the last few years in email or on the website who have stated that kind of intent about their vulvas. Sometimes those feelings are based in, or have been amplified by, guys who these young women are sexual with or are considering being sexual with making negative, ignorant and really out-of-order comments about their vulvas or the vulvas of other women (usually as the imagine them or see them in porn, rather than from real-life experience). While we have yet to hear from someone with a sexual partner who is a woman making the same kinds of negative comments, sometimes those feelings and perceptions have come from the ways they have read or heard other women talk about vulvas, and not just women they see on plastic surgery shows getting labiaplasties, but their mothers, sisters, friends, even women who claim to be doing some kind of work out of love for other women, but whose love clearly doesn't extend to women's bodies, including their own.
Sometimes people feel negatively about their vulvas even when partners and other people in their lives have been nothing but positive, even complimentary. When that's the case, it's usually because that person is just so convinced their bodies must be wrong, or when they have given messages from media or internet forums or hallway gossip more weight than what people who they value in their lives have to say.
You don’t need me to tell you that all of this is seriously distressing.
We take this very seriously, and have always wanted to do everything we could to try and help dispel all kinds of body shame or hatred, including that of the vulva. To help counter these kinds of feeling and attitudes, we’ve done a lot of one-on-one talking with people who feel that way, continue to provide accurate, positive, body-loving information about sexual anatomy and to debunk some of the kinds of myths, ignorance, oppression or negativity that are or can be part of fear and shame around the vulva, vagina and bodies on the whole, as well as some pieces that directly address worries, concerns or negative feelings about labial or other vulval appearance. We've supported the work the New View Campaign has done around this issue. We have a page here on the site with some of Betty Dodson’s rad vulva illustrations to show some vulval diversity.
Up until now, everything we've had at Scarleteen that has depicted genitals have been illustrations, not photographs. In part, that’s been because often photographs available aren’t done well, don’t depict much diversity or clearly are for entertainment, not education. That's also been about thinking of people who are viewing our site in a public place. But an even greater influence than both of those things has been that we already tend to take a good bit of flack for just having illustrations, or even talking with young people at all about body parts. Having photographs has seemed like it would open us up to a whole new circle of hate mail hell.
However, we remain deeply concerned about this, and want to try and do all we can to dispel all of these negatives and drum up more body-positive, real-deal information and attitudes. And that’s why over the next couple of months, we’re going to go ahead and take the risk of publishing some photos of real-person vulvas, because we’ve found something we think is beautifully done, very much needed, and that we think can be of great benefit to many of our readers, whether they have vulvas themselves or not.
What we found, and what the select images and stories we’ll be sharing with you in a series are from is I’ll Show You Mine, an educational resource book created to debunk society’s artificial and unrealistic standards for normalcy and beauty with the vulva, and to help people really get a sense of not only what vulvas can look like, in all their diversity, but the diverse ways people who have them can feel about them. The book is a collaboration between exotic dancer Wrenna Robertson and photographer Katie Huisman. 10 percent of profits from the sale of the book are donated to local and international women's charities and free copies are available for educational and public use.
I’ll Show You Mine is a unique public resource. Sixty women are represented in the book, each with two large, true colour photographs. The photos are paired with in-her-own-words stories of each woman’s experience of the shaping forces of her sexuality; the stories range from heart-wrenching to celebratory, from angry to sensual. Women from a variety of ethnicities, ages spanning from 19 into their sixties, and all walks of life are represented: students, doctors, artists, academics, sex workers, mothers, grandmothers, housewives, entrepreneurs and more.
Wrenna says – and we agree – that the book is not intended as erotica or as art. It is, quite simply, reality. Before we roll out a new series based on the book, I wanted to share some of Wrenna’s own thoughts, feelings and words about the book and the process of creating it.
Wrenna has worked for half of her life as a stripper. She says that “since the time I began in the industry, plastic surgery has been very common, with women opting for breast augmentations since long before I started. Recently, however, I began to notice a trend I found quite troubling. Numerous co-workers spoke to me about the insecurities they had regarding their labia minora. Two of them asked if they could show me their vulva, wanting my opinion on whether or not I thought they should seek labiaplasty. Three others indicated that they, too, were uncomfortable with the appearance of their genitals. They were too shy to display their labia in the brightly lighted change room.
"Every woman was uncomfortable with the topic, choosing to bring it up with me only when no one else was around, each speaking in apologetic tones, as if this was such taboo topic, it was a burden to be placing upon me. Remember - these are strippers I am talking about. Women who are often thought by many to be among the most sexually liberal in our society. I realized that if these women had such a hard time talking about their labia, found it so challenging to show their genitals to a friend, then there was likely a whole bunch of women out there who felt equally shy. And I wondered, if women are so shy talking about vulvas, too shy to take the opportunity to share with friends what their bodies look like, where were they getting this idea of what theirs should look like?
"I recognized that there was a dearth of resource material which allowed women to view other women’s genitals. Certainly there is no shortage of porn available on the internet, but I don’t feel the images are presented in a way which allows a woman to fully view the vast diversity and beauty of female genitals, nor are all women comfortable watching pornography. I decided to make a book which would display life-size and full color photos of a diverse range of vulvas, all shot from the same camera angles and in the same lighting conditions. I also recognized that this was an incredible opportunity for women to share their experiences surrounding their bodies and their sexualities. I believe our inability to share openly about this part of our body is a very large part of the problem. I saw this as an opportunity to encourage women to examine how they feel about their bodies, about their sexuality, to uncover the root of those feelings. I recognized that being able to glimpse into another woman’s experience can be such a powerful way to learn about ourselves and they way society has shaped our feelings and beliefs."
I asked Wrenna who she intended the book to be for. She said that she "made this book primarily for young women, but see[s] it as valuable for all members of society. Gaining an appreciation of the diversity of the vulva is crucial to men as well as women, and the depth of experience shared by the 60 models is a powerful lesson for everyone. There is so much conveyed in the short stories that it would be hard to close the book unchanged in some way. It was truly revelatory for me, to gain a more complete understanding of how our culture shapes our beliefs regarding sexuality and shame."
I found that the stories of the women who took part in this project to be unusually earnest, real and powerful. So, I incredibly curious about the experience they had not just taking part in the project, but ultimately, being the project. After all, if looking at a book like this could be as radical and pivotal as I think it can for many people, especially those who haven't had the chance to see an array of other vulvas before, being part of it was probably even more powerful.
"The women who so bravely chose to take part in this project have conveyed that they benefitted immensely from their participation. Many faced very deep fears in deciding to have their genitals photographed, then dispayed in a book. Almost all found the process of writing a narrative even more difficult. It is an exercise I encourage everyone to undertake. Numerous women told stories they have never shared before, and found it to be cathartic. For myself, it was the starting point for my continued examination of the role of society and my upbringing in my feelings of shame."
The only other book I'd seen that was at all like this was only photographs, with the only text being written by the photographer himself, not by the people whose bodies were photographed, which struck me as problematic, especially since the person doing that book didn't have a vulva himself. I thought the stories added so very much to the table that I wanted to hear a bit more of what Wrenna thought about them.
Wrenna said that, "The stories bring such an important depth to the book. As women began submitting their stories, I felt more and more amazed at the power of the book. It evolved into something of our collective creation, far greater than I could have imagined or created on my own. The stories serve to connect the reader with the person represented by the photos, to relate to the model through shared experiences, and to grow through new and deeper understanding. I continue to go through the book and read the stories, and new revelations continue to emerge. I hope the stories encourage discussion and sharing among friends, set up the understanding that these topics are okay to speak about, provide a starting place for such discussions. A book of photos would certainly be valuable, but the accompanying stories make this essential reading for all women. And while I see the stories as vital to the book, the stories alone would not have same impact as when couple with the photos. The book is about shedding the impropriety of displaying one’s genitals, about being courageous enough to look at other women’s bodies without feeling shame."
When Wrenna and I talked on the phone, she told me about how her expectations of her co-workers were not sound. She’d expected them to feel very comfortable about participating in the project, as people who share their bodies and performance of sexuality for their living, and was very surprised to find that that wasn’t at all the case. We often hear young women voice that they are so, so very sure that women in sex work and pornography must be more comfortable with their bodies than anyone. I’ve known myself that wasn’t a sound assumption at all, and I think Wrenna’s experiences with women in those fields with this book illustrate that well:
"When I first conceived of the idea, I imagined the book would feature strippers alone. I knew many, and I assumed that each would be willing to take part. I thought it would send a strong message to those with body-issues - that women with diverse body types are all able to make money and be appreciated for their unique and beautiful bodies. I was quite surprised to discover that most of the strippers I asked to take part said no. Reflecting on this, I came to recognize that strippers, often admonished for setting unrealistic expectations in other women, are in fact among those most influenced by societal expectations of bodily “perfection”. These women, as a group, tend to undergo a disproportionate number of cosmetic procedures, highlighting their own insecurities and perceived deficiencies."
She then talked about who did participate in the book, how she found those participants and how it was working together: "Instead of photographing only strippers, I sought participants throughout Vancouver and the surrounding area by utilizing social media, presenting at universities and colleges, displaying posters where I could. The response was incredible, and the range of women who responded allowed for a book with a greater breadth of experience and age than I would have captured by limiting the project to strippers alone. Most of the women were strangers to me, so we met at a coffee shop nearby Katie Huisman’s studio. The immediate connection and openness I shared with each of the women was incredible. I recognized that women truly long to speak openly about these issues, really want to make change and help others, but are rarely provided with a venue to do so. I was so lucky to be able share in the experience with each model - for some a pivotal moment in their lives. I got to witness firsthand how difficult it is for many women to share this part of themselves, even in a non-sexual, fully consensual way. I was able to witness the transformation that occurred so quickly in so many of them. Katie is such a wonderful, professional photographer that she made the shoot very comfortable for each woman, and numerous ended the shoot remarking that it was far easier than they had anticipated."
Wrenna, Katie, and eight of the women who are part of this book have very generously given us the rights to reprint some of these photos and personal stories. Over the next two months, once a week we'll be sharing a different set of photos and the accompanying worlds of the woman in them here in the blog. Most of the women whose photos and stories we are reprinting have also offered to take part in a conversation in the comments with anyone who wants to talk with them about their experiences and their feelings about their bodies. We hope that being able to talk directly with some of them can help some of you to be involved in some of the earnest, supportive conversations about genital appearance you might not be finding anywhere else yet. We are greatly looking forward to sharing all of this with you, and can't thank all of these women enough for being willing to do such a cool thing with us here.
Because we do understand that not everyone looks at this site at home, for each of these entries, we will put the story first, and then follow with the photographs beneath, with a reminder right at the top of the page that it contains photos of vulvas.
So, stay tuned! We really look forward to sharing some of this excellent book with you, and encourage you to get your hands on a copy to take a look, and have one for yourself, or for anyone else in your life who you think could benefit, whether that's about dispelling shame and negativity or celebrating an already-awesome vulval self-image.
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