dysfunction

Parental Controls

Noodle
asks:
I have been in a monogamous relationship with someone my age for two years. We have been sexually active for a year now. My parents are religious and conservative, and believe strongly that there is no place for sex outside of marriage and I shouldn't be committed to my boyfriend until I have graduated college, which I am attending now....

Why I Deeply Dislike Your Older Boyfriend

I feel like he chose you because he thinks you can be convinced he's as good as you're going to get: when the truth is that you are the one who is as good as HE is going to get. I feel like dating someone as smart, gorgeous, fabulous and awesome as you are is something he does in part to make himself feel more important than he actually is. I feel like he thinks it's okay to use you to make others think better of him than he actually deserves. I feel like he chose you because he thinks "getting" you is an achievement all about him, not a partnership about both of you.

Why I Deeply Dislike Your Older Boyfriend

He may be older but he's not wiser, and he's not acting like a grownup. He doesn't want to grow up, which is part of why he's dating people he perceives as not grownup themselves. He also doesn't have the bad stuff that happens to you because of him happen to him to make him want to change: if he was in your shoes, he'd ditch him in a heartbeat.

All I want is to be held.... but that's not what keeps happening.

earthworm
asks:
I am in the predicament of wanting a man to hold me but suspecting that I have not yet mastered my ability to honor my boundaries. When I have asked men to just hold me, they never keep their word, and after becoming turned on from the contact, I lose the will to turn down their advances....

Why do I still feel so guilty?

Erin
asks:
I was dating a guy and the whole time I was dating him, he kept wanting to have sex with me. And I told him I wanted to wait for marriage. He said he'd wait for me and never ask me about it again. Well......that didn't happen. Every time we were together he kept asking if I wanted to move to the next level and I said no....