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discomfort

Self-Care When It's Scary

At Scarleteen, we're all about making choices. But sometimes, we see users making choices that are, ultimately, the opposite of the self-care the need in that moment.

I cannot insert anything into my vagina. What should I do?

amenie358 asks:

I am 20 years old and I cannot insert anything into my vagina, not even a tampon. After a month of practice, I have managed to be able to insert a finger about halfway into my vaginal canal. After that I freak out because it's uncomfortable and I pull out very quickly, which hurts a bit.

I know I'm not the only one with this problem because one of my close friends has it too, but I haven't figured out what to do about it. I would really like to be able to have vaginal sex sometime in the future, if not exactly now, or at the very least be able to use tampons! I haven't figured out anything that works.

Trans Boyfriend, Uncomfortable Girlfriend

Sarah H asks:

My boyfriend is transexual and often likes to express it. I'm completely fine with this kind of lifestyle but I find myself becoming nervous/distant when he brings it up too much. How should I become more comfortable with it?

I'm scared to touch my own vagina: why?

birthdaycake123 asks:

Hey. I'm 14 and I've never fingered myself. I've done other things, but the thought of fingering myself just seems gross. A couple times, I've tried to, but then I get to thinking about how gross vaginas are, and I chicken out. I know this is irrational, but do you have any advice on getting over this? Thanks.

Parents: worried about sending simplistic messages about sex to teens? Then don't.

margaret asks:

My 15 year old son has a first girlfriend who is a year older. My concern is that she lives with her dad only and quite often is home alone. My son has been there twice already and one time I made him leave because the dad was not home. I am besides myself about how to handle this. He said that he is not going to have sex with her but you know how that goes. I know what I was doing at 15. Do I make condoms available? But that would be condoning it. I will have a talk with the girl about not hanging at her house. They are always welcome at mine and I will try to speak to her dad about it.

Blaming the Wrong Butthole

Anonymous asks:

I used to be able to have anal sex with my boyfriend. We're in college, we've been together for over three years and have been having anal for the entire time. I never enjoyed it at all, it always also hurt but I let him do it because he liked it. Ever since last summer, I haven't been able to allow him to do it. It just hurts so much more than it used to! I've always been really sensitive, but usually if he was gentle it would be okay. It's not anymore. Even though we use a lot of lube (we don't use condoms, I'm on birth control) it just burns from the second he puts it in. (I don't think it's the lube because it doesn't bother me otherwise.) It feels like it's sore in there, that it's ripping or tearing something.

He's really upset because he wants anal. He says he feels cheated because he used to get it and now I won't let him. He understands that it hurts, but doesn't get why it's so bad all of a sudden. I don't get it either! The only explanation I have is that I don't get to see him as often now (I'm at college so sometimes it's only once a month) so maybe it just gets all tight in there. I've noticed this with regular sex too, but to a much lesser degree and it's still okay for me. So I feel like that might not be it. I don't know if my butt is sick somehow but it's been going on for such a long time there must be something going on! What could this be? It really upsets him, and it kind of bothers me, too. I don't get why it hurts so bad all of a sudden! Is something wrong up there? What can I do?

Latex allergy?

Tiffany asks:

I think I'm allergic to condoms but I'm not completely sure. Every time I have sex with my partner with a condom I get a rash the next day & it itches & burns a lot. It takes like a week for it to go away so every time we have sex we have to wait till its gone to have sex again otherwise it hurts really really bad. Also if it is an allergic reaction how can I take care of it without my parents knowing because they don't know I'm having sex & I do NOT want to tell them. Is there anything in the house I can use to cure it fast? Help!

How can vaginas not vary much in size, for real?

Anonymous asks:

I was reading posts and noticed that a lot of them said how sex should be easy if the girl is turned on and relaxed. I have a smaller build and perceive it to be proportional in "all areas". I'm 19. I really enjoy sex and I have been sexually active for two years. However, I have found that no matter how much foreplay my boyfriend and I engage in, sex is difficult to start with and I feel sore during the end and afterwards. My boyfriend has also noticed a large difference in "tightness" between myself and other girls he has been with. We always use a good amount of lubrication and I do feel really relaxed and aroused with him. I don't understand how a guy can have a larger or smaller penis, but yet everything I have read on your site says that women have little to no variation in size. Does this mean that I'm generally the same size as the girls he's been with and that there is something else wrong with me?

I orgasm first, but now I'm bleeding

Anonymous asks:

I usually orgasm before my boyfriend does, and we tend to keep going so he can get off. But lately I've been having very light bleeding spots. I don't know if it is because maybe he is causing an abrasion of some kind within me since I get sensitive after an orgasm. Is he damaging something?

I hate being a girl: is that wrong?

Anonymous asks:

I'm a 13 year old girl and HATE being a GIRL. I have the mind strength hands feet and hairiness of a boy but still have the body of a girl complete with boobs. Is there something wrong with me wanting to be a boy?

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.