communication

Hi there, Depending how long this has been going on for, I think you both need to give yourselves a break. You may have other stressors going on in your life, and now your sex life isn’t working out the way it used to … This is a lot of pressure. And, unfortuneatly, the more you focus on how great…

(Minny’s question continued) Still, I seem to be the odd one out and I find it distressing. I broached the subject with him recently, merely suggesting that I hadn’t actively enjoyed the way we’d had sex (not even that I disliked it) and he’d got very worried and hurt and said that I should have…

How about something like this: “Hey, I know we should have talked about this before, but since we’ve been having sex without condoms, I need us to talk about safer sex now. I don’t want either of us to be taking risks when we don’t have to, or when we should reduce them, so can we talk about this a…

The problem here isn’t your body, nor that fact that most women are just not going to orgasm from intercourse alone. The problem is, as you stated, the fact that your partner seems only interested in an activity which results in his own orgasm and his pleasure. That’s the big problem. That’s what…

I’m going to break your question down some so we can be sure to touch on everything here. First, let’s talk a bit about readiness. Readiness for any type of sex happens for people at different ages, different points in the relationship, and even in some relationships and not others. One person may…

Obviously, this is more of a personal judgment call than anything else. But personal ethics and the integrity of a relationship (as well as your own integrity) aside, you are likely to have some practical problems with not being truthful about faking and then expecting the sex to improve. I have to…

You gotta know it’s a bit silly to ask a question and tell us what we’re going to say. It’s not like we don’t understand wanting to orgasm. So, adjust your ears and your expectations, okay? My own script is likely different than what you’d write for me. I’m hearing a few different things here which…

Thanks for writing. I am sorry that your heart is hurting and I hope that I can shed some light onto your situation. Before I do so I just want to let you know that I’ll be using the term trans women rather than “she-male.” The term “she-male” is a slang term used to describe people assigned male at…

Really, truly, the longer we’re in relationships, the more we’re going to go through times when for one partner or the other – sometimes both – libidos are low or sex just isn’t a high priority. That’s okay. To expect our sex lives as time goes on to resemble how they were when we were brand new…

Here’s the kicker: there’s nothing we can do or know which will guarantee that a partner will enjoy something we do. Nothing. One facet of readiness for partnered sex has to do with being able to accept that and be okay with it. Another part is knowing that no matter what we do, there are probably…