What are the risks of having homosexual sex with another male? I tried it once, but I couldn't "get it up", so I was also wondering how I might help that?

my partner and i seems to explore new things in our sexual relationship. we are both sexually active and we enjoy making love. however, when we both come together i dont seem to get wet that easily and sometimes he goes soft in between too. there is just not enough chemistry. we try and we really love each other alot. he always needs to lubricate me and its never the case ever. its frustrating him and its stripping away my confidence.

we talked about it and are trying ways but its not working as well. i dont know how else to drive the chemistry. is this even possible?

I've noticed that I never really feel sexually attracted to anyone solely on the basis of how they look. I can find people aesthetically attractive. I'm not asexual, though-- I CAN be sexually attracted to people, it's just that I can't be particularly attracted to anyone unless I know what their personalities are like. So, my question is whether I should be considering myself bi, gay, pan, or... what. I realize that this may not be entirely the right forum for this question, but I seriously don't know anywhere else to ask.