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chemistry

Sexuality: WTF Is It, Anyway?

The term "sexuality" can be used a lot like the word "sex." They're both terms we say and hear a lot, but which often aren't clearly defined. We take for granted everyone knows what sexuality means, a heck of an assumption to make with something that covers so many important things and can feel as murky as Lake Erie. So: what's it all about?

Pump Up the Vole-ume: Talking Oxytocin

The more young people are told - usually by adults who know from their own experience it's not true -- that sex outside of marriage, outside long-term, monogamous relationships, or with any more than one partner in a lifetime, will always do them terrible, irreparable harm and make them damaged goods forevermore, the more we get questions about oxytocin, one common staple in that messaging. So, around a year ago, I started excavating. It's taken me a while to get this out here: I confess, it's mostly because I was dreadfully bored by it all. I'm not a neurochemistry geek, but a sex geek. Because so much of it wasn't all that relevant to sex, and because this just isn't my area of geekdom, every time I've picked this up what I found most amazing about oxytocin was its ability to miraculously cure my bouts of insomnia by just reading or writing about it.

Anyone who regularly reads Scarleteen knows we don't feel there's one model of relationship, or any right or wrong number of sexual p

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What's the worst that can happen?

qwertymepizza asks:

What are the risks of having homosexual sex with another male? I tried it once, but I couldn't "get it up", so I was also wondering how I might help that?

Why can't I orgasm?

jms91 asks:

It's really difficult for me to orgasm. As a female, I know it's a lot to expect to orgasm from intercourse, but it seems like everyone at least does from oral. But I've been with my boyfriend for over a year and he has yet to ever make me orgasm - even through oral sex. Why can't I orgasm?

Sex just isn't that great anymore; Am I doing something wrong?

stephlinatay asks:

my partner and i seems to explore new things in our sexual relationship. we are both sexually active and we enjoy making love. however, when we both come together i dont seem to get wet that easily and sometimes he goes soft in between too. there is just not enough chemistry. we try and we really love each other alot. he always needs to lubricate me and its never the case ever. its frustrating him and its stripping away my confidence.

we talked about it and are trying ways but its not working as well. i dont know how else to drive the chemistry. is this even possible?

Why do people like to have sex?

Whatever asks:

Why do people like to have sex? I have always wondered this.

I need more than looks to know if I find someone attractive: what does that mean in terms of my orientation?

Holly asks:

I've noticed that I never really feel sexually attracted to anyone solely on the basis of how they look. I can find people aesthetically attractive. I'm not asexual, though-- I CAN be sexually attracted to people, it's just that I can't be particularly attracted to anyone unless I know what their personalities are like. So, my question is whether I should be considering myself bi, gay, pan, or... what. I realize that this may not be entirely the right forum for this question, but I seriously don't know anywhere else to ask.

Is our spark fading because I kissed his best friend...or something else?

Anonymous asks:

I have a question regarding sex but also emotions. I've had the same boyfriend for 3 years and we have haven't had a sexual partner before each other. We love each other greatly but his best friend and me have gotten to know each other better and one night, we kissed. We didn't mean it to happen but it did and it almost happened again but I stopped it the second time around...so when I have sex with my boyfriend, it feels great during the action...but then I always feel down in the dumps right after. Is it because I'm not ready to have sex again until this situation clears my head or am I completely turned off on having sex with my boyfriend? I love him greatly but sometimes I don't feel as sexually attracted to him as I am to his best friend...please help me! Thank you.

I'm not feeling anything, and lesbian sex doesn't leave me many options.

Anonymous asks:

I am 16 and I'm a lesbian. Recently me and my girlfriend and engaged in sexual activities, but the weirdest thing is that nothing she does to me feels good. Us being in a female on female relationship doesn't really leave us with many options. So obviously we have run out of options and now I'm struggling for answers. Why is it that nothing she does to me feels good? I even try masturbating. I can't use my fingers because that doesn't work out for me, but I can massage my clit and that will eventually get me somewhere, but even then the feeling doesn't last that long. Whats wrong with me? What should I do?

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