boundaries

My friend is making terrible choices: how can I help?

Marie asks:

My best friend thinks its safe to have unprotected sex. She's sixteen (and has been for six months) and her boyfriend is fourteen (and will be for another three months). He thinks she's on the pill, so he doesn't ask her that they use a condom. Even though both of them were virgins, she was his first girlfriend while she had been "messing around" with guys as old as thirty four when she was as young as twelve. Her boyfriend is best friends with my boyfriend, and she is my best friend. Neither my beloved or I want to see this happen, but she acts like it's no big deal, and he yells every time we try to ask about it. She tells me I don't know what I'm talking about, since I'm a virgin and so is my boy -- and we intend to stay that way until we're in a truly committed relationship -- and says to just quit bothering her about it. If I didn't know for a fact that my best friend WANTED to have her boyfriends baby -- and soon -- I wouldn't stress nearly as much as I am currently. I don't know what to do, and was wondering if you could give me any advice... anything is helpful, I know she isn't ready for a kid and wish I could find a tactful way to convince her that there is no safe kind of unprotected sex. I've already showed her Scarleteen, and she brushed it off... so I'm out of ideas. Thanks much!

Are we really too young for unprotected sex?

maliburocker asks:

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 3 months and everyone tells me that we should not be having sex! Especially unprotected! Am I really too young to be having sex and unprotected at that? (I'm 16 years old.)

Was what we did a sex act?

lolo18 asks:

I'm a 14 year old girl and I hang out with my neighbor a lot (hes a guy) and one day we were at his house in the pool and we accidentally "rubbed" our bodies together and he got an erection. Was what we did a sex act? We still hang out and stuff but it hasn't been we kinda have that sexual tension between us now.

He's older, I'm intimidated and unsure

luv_cool_gemini asks:

I am a 15 year old girl and I have a boyfriend who is 20 we are going out for about two months we both love each other and till now we have had only one private moment were we smooched and he touched my breasts after asking and he tried to touch my privates like he just placed his finger there but he didn't go inside I told him that I didn't like it so he withdrew when we smooched again he took my hand to his penis but I jerked it off . We both are true to each other he has got a blowjob once from a girl n he has also fingered her and I too have given a blowjob to my ex but I am scared if I get pregnant and I also can't tell him to use condoms because he doesn't like it he also tells about having sex with me but I am just fifteen so what do I do? I also want to and don't want to give him a blowjob because I am scared that I will get pregnant and will he think wrong of me if I give him one? Because I don't want this relation to break.

I want to wait, but he's pushing (literally) and I'm not sure what's going on!

Confuzzled asks:

My boyfriend is respectful of my wishes not to engage in pre-marital sex, but lately, he has been teasing me with his penis and sometimes applying pressure "down there." Then I always make sure he doesn't push any further, but a few times he has pushed a little bit into my labia. But lately, I have been wondering I have lost my virginity...have I?

My boyfriend is sure he's a pulling-out champ, but I think I'm pregnant.

Holly asks:

My boyfriend is 31 years old and seems to think he is a pro at pulling out during sex. However I have been really tired and sometimes nauseous lately, plus more hungry than normal. A friend of mine who had a baby just a few days ago told me I'm probably pregnant... What do you think? I need answers ASAP!!

He's a great boyfriend... except when it comes to sex and my boundaries.

faithx4xus asks:

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and 9 months. From the very beginning, I made it extremely clear that I was not ready for sex and not going to be for a long time, if not until marriage. He said he respected it, and we agreed not to pressure one another until we were completely comfortable with decisions we had both made as a couple. About 8 months into our relationship, we discussed our sexual boundaries and agreed that we were comfortable with dry humping. Kissing and some fondling was all that we had experienced before. Everything with that was fine, and I began to give him hand jobs about 3 months later, but it was very rare. He had no issues with that either, except for the fact that he wanted to return a similar amount of pleasure to me, but I explained I wasn't ready for that, and he claimed it was fine. In the summer we went to the beach, and it was the first time I'd been around him in that little of clothing, so I was already nervous. He didn't say anything reassuring, but he was all over me the entire time. By the end of the day, I felt used and disrespected since he had tried to pull my bottoms down a little while standing behind me, but I was not expecting it. That turned into our first major fight, and I eventually broke up with him because of it. (continued below)

Am I wrong to allow him to touch me?

josephine asks:

I just recently allowed my boyfriend to touch me everywhere. Although we did not have sex, I feel really guilty now for enjoying it and doing it before marriage. Am I wrong to allow him to do so?

Dry sex that isn't dry at all.

Turquoise asks:

I've never really had sexual intercourse, and hence I would say my hymen is still in tact. But the other day my partner and I had dry sex, unclothed, and he might have had his pre-cum on my vaginal area. So is there a chance I could get pregnant, even though i'm still really a virgin?

Did he break my virginity with dry humping?

jolly asks:

I am a 23 year old virgin and have pledged to remain so until marriage. I recently had an intimate moment with one of my guy friends. I sat on his lap while he kissed my neck but he had an erection and I felt his pennis almost at the entrance of my virgina thought I had all my clothes including trousers on. We had agreed from the start that we wouldn't have penetration as that would break my virginity.

At some point he wanted to demonstrate to me the so-called "doggy style" and he did but still with my trousers tight on. However I did feel his erect pennis around my virginal area but no entrance. This was quite a vigorous activity and I did get well stimulated and wet and some bumps up and down!

All through this I did feel his erect pennis round my virgina even with my trousers on but didn't feel any penetration nor had any bleeding or pain afterwards. My concern is that could I have lost my virginity by any chance through this??

He wants to have sex with me, but I want him to ask me out!

Shaneeqa asks:

I'm 14 yrs old and this boy that I have been fooling around with, asked me if I would ever have sex with him. I do but I don't. If we use a condom, is there a high risk of getting pregnant? I also really like him alot. I just wish he would ask me out. Another question of mine is that, how can I bring up the matter of him asking me out?

It's harder for him to orgasm with condoms, so what do I do?

Jaimie asks:

I just had sex with my new boyfriend for the first time. He is used to having sex without a condom and now that he is using one he says its harder to have an orgasm because its different. I dont want to feel like I'm not satisfying him. What should I do?

Mandatory blow jobs and odd penile discharge

Anon asks:

I have been giving my boyfriend "blow jobs" all through our 10 month relationship and its been fine so far, I cant say I like or enjoy it but its been ok, recently I had a sore throat and when I gave him a bj noticed that balls of hard white stuff came from no where into my mouth, I assumed it was left from my sore throat and stopped, using my throat as an excuse but it kept happening everytime I gave him a bj. A couple weeks ago whilst I had my tongue on the tip of his penis I felt one actually come out! so now I know where they are coming from but what the hell are they? It makes me heave like anything when one comes out and makes me feel physically ill but since at the start of our relationship he told me that he didnt think he could be with a girl who wouldn't or couldn't give head I continue to do it. I also dont want to embarrass him by asking him directly but is it just semen dried into hard balls that are being pushed out when I squeeze down with my lips? How can I stop it happening? It makes me feel really ill, please help.