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With Pleasure: A View of Whole Sexual Anatomy for Every Body

Usually sexual anatomy is taught through the lens of reproduction, so it’s only about penises and vaginas, testes and uteri. Seen through the lens of of pleasure, sexual anatomy looks different.

I want to try masturbating, but I'm afraid it will hurt.

insanity98 asks:

I'm 15 years old. The only sexual things I've done are kiss and give a handjob. I want to start masturbating but I'm very scared. I have an EXTREME fear of pain: I can't even get shots without hysterics. Pain scares me more than the average person, and it's getting in the way of my sexual pleasure.

I've never fingered myself and I don't know how. I've looked at diagrams and at myself but I'm just not sure where my vagina opening is. I've never used a tampon, due to pain fears. When I tried fingering, I was very tight. I've read some answers here that said that a reason for vaginal discomfort when trying to insert objects could be that you're anticipating pain. So, how do I finger myself? What do I do since I'm so tight? Will my fear of pain get in the way of masturbation and, in the future, sex? How can I calm myself down enough so I won't be so scared and insertion will be easier? Please help me. I'm very scared. Thank you.

How to Understand, Identify and Make Choices About Desire

What does desire feel like, and how does feeling desire -- or not feeling it -- have an impact on sex or masturbation? Is it okay to feel strong desire, low levels of desire, or even no desire? We aim to answer your most pressing questions on sexual or erotic desire.

My boyfriend is too stressed out to have sex. What can I do?

aprasad asks:

I'm 21 and I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for two and a half years now. We go to the same university and have practically been living together in the same on-campus apartment for one and a half years. As our relationship has progressed, we've begun to have less and less sex. Neither of us initiates because we're always tired or stressed out. He says I should expect to not have much sex during the school year by now, but I don't understand how he is just constantly too stressed to even think about wanting to have sex. I've tried talking to him about it and he doesn't have much to say about it. A sexual life is important to me but the fact that he doesn't have much to say about it is worrying me regarding whether he doesn't find me attractive anymore or his testosterone levels are just canceled out by stress. If so, I don't know how to help him. Or help us.

Lube 101: A Slick Little Primer

Meet our good friend, Lube. It can't create world peace, but it can make some kinds of sex more comfortable, masturbation or other sex you already enjoy even better, help prevent condoms from breaking and more.

I have a strong hormonal cycle and it's affecting my relationship.

jessie09642 asks:

Thanks so much for such a useful and honest site, it's a big help figuring this stuff out. I am 19 and in my first serious relationship. I seem to have a strong hormonal cycle, my body changes a lot from week to week. I have tried my best to explain this to my boyfriend, but he doesn't understand how things that feel good to me one day might not feel like anything, or hurt me, the next. For instance, he likes to squeeze and massage my breasts - sometimes I love this, but sometimes (usually before my period is due) it hurts so much I have to ask him to stop. Also, I'm usually really wet, but for a week or so after my period sometimes I don't really get wet no matter how turned on I am. He thinks I'm confused about what I like, or that if I say something hurts or I don't get wet it means he's doing something wrong or I'm not actually turned on or enjoying myself even when I am. It frustrates him that he has to ask if something feels good every time we do stuff together. Is there anything I can get him to read that might explain why this happens better than I can or in a way that he'll understand? Also, some women in my family have had problems with combined birth control pills and my doctor says I shouldn't take them, but if I took the mini pill would this stop happening so much?

Bothered by being "hot and bothered"

Jackieson9d8 asks:

I'm 14 and am constantly hot and bothered and have constant erections. I've been like this for as long as I can remember even when I was little. I find I have to masturbate every 4 to 7 days or I will start to ache when I get a erection. I'm a little worried but I can't exactly discuss this with family or friends because it's embarrassing. I want to know if this is something to see a doctor about or if its fine as it is but any way it would really help if you could give me a reply.

Does an orgasm by any other name still feel as sweet?

toodlesnoodles asks:

Is cumming and having an orgasm the same thing? I'm a virgin. So I've never had sex. I just masturbate often. When I rub my clit for a while I get this amazing feeling and I can tell I squirt something out. After that, I get tired and stop. I can make myself do this multiple times and I consider that cumming. Is it an orgasm though? Is that how it's going to feel when I have sex?

Why does getting fingered feel better than sex?

SheGlimmerz asks:

When a guy fingers me, its amazing. I really enjoy it. But when it comes to sex, I don't feel much. None of the guys I have been with have been small. Sometimes when they go faster I feel a little bit but I should be feeling more. I don't know what to do about this. Why does getting fingered feel better than sex? Is this normal? Is there a way to fix this problem?

How to Become an Expatriate of Owville

PaulaKristine asks:

I am a 20 year old female. I have been sexually active since I was 17. Every time I have sex whether I was in a relationship with them or not having sex hurt. When we first start to have sex it feels good, but after a few minutes it starts to hurt, feeling like the penis is hitting a wall. I can't last for more than around 5 minutes or the sex feels like intense pain. Also I have never has an orgasm while having sex, I just do not feel aroused in the same way while having sex, like I do when my clit is being played with. People tell me I just do not have sex often enough so I am not "stretched out" or "used to it" but it does not feel good to me at all, except for the first minute or 2. I don't understand why I don't enjoy sex like the rest of the human population.

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.