abuse

Scarleteen Confidential: How “Men Suck” Messes Everybody Up

SCsquareMessages parents or guardians have given our users about gender come up frequently, and often problematically. As feminists and queer activists, we address gender stereotyping often in our content and conversations around women and gender nonconforming people of many stripes (or polka dots, whichever one prefers), and we know the weight of it all too well. But gender stereotyping is not just everybody’s problem, it’s a problem for everybody, and that includes for men, and the problems, for everybody, many gender stereotypes about men create.

On Belief

I am tired of disbelief.

I am tired of skepticism.

I am someone who does, genuinely, believe in the value of looking at things with a critical eye, of being cautious, of acknowledging that there are two sides to every story.

But I am tired of it when it comes to people who have been, or are being, harmed or made vulnerable.

A Pair of Jealous Boyfriends AKA Red Flags Aplenty

Sparknolee
asks:
I'm 16 and I'm going through relationship problems that I'm not sure how to handle or what to think of. My boyfriend wants me to change the way I dress because he says I look "slutty." He says he doesn't like me wearing shorts, skirts, dresses or a plain vest top on its own (and I'm quite flat chested so I never show off any cleavage). I'm the type of person who likes wearing what I want....

You're Not Pregnant. Why Do You Think You Are?

Some people struggle with strong pregnancy fears when there isn't a pregnancy or hasn't even been any real risk of pregnancy. What's that really about, and how can you move forward?

If Guys are Coerced by Girls, Is It Still Sexual Abuse?

arielleknowles
asks:
A friend of mine was in a relationship about 2 years ago. He's a guy. His girlfriend at the time pressured him into doing oral sex by saying that if he didn't do it that meant he didn't love her. Would that be sexual abuse? Because if a guy pressured a girl into giving him a blow job that would be considered sexual abuse and I'm just double-checking to see if that goes both ways....

He's Pressuring Me: How Do I Tell Him?

BeckisBack
asks:
My boyfriend of 2 years is pressuring me to send him nude pictures of myself to him. My question is not whether or not I should send him the pictures, because I'm not going to. It's regarding what I should do about his overwhelming sexual desire and uncontrollable temper, and recent accusations he has made towards me. ...

From Emily, Who Really Gets It.

Eleven years have gone by since I first came to Scarleteen as a very frightened, very lost sixteen year-old who had nowhere else to go and was ready to give up altogether.

I don't remember now what I wrote or what I asked for. But I will never forget seeing a response from Heather which read "I believe you, and I care."