S.E.X. Review

S.E.X.: Spelling Out All You Need to Know about Your Sexuality By Heather Corinna/ Marlowe & Company, 2007 © Review by Marian DiPerna, Verbena Health Newsletter, Spring 2007

Have you heard? Abstinence is in these days. Providing teens with access to contraception⁠ (contraception: Devices, medications or behaviors used to intentionally aim to prevent pregnancy, including the condom, the cervical barrier, the implant, the patch, the pill, the rhythm method, the ring, the shot, the IUD, spermicide and withdrawal.) is out⁠ (out: Short for ‘out of the closet’. When someone’s LGBTQ+ identity is known to other people.) . Any sex⁠ (sex: Different things people choose to do to actively express or enact sexuality and sexual feelings; often this involves genitals, but not always. ) education other than “ abstinence⁠ (abstinence: The choice not to have sex.) only” is out. Encouraging teenagers to make rational, well-informed, safe decisions about sex and providing them with the resources to do so is also out. Thinking about and discussing gender⁠ (gender: Characteristics that are seen or presented as distinguishing between male and female in a society. Gender may or may not include assigned or chosen: social roles, feelings, behaviors and/or presentation or appearance.) and sexuality—yep, that’s out, too. Does this sound like bad news to anyone else out there?

Heather Corinna’s book, S.E.X.: Spelling Out All You Need to Know about Your Sexuality, is here to save the day! S.E.X. is an articulate, comprehensive, and just plain fun resource on all things sex. Covering topics ranging from sexuality to relationships to safer sex⁠ (safer sex: Practices which aim to reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections, such as use of latex/nonlatex barriers, regular testing for infections and limiting the number of sexual partners.) (and every step in between), Corinna deftly presents each issue with a refreshingly straightforward, accurate, and honest approach.

I want you to choose to create a healthy, happy and fulfilling sexual⁠ (sexual: About or relating in some way to sex or sexuality.) life that is fantastic for you and for everyone else in it.

S.E.X. sets out to empower young adults⁠ (adults: People whose age in years exceeds the legal age of majority, people considered to be adults by law, or people who a culture or individual considers to have reached an adult stage of life.) to make healthy, informed decisions about their sexuality and begins with a wonderful challenge: “I want you to choose to create a healthy, happy and fulfilling sexual life that is fantastic for you and for everyone else in it.” This challenge is at the heart of every chapter. By beginning with a highly informative chapter on bodies and all of their inner-workings and immediately following it with an excellent, practical chapter on body image⁠ (body image: Our sense, awareness and perception of our body in appearance and function as it relates to our sense of self.) , Corinna lays an important groundwork for assisting her readers in thinking about sex and sexuality. She also nicely introduces the idea of “sexy” as being a whole body experience that “celebrates our bodies to the fullest.”

With this in mind, Corinna devotes an entire chapter to solo sex, arousal⁠ (arousal: A state of sexual excitement and interest that sends messages to the brain which create physical changes and sensations, such as increased blood pressure, erection, lubrication, loosening of the vaginal or anal muscles, and increased physical sensitivity.) , orgasm⁠ (orgasm: An event typically in response to physical or intellectual sexual stimulation, controlled by the involuntary nervous system. ) , and fantasy. She matter-of-factly addresses many questions young adults may have, debunks the plethora of myths surrounding masturbation⁠ (masturbation: Ways that people seek out and/or experience sexual pleasure by themselves, without a sexual partner.) , and never passes judgment on any of the possible choices that exist. She takes a similar approach in the following chapter, where she grapples with gender, orientation, and sexual identity⁠ (identity: The defining character or personality of an individual; who we feel like we are as a person.) . S.E.X. covers the gamut of related topics with excellent information on various gender identities, being an ally⁠ (ally: Someone who is on your side. Is often used to describe someone who takes a stand against discrimination when they are not a part of the group being discriminated against.) to trans and queer⁠ (queer: In the context of sexuality, a broad term for sexual orientation that can describe any number of orientations which are not heterosexual. People who identify as queer may be bisexual or pansexual, gay or lesbian, questioning, asexual or more.) folks, and strategies for coming out. The coming out section is particularly strong, as it addresses the many people and situations that might call for coming out, issues of safety in coming out, and concrete strategies for doing so.

In the pursuit of providing accurate information, S.E.X. devotes a large amount of time to defining and explaining partnered sex activities. Each entry⁠ (entry: In a sexual context, when a kind of sex involves someone putting one body part inside the body part of another person, such as with intercourse. Some people use the word "penetration" instead.) begins with the technical term for the activity, followed by common slang terms, a forthright explanation of the activity, and a rating for risk of sexually transmitted infections⁠ (sexually transmitted infections: STIs: illness, infection and/or disease which is often or can be transmitted through sexual or other intimate contact, like HIV, Chlamydia or Herpes. Some people call STIs STDs.) . No euphemisms, no glossing over of details, no condemnation—just the facts.

An equal (if not greater) amount of time is devoted to safer sex issues, for, as Corinna emphatically notes, “Sexual safety isn’t just about avoiding pregnancy⁠ (pregnancy: The state of carrying a developing embryo or fetus within the uterus. Medically, someone is considered to be pregnant when an egg has been fertilized by sperm, cells divide, and the fertilized egg is implanted within the lining of the uterus.) , abuse⁠ (abuse: Purposeful harm or mistreatment of another person, which can be verbal, emotional, physical or sexual. An ongoing pattern or cycle of such mistreatment or harm can characterize an abusive relationship.) , or the most deadly infections and diseases. It’s about doing what you can to safeguard yourself and your partners in body and mind.” The information on safer sex encompasses self-care, navigating the healthcare system (and knowing personal rights within that system), prevention, mechanics, and dealing with safer sex in relationships: all the tools needed to make healthy, long-lasting sexual health decisions.

While S.E.X. is aimed primarily at adolescents and young adults, it has a lot to offer for any adults with teenagers in their lives—or with questions of their own! S.E.X. addresses the potential awkwardness of talking with a teenager about sexuality and suggests multiple ways to open up communication⁠ (communication: Various ways we express ourselves to others, such as through speech, written words or symbols, sign language, body language, touch or art.) ; plus it’s a great way to brush up on your own knowledge surrounding sexuality and become another source of good information.

Chapter after chapter, Corinna reaffirms that her goal is for her readers to make informed, healthy choices that best suit their lives. She sets them up to do just that by framing each chapter—and the book as a whole—from a holistic view that acknowledges that things like body image, health, relationships, and support networks all play a role in sexual health. With S.E.X., Corinna has created an exceptional book that levels with young adults and provides the comprehensive information and resources necessary for making informed choices.