A candid memoir of first-time intercourse from the founder of Scarleteen.

From both our personal experiences of our own varied sex lives, and in our work in sexuality with many other people, it seems pretty clear that really letting someone into an internal space in your body, or going into someone else's insides -- which we know might sound a little gross, but that is what's going on with this stuff -- is a fairly big deal for many people. So, what might make sexual entry different from other sexual activities?

When we look in the mirror as a culture, our tendency toward hysteria always seems to hover in our communal blind spot. We’re not very good at seeing when groups with a political or social agenda are manipulating us with fear, often the unreasonable, irrational fear of the taboo.

I want to be accepted for who I am, not what I am. I don’t want to be straight if it’s just a VIP pass for friends.

In American society we often grow up with baseball as THE metaphor to describe sex. Let’s deconstruct the baseball model, uncover its many flaws, and take a look at an alternative which is a whole lot better, even if it might make you a little hungry.

Because of the way that sexuality works in all of us, the more responsible we are, and the more safe and protected we feel, the easier it is to be really aroused and to enjoy sex: which is the point, right?

Let’s just say – just because we can – that we, all women, in every sexual scenario imaginable, are already past both the no and the yes. Let’s say that nothing even starts without that yes, and that when it is issued, it is firmer, stronger and more exuberant than we may be able to presently imagine it could be. Let’s write a new ideal sexual initiation script. One that's a lot more interesting.

The more common meaning and implication of the term came to change around the 13th century and derived a sexual, sexist and moralistic meaning. With that change, the word now implied that staying a virgin until marriage guaranteed that a woman would uphold the family honor by passing from father to husband as an object that was owned -- her virginity, her own body, was a thing of value that would be owned by her father, until such time as ownership of her virginity, body and sexuality would be transferred to her husband.

The problem with asking how someone else how to do something that's just for and about yourself is that you know better than anyone else. But we can certainly fill you in on some basics. Includes the skinny on masturbation and UTIs, bleeding during mastrubation and on finding masturbation just isn't doing the trick.

There are certain physical, hormonal and psychological mechanics that come into play when it comes to human sexual response, and understanding those is essential to lay the foundation for understanding how sex works for ourselves and for our partners. Once we understand how our bodies work when it comes to sexual response, we've won half the battle of learning how to enjoy that and incorporate it as a healthy part of our lives, both alone and with others.

Need a place to start in building your sexuality canon? Start at the bookstore or your local library, and get your read on with these books we suggest as cornerstones for a holistic, informed sex education!

You can read everything from the Kama Sutra to The Joy of Sex, watch porn vids until your eyeballs fall out, have a ton of sexual experience or psychically channel Mata Hari or Casanova, but if you don’t know how to openly communicate with your partners -- with your words -- chances are neither you nor your partner are going to have really healthy, beneficial and satisfying sexual experiences, especially in the long-term. So, read up and start talking!

I’m going to suggest you look at reciprocity in sex -- the idea that one person gives something, so the other should get something of equal value back -- in a different way than you might be used to. (Excerpted and adapted from S.E.X., the Scarleteen book.)

There is really only one thing that you need to know about sex and disability:Disabled people have sex, too.

At least once every couple of days, a woman posts or writes into Scarleteen reporting that vaginal entry -- usually heterosexual intercourse or manual vaginal sex ("fingering"), and usually (but not always) with male partners -- is painful, uncomfortable, or unfulfilling for them. Whatever sort of vaginal entry we're talking about -- with fingers, a penis or a dildo, with partners of any gender -- not only doesn't have to be painful, it really shouldn't be. More than that, any kind of sex shouldn't be about a lack of pain, but about the presence of pleasure.

What we are talking about here is celibacy, the deliberate choice not to have a sexual partner for any period of time. There's nothing ambiguous about that. Being celibate entails sharing NO sexual acts with a partner: any kind of intercourse (vaginal or anal), oral sex, manual sex, and so forth. In other words, no physical, sexual contact with others; meaning any genital (penis or vulva) touch, with mouths, hands or anything else between you and someone else is off limits.

If we look at our sexuality one way, it looks a million times simpler than it actually is. If we look at it another way, it appears a million times more complicated. While it's important that we bear everything in mind we need to in terms of infection and disease, birth control, our relationships, our bodies and the whole works, now and then we need to remember the bare bones and the human element of the thing, and keep the essentials in the forefront of our minds.

Talking with your parents about sex can be really hard – even if your parents are really open and start the conversation themselves rather than you starting it – or even if your parents are totally supportive of your boyfriend or girlfriend and your sexual activities. Here are some tips and helps to make it easier on both of you.

When you're thinking about sexual (vaginal) intercourse with an opposite sex partner, and you've got everything you feel you need: materially, in terms of your relationship, and emotionally, you're probably still reading because you want to know HOW to make it all work your first time. The bulk of questions we get asked about first intercourse are: Will it hurt? Will I bleed? Will I hate it? I'm so scared, what do I do? Why isn't my boyfriend talking to me now that we've had sex? Why didn't I orgasm? Why didn't it feel like anything?

We talk a lot about sexual safety and safer sex here at Scarleteen in terms of your physical health. But what about checking in to see if sex is safe for you and yours emotionally? Taking care of your emotions, looking out for risk factors in advance -- not just when they become an existing crisis -- and safeguarding yourself, your partners and those around you from needless hurt and harm is just as important as doing what you can to prevent STIs and unwanted pregnancies.

Is your boyfriend or girlfriend more than a couple of years older than you? Here’s a scoop on age differences and what to watch out for.

There's a reason for taking things slowly, for putting off intercourse, or taking it away from center stage that often gets overlooked. I'm not talking about slowing things down for religious or moral ideals or social pressures. Not slowing things down to prevent STIs and pregnancy. Not even slowing things down for legal reasons or because of your age. I'm not talking about Just Say No, and I'm not talking about not having sex at all. I'm talking about PLEASURE.

Many men and women engage in oral sex, and find it one of the most pleasurable of sexual activities. So long as you engage in it responsibly, it's normal, healthy, safe and natural. Here are the basics, and the answers to your most common questions -- no secrets, no flashing lights and sirens, just the lowdown on going down.

The next time anyone tells you that only losers masturbate, or that they don't, and never would, bear this in mind: according to most studies and surveys, about 95% of adults have masturbated or continue to do so. Were many falsehoods and misconceptions about masturbation true, it would mean that 95 out of every 100 people would be blind, drooling psychopaths with hair on their palms and shrunken genitals.

Do all women orgasm from vaginal intercourse? Can masturbation make you blind? Do only men ejaculate? Scarleteen’s taking the time to debunk some of the most common misconceptions surrounding sex in one handy place.

You're forgiven if you think that even a little difficulty in this department means that you should start stocking up on Viagra. There are a number of falsehoods about ED floating around from schoolyards to saloons.

I'm 15 and I have a wonderful boyfriend who I am very much in love with. My boyfriend is the sweetest, gentlest, most caring person I have met in a while and I know he really cares about me and it's totally mutual.

The thing is, he has some crazy fetishes....not exactly crazy, but he really likes doing dominate-and-submissive stuff, where he gets to be the "slave." I know if I even said something like "I'm just not ready for stuff like that" or even that I don't like it, he'd be embarrassed. I don't want to do that to him! But I also do NOT want to feel pressured into doing anything just to make him happy, because I truly want to make him happy but when it comes to stuff I just don't really like that much, well if I let myself be pressured into one thing who knows what it could lead to. So how should I tell him without making him feel like crap?