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What's With Being Wet from That?

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Michael asks:

Is it normal for a girl to get extremely wet from just making out?

Stephanie replies:

It’s normal for a woman’s body to respond to anything she finds pleasurable, and every female body responds in similar yet different ways. What you’re really talking about here is arousal.

What we know about sexual response is that there is a basic cycle – generally referred to as the sexual response cycle. With the Masters and Johnson model, sexual experience for all people of any gender involves some or all of five basic stages: desire, arousal, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. So let’s delve a little deeper into what happens during the arousal phase.

There are many different types of arousal that are interpreted by our brain, but the type of arousal we’re really referring to here is sexual arousal. Sexual arousal is a state of sexual excitement, and when this occurs, messages are being sent to your brain which creates different physical changes and sensations throughout your whole body as well as your genitals that will prepare it for sex of any kind.

When we are aroused, we all have some fairly similar bodily responses. For instance, when we’re aroused, our blood pressure will rise, our heart beat quickens, and our breathing speeds up. In addition to these things, our bodies will become more sensitive and more receptive to touch. One primary physical response of arousal is referred to as vasocongestion, which means that there is an increased flow of blood to the genital tissue (which can also include the breasts and nipples), casing those tissues to become swollen with blood. For men, this increased blood flow that centers on the penis is what results in an erection.

For women, the increased blood flow causes the clitoris and labia to become puffy, stiffer, and somewhat enlarged. When this occurs, the vagina also often produces a slippery lubrication. As arousal continues for women, the uppermost third of the vaginal canal expands and loosens. The slippery lubrication for women is what many people class as “being wet” and it’s not only a very normal part of arousal, but also a very important part of arousal in women, as it helps to make any type of sex more comfortable. As well, a woman’s cervical mucus and vaginal fluids contribute to the process of conception and reproduction, because without the right consistency of these fluids, sperm aren’t able to swim upstream well.

So what arouses someone? There’s not really a simple one size fits all type of answer to that – arousal really depends on the person and the situation. Arousal doesn’t always come from a physical stimulus, for instance, but can also be mental, emotional, or hormonal. Generally arousal is about a combination of some of all of these things. And a particular person can be aroused by all of them, only some of them, or only one of them at any given time, with or without the addition of a physical stimulus. What gets us revved up also may not be the same thing from day to day. So, while kissing may make us very excited today, it might not have the same effect tomorrow.

Additionally, an important thing to be aware of is that we don’t all see or experience the same things as being sexual, or sexually arousing. What seems sexual or sexually arousing to one person is different than that for another. This is largely based on the fact that every person is different because of who we are, the experiences we’ve had, what feels good particularly with our own bodies, and even what we’ve been taught over the years that we should interpret as sexual or sexually exciting.

These differences come about from each person, and are perfectly normal. For instance, someone may find that being kissed or touched is sexually arousing, while other times for the same person and for other people what may be arousing is the sound of someone’s voice, a thought or group of thoughts that we have, the images we have in our own creative minds by means of imagination.

And what we find arousing differing from person to person is a great thing as well. It helps to make us unique, and each experience different. I’ve added some extra sources of information that you can check out:

written 17 May 2009 . updated 21 Jan 2014

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