Me and my partner have been together for 5 months now. I have just recently been tested positive for an STI (chlamydia). My partner and I have never used condoms because I am on the pill. My partner went and got himself tested and his results came back negative. How is that possible?

If you had a partner before him for oral, vaginal or anal sex, that could be who you got it from and your current partner managed not to contract it from you, or contracted it so recently that he isn't testing positive yet. Or, your current partner's test wasn't accurate, or he said he got tested and truly did not. Any of those things are the biggest possibilities of what's up here.

The general rule with Chlamydia is this: when your doctor prescribes you a treatment, they ask for your partner's name and give you a prescription for them as well. In other words, if you know you have only had one partner when you contracted the infection, it is that partner who has the infection, and there's no need for testing. regardless, since you have been with this partner while you've had the infection, he should be treated, so call into your healthcare provider to get him that treatment. And if you had not had a screening before this partner and had a partner before him, then you'll want to phone that partner -- or you can use an anonymous notification service like INspot -- to inform him about the STI so he can be treated.

Either way, it's time for the two of you to use safer sex practices for at least the next six months, including condom use.

The pill offers no protection against sexually transmitted infections, which are just as much of a risk -- and statistically, often a greater one -- as pregnancy is. With any new partner, what a couple needs to do to reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections is BOTH start with a new STI screening, BOTH use latex barriers for at least oral, vaginal and/or anal sex and both be monogamous. At the end of a six month period of all of these things, both can get one more screening: if you're both negative, then it's much safer to stop using latex barriers if you want to, so long as you both remain monogamous. This is a group of behavious which has been shown by public health agencies to reduce your risks, and one you and your partner will need to get into the habit of in your life if you want to remain sexually active and do what you can to prevent infections.

Obviously, if you did not have any other partners before this or while you were with your current partner, and you and your partner both had negative screenings before becoming sexually active, you're also going to want to talk if you had the idea both of you were being monogamous. If your partner transmitted Chlamydia to you -- it can't be transmitted other than sexually -- then you may need to deal with the fact that he was not monogamous.

I know that when you've gotten in the habit of going without safer sex it can seem daunting to start or like it's a drag. Honestly, when you're in the habit of safer sex, it becomes as simple and easy a habit as brushing your teeth. And when partners care about one another, it's not that big of a challenge to get started in truly easy practices which protect the health of both of you. You both know know that this is an issue, even if you didn't think it was before, so I'd just sit down and have a chat so that you can make a plan and a commitment together to be safer from here on out, with each other as well as with any other partners you may have in the future. If one or both of you needs more information to do that, I've got you covered.

Here are some links to help get you started: