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Bleeding after fingering?

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I recently engaged in sexual activity with my ex-boyfriend, and it was the first time I got fingered. It hurt, but after a while I got used to it. I didn't bleed, but this morning when I went to the bathroom, I saw a great amount of blood. I don't know if it's from that, or if it's just my period that's here early. Does it sound normal? Please let me know because I'm freaking out.

Heather Corinna replies:

First things first: when something hurts, that really is your body's way of telling you that IT wants whatever it is to STOP.

So, next time? If it hurts? Press pause.

Manual sex really shouldn't hurt -- nor should it just be something one gets used to: sex should feel GOOD -- and if it did hurt a lot, it was likely because y'all weren't using lubricant if there was insertion of fingers into the vagina, because you weren't aroused enough before and/or during, because your partner and you weren't doing anything BUT insertion of fingers into the vagina, because it was too deep, too hard, too fast, or just plain not what felt good to you. In other words, loads of reasons, but most taken care of pretty easily with active, clear communication and recognition of your needs.

That said: if you'd had an injury from the manual sex, it's pretty unlikely you wouldn't have been bleeding and pretty sore right then, rather than the next day, so my feeling is, you likely are just dealing with your period, especially if you were expecting it around now.

But if it ever happens that you don't do all those things above and you DO have profuse and immediate bleeding? Then you'd be well advised to get medical care: ultimately, sparing menstruation, any profuse or extended vaginal bleeding (rather than light, occasional spotting) really isn't normal and should be looked into.

written 08 Jun 2007 . updated 06 Dec 2012

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