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Are my fantasies normal?

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Amy asks:

Hi my name is Amy and I'm 21. When I masturbate I like to watch lesbian porn. I'm straight and everything it just turns me on. Is this normal? When I watch straight porn I don't get aroused. So please help!

David replies:

Hi Amy,

For as long as anybody's been studying sexual fantasies they've noticed that fantasies often have nothing to do with what we enjoy in real life. Sometimes our fantasies are the opposite of what we'd actually like to do! And for as long as anyone's been studying fantasies they've also noticed that very often when people try to act out fantasies it's kind of a letdown.

My favorite comparison is to someone who fantasizes at work about sailing a small boat around the world -- which is all about romantic getaways, really -- when really what's involved in sailing a small boat is mostly a lot of work, in a very cramped space, eating a lot of canned food, with sometimes weeks or even months of nothing on the horizon but more horizon. In other words while the fantasy is of getting away from work and boredom the reality is just... more work and boredom!

Anyway that's just another way of saying what turns you on while you masturbate to doesn't necessarily say anything about you.

written 25 Oct 2007 . updated 20 Jan 2014

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