Fantasy is an important part of our relationships with ourselves and our sexual desires. But it can also be a source of shame. How can we find ways to reconnect with our sexual fantasies and create a healthy relationship with desire.
Okay there’s a girl I really REALLY like. Like I’ve written at least an album's worth of songs about her and I can’t stop thinking about her. Well, recently I’ve started to think about having sex with her. The thing is I’ve had sex fantasies before but those were with celebrities, and the thought of wanting to have sex with someone I know freaks me out because I’m only 14....
This may get a bit vivid. Be warned. I have a twisted sexual history. After being molested at age 5 and again at 14 I somehow allowed myself to get taken advantage of and used in regards to sex. It took me many years to heal and much pain to get to where I am now and I can have a healthy sexual experience with my current boyfriend....
I have serious problems becoming sexually aroused without fantasizing about certain BDSM-like scenarios. I've been having fantasies of that sort for a really long time- years before I even knew what BDSM was- so I was thinking that my problem might just be that I'm used to these types of fantasies and only fairly recently started trying to use other means to get myself off, so to speak....