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Pregnant & Posting: 18 & 19 weeks

It's been an exciting and also unexciting couple of weeks. Life is changing, as it often seems to do.

At my last doctor's appointment I had gained a couple of pounds. My care provider was okay with this because it puts me back on the way to my pre-pregnancy weight. My partner was able to come to my appointment with me this time. We got to hear the heartbeat again. I'll also have my "survey ultrasound" (level II ultrasound) in the next couple of weeks. Sometimes people refer to this as a "gender ultrasound," although checking out reproductive organs is not even the primary goal of the procedure. It's not a required procedure. The primary purpose is to look at specific aspects of the fetus and see if there are any indications of possible abnormalities. The technician will take measurements of the limbs, look at the placenta & umbilical cord, and take pictures of the brain and spinal cord.

They also may be able to see the reproductive structures. In some areas, ultrasound technicians in medical practices are not allowed to give out this information, even if they can see it. In my area, they are allowed to give that information and I will probably find out about it. People keep asking me whether I think I'm having a boy or a girl. To be honest, I have no idea, nor does it particularly matter to me. I'm not going to run right out and purchase every pink (or blue) item I can find. I've got clothing and gear from my other child and will reuse as much of that as is possible. My partner & I are not huge on set traditional gender roles anyway, so it just doesn't matter at the end of the day.

The main reason we'll go ahead and find out (assuming they can tell during the ultrasound) is that if I can know information, I tend to feel like I should. Curiosity is just not a good look for me. I think I'm equally curious about where my placenta is attached this time. (The location of the placenta attachment to the uterus can sometimes influence how soon a woman feels movement. I'm feeling movement a bit later this time than I did with my previous pregnancy, so I'm curious about whether the attachment is in a different area this time.)

In other news, there are of course, some downsides to pregnancy right now. I'm now too big for all of my pre-pregnancy clothes. Maternity wear is ridiculously expensive (for clothing you'll only wear for a few months). I'm trying to buy as little as possible, but it sucks to have to do it. Going to work naked is not an option, so I really have no choice. It's also just weird to feel so big all of a sudden again. My body is changing much more quickly and visibly now. I have headaches a bit more often now and the anxiety sneaks back in sometimes. I worry about whether or not we'll get a new house in time (we need more space), how this will impact my work, what happens in the case of a job loss, etc. I try to take a breath and know that we've done the best we can to prepare for this, but it's harder some days than others.