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My first time having sex wasn't as expected - no orgasm, no pleasure at all, not like how it felt when masturbating or what it looked like in pornography - I thought it was something wrong with me. My partner used my lack of want for sex and my lack of orgasm to emotionally blackmail me into sex, saying I was a freak for not enjoying sex or that I did not love him if I did not want sex. My lack of knowledge about sex and my body lead to three years of this abuse and forced sex, then countless years of sex which was not pleasurable, staying with men who were unhealthy for me, a non-existent sex drive and trauma of forcing myself into having sex for the sake of other people.

The more I learned about sex and my body the more it helped me reclaim my body and understand why what happened was not my fault, I also learned how to enjoy sex as well as how to say no without fear - really, I cannot express just how much it helped me, it shocks me when I think that it didn't even cross my mind to learn about sex or my body before having sex or even after I had started having sex.

Sex education does without a doubt combat rape and abuse - if I'd known the basics I'd not have been abused. I decided many years ago that I didn't want others to have to experience what I went through, which is exactly why I went on to work within sexual health.