self-esteem

The ABCs of Size Bias

Body image ideals, like race and gender, are social constructs that have grown out of a combination of history, politics, class, and moral values. One need look back only a few generations, or across cultures, to see that attitudes about thinness and fatness are fluid and ever changing.

Can a guy be just as attracted to a fat girl as a "hot" girl?

Ash
asks:
I am 21 and very pretty, but also very overweight. Close to 200lbs. I don't look TOO bad as my weight is well proportioned, very large hips, bottom and bust, but smaller waist and relatively slim face. Recently a guy has expressed a serious romantic interest in me....

Neither of us are reaching orgasm, but I need him to.

Frustrated
asks:
I'm 17 and I have a boyfriend of 7 months, and we're both very much in love. We had sex 4 months ago and he didn't reach orgasm and I got the sense he was frustrated so we stopped trying until last weekend. We both really wanted it but the same situation happened where he didn't reach orgasm and I feel like it's my fault and that I'm just not hot enough for him....

Without condoms, I only last five minutes: what's wrong with me?

Kris
asks:
My girlfriend and I have been dating for over a year. I have never loved or felt this way about a girl. We have been sexually active ever since we started hooking-up and dated. She has the ring, and I like not having to use a condom. She is the first girl I have never worn a condom with though. At first I could last 15 to 20 min of intense intercourse and now I last 5 min tops....

I'm not ready...but am I just overthinking it?

Barbara
asks:
I have been so grateful for this site, it has been wonderful in making me more comfortable about my relationship. Basically, it comes down to the fact that my boyfriend and I are at the point where sex would seem like the next natural step, but every time we get close, we end up having a discussion instead....

I come way too soon and I just can't deal!

Chris
asks:
This question is about Premature Ejaculation, nowhere on the internet will give me any free advice or help so I really appreciate some real advice on thus one. I'm 20 years old and I have a girlfriend. We been having sex a lot, when I get to see her, (she lives in another city in the time being but when I do see her), the tension is high in our sexual urges and have a lot of it....

My friends are prettier than me, and it's making me miserable.

La Mama
asks:
Growing up, me and my friends always dressed the same and acted the same, but as we started getting older, we all developed into beautiful, young independent women. Since then, I have always felt that my friends were prettier than me and got all the attention. Looks-wise, they totally are gorgeous....

I'm late to the game: have I had an orgasm yet?

Anonymous
asks:
I am in my late twenties and have never had an orgasm.I have only become sexually acquainted with my body in the last couple of years and can now get myself to the brink which is really intensely pleasurable but I get no sense of release I would expect to associate with an orgasm. Am I just expecting too much? Am I having orgasms but they are just not what I expect?...

Vagzilla! (Or, All Genitals Great and Small)

If we're going to think of our genitals as big, any one of us, given the small range between them, we should think everyone's genitals are big. We also need to accept that it's ignorant or misinformed to think, presume or suggest that penises are big but vaginas are small, because we really are all about the same size. If thinking big is better for one sex, it's also got to be better for the other. So, if you or someone else is going to go on about some big penis, you'd best get just as excited about the idea of a big vagina, and make having a big ol'Vagowski just as cool. And if you're all hung up on the idea that the vagina be as small as it can possibly be, or is such a small thing, then you've got to accept that penises are small, too.

I think I'm addicted to taking pregnancy risks!

Anonymous
asks:
I have a problem: I think I'm addicted to stress, or at least the relief when stress has passed. I'm a very overly paranoid person and yet I keep acting carelessly and doing risky things. I don't want to get pregnant, I'm not on pills, and yet I'm always doing something sexual with my boyfriend....