self-care

When Sex is Just a @#*&!ing Bummer

Sometimes sex is amazing. Other times, it's nice. Then there are the times it sucks. How do you deal, and what's the hidden value in not-at-all-awesome sex?

Seven Things to Do If You’re Alone During COVID-19

Being single or otherwise on your own during the pandemic can be challenging, but it doesn't have to be awful or without benefit to you. There are probably lots of things you can do right now to help yourself cope and make the most of this time.  Here are seven ideas to get you started.

Deep Cover: Tips for Managing Anxiety or Privacy Worries When Masturbating at Home

Ooof, masturbating at home. Mom and Dad being one door down can be so nerve-wracking that you can’t even occupy sexy-thoughts long enough to get aroused, let alone do something abut them. Here are some tips from someone who knows this situation to help you stay discreet, overcome your anxiety, experiment with your sexuality and find this kind of comfort at home.

Body Talk: Listening To and Learning From Your Chronic Pain

For those of us with chronic pain, living our lives with other people -- be that with sex or something else -- can be tricky. Why was I often having such a hard time communicating such basic things? I realized that some of the survival strategies I used to get through the day were coming back to bite me. Over time, I developed some strategies for re-learning how to listen to myself.

How To Actually Date Yourself

Last summer, when I was half a year into being newly single and telling myself and my friends that I was “just doing me” or “dating myself,” I realized: I wasn’t actually dating myself if I wasn’t putting in the work.  Since then, I’ve been working on developing tangible strategies for dating myself. I am sharing these strategies with you, hoping that they may help illuminate the beautiful, confusing, nearsighted path back towards yourself. 

Self-Care and Social Distance

Some tips and a lot of support for thinking through how you might best care for yourself in this new era of social distance.

Getting to Know Your “New Normal”: Tips for Sex When You Have Pelvic Pain

It can be incredibly frustrating when a part of the body we strongly associate with, and expect to give us, pleasure ends up causing us chronic pain. If you have chronic pelvic pain, what do you do if you want to get sexual with yourself or someone else? How can you be physically intimate if you’re in pain? How do you talk to your partners? If it starts hurting, should you stop? This guide from Nicole Guappone offers some great help with all this and more.

A Manifesto on Pleasure and Self-Love for We With an STI

Despite the initial shame, guilt, name-calling, jokes, and fear related to disclosure, my STI presented me with a chance to love myself more deeply. It gave me a chance to sit with myself, who I thought myself to be, who I thought I was going to become, and who I really was.

Sexuality in Color: Can I Tell You a Story?

Mi gente — my beloved Latinx people who have courageously decided to make the trek north — your stories matter. Please know I admire you and I respect your decision to take action in your own self-care and that of your families. Your decision demonstrates profound acts of self-love and self-preservation. May you travel safe and light, keeping your heads to the sky, for you belong to this land.

How to Reconnect With Your Body In Spite of the Impact of White Supremacy

We've all been influenced and impacted by white supremacy for longer than anyone alive can recall. Throughout history, white supremacy has idealized and normalized dominant identities and behaviors, and has shamed and oppressed those outside of them. Here's some ways this has manifested in our bodies and some ways you can start to dismantle that impact and reconnect.