Hello. I turned 18 in November and I had sex for the first time in February. I had had my chance to do so many times before but a little voice in my head always told me it wasn't time or the guy wasn't "the one" so I always stopped. I was stimulated at a very early age due to sexual abuse so I unfortunately knew what it was to reach an orgasm since I was very very young....
There are a lot of people who, upon hearing the details without the context, would also be quick to tell me that it really isn’t a big deal and really isn’t rape. But the thing is, rape is a complicated thing. Rape needs context.
I come from an emotionally abusive home that occasionally gets physical. I was sexually assaulted by a family member when I was nine -not one who lives with me, and almost no one in the family knows. About a year ago, I cut the strings on a friendship that had gotten out of hand and turned into an abusive situation. I have been battling with depression for at least nine years....
Messages parents or guardians have given our users about gender come up frequently, and often problematically. As feminists and queer activists, we address gender stereotyping often in our content and conversations around women and gender nonconforming people of many stripes (or polka dots, whichever one prefers), and we know the weight of it all too well. But gender stereotyping is not just everybody’s problem, it’s a problem for everybody, and that includes for men, and the problems, for everybody, many gender stereotypes about men create.
I am tired of disbelief.
I am tired of skepticism.
I am someone who does, genuinely, believe in the value of looking at things with a critical eye, of being cautious, of acknowledging that there are two sides to every story.
But I am tired of it when it comes to people who have been, or are being, harmed or made vulnerable.