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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » The Venting Room: Tell Adults to Stuff It (Page 1)

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Author Topic: The Venting Room: Tell Adults to Stuff It
Executive Director & Founder
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It's been a while since I have done something like this, and after talking to a friend today, I wanted to give it a new go.

In short, I sometimes worry about y'all because I often see you feeling the effects of ageism in our world: feeling like you're not as personally powerful (I mean on the inside, not what crumbs of agency you're allowed to have in the world) as I know you to be, in part because adults don't pay you the respect you deserve and...well, you don't demand it as much as I feel you should/could. I even have lovely dreams sometimes of all of you scaring the crap out of adults, not because of threats of violence or because you have guns in your hands, but because you're just that assertive, that much a force of nature and as intimidating as the agents of change young people can be and have been in generations past.


...this is a safe space to tell those of us over the age of 30 to just plain shove it. To tell us what you have to offer the world that we don't. To intimidate the hell out of us. In other words -- within some semblance of the bounds of not engaging in other kinds of -isms yourself, since Scarleteen still does need to be a safe space for anyone reading, so things like threats of violence would not be cool -- this is a thread where you can just plain go off on the lot of us, vent your frustration, even get a little ugly if you need to. There are a lot of spaces where it isn't safe for you to do that, but you may need to do it anyway, so I want to help give you some practice feeling your might in a space where I promise, nothing will be held against you and you won't get into trouble for it.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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I just want to let all of the parents out there to know that us kids CAN do things on our own. I.E., Thank You letters from graduation? I got it covered, thanks. Okay, I appreciate the reminders, but every single day? And the yelling that comes with it? Maybe being a LITTLE nicer would get you further.

And I know you parents work all day and have to come home to 'dishes in the sink' and 'the trash can full', but you live here too. The whole house isn;t our responsibility. You say you need a little help, but when we are doing everything, we could use a little help too.

I guess this is just for my mom. But I guess it can go for other parents too.
Thanks, Heather, for the space to vent.

A guy might be able to slow me down, but he's not going to break me.

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If I may...

Something that has always rubbed me the wrong way was the phrase, and (coincidentally, one of my parents' favorites):

"Wait until you get out into the real world."

You mean to tell me that these near two-decades of my existence have not been in the "real world"? You mean to tell me that the violence, the perversion, the double standards and the biases that myself and my peers witness or experience regularly as young adults do not fit into the realm of your "real world?"

Would it stretch so far to say that my problems are not valid simply because they do not lie within the cesspool of financial debt, that my stress is any less valid because I am not inherently and inevitably bound by my finances? Are you saying that real life does not begin at birth, but begins with the institution of the first slew of monthly bills all in your name? Certainly, you're not saying that the "real world" is the only time when important and life-making/breaking decisions are made, and that my feelings, experiences, and hardships are not worthy of being listened to and acknowledged because you feel like your problems outweigh my own.

If this is not the real world, my past seventeen years should have been spent blindly lolling around in a field of bliss, (because my life is just that carefree and empty of oppression, injustice, responsibility, and decisiveness), waiting for the inception of the so-called "real world" at which point the sky falls down on my field of daisies.

..And that's all I have to say about that.

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"A wise man should consider that health is the greatest of human blessings, and learn how by his own thought to derive benefit from his illnesses." -Hippocrates

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why dont you get it? i mean i have been showing you who i am all of my life, why dont you see me... the only time you listen is when im screaming on the phone to a friend about how miserable you make me, or when i threaten to kill myself because i just cannot take it anymore... I am always the troublemaker, the bad one, the one with the messed up attitude... its never you... its never us... its always me... u dont believe that I can accomplish the simplest things... and then when I do you either act surprised or as if you knew all along... Im only allowed to shine when I receive a scholarship at school... but when i finally do well on my drivers lesson, YOU KNOW THE ONE YOU THOUGHT WAS NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN ...u could give a care.... the things that I work so hard for you barely bat an eye at... WHY DONT YOU GET IT... WHY AM I SO FLAWED TO YOU? WHY IS IT ALWAYS MY MISTAKE OR BEHAVIOR THAT SCREWS EVERYTHING UP... IM TIRED OF LOVING YOU AND GETTING SO LITTLE IN RETURN... IM TIRED OF YOU DANGLING THINGS ABOVE ME THAT YOU DONT EVEN OWN... IM TIRED OF YOUR CRAP IM TIRED OF YOUR JOKES, IM TIRED OF YOUR COMPLETE AND DISRESPECTFUL ATTITUDE TOWARDS THE FACT THAT I AM GROWING UP, AND I AM CUTTING YOU OFF... I AM DONE... IVE HAD ENOUGH OF ALL OF THIS... I AM 3 WEEKS AWAY FROM FREEDOM... AND I WILL NOT BE GIVING IT BACK ONCE I GET IT... I WILL NOT BE BOWING DOWN TO YOUR CRAP AND I DONT WANNA HEAR I LOVE YOU.... U SHOULD HAVE SAID IT WHEN IT MATTERED
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Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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(I don't want to take away from the fierceness of the posts here, but I feel like if I can't stop in every few posts just to pass hugs around, this old gal's heart is going to break.

So...HUGS. Okay, I now return you to your previously scheduled venting.)

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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(By the by, I was this close to having my own big, ugly vent at a couple of the folks commenting here -- -- even though I think I'm actually older than they are.)

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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(That article was one of the most half-disgusting and half-punch-the-air-in-delight things I have read recently, depending on whose post I was reading at any one time. [Razz] )

In a strange room, before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are filled with sleep you never were. I dont know what I am. I dont know if I am or not... how often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.

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You are supposed to be the adult, so QUIT ACTING LIKE SUCH A BABY. Love your children. Hell, tell your children that you love them. And for the sake of all that is good and holy, accept that she's growing up too and can make her own decisions and have her own feelings, that you can talk to her like an adult instead of shielding yourself from her and maniuplating her.

When your daughter's happiness fills you with hate and sadness, there's something really, really deeply wrong with you.

I swear to God, she acts more maturely than you do.

Up yours.

(Thanks. I needed that :-P I might have to come back here occasionally just to rant some more.)

"Cut her down."
"She is a witch!"
"But she's our witch. Cut her down."

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Stop blaming my lack of religious or spiritual beliefs, my atheism and my commitment to all born homosapiens' right to body ownership under all circumstances and my lack of caring about physical appearance on my having asperger's syndrome.

Don't tell me that saying that I have to have penetrative hetero sex and that it will hurt and that is both good and necessary, and that if I don't do these things my only other option is becoming a nun, is an opinion and that I clearly have a problem with others expressing differing views when I come to you desperate to have you support my sexual autonomy, that I have sex with myself and don't want to be penetrated, that I am not obliged to let somebody else enter my body. (technically the one who told me this was 27, but I'm 19 so I think this complaint is OK to put here).

Don't tell me that you're the one who gets in trouble if a born homosapien under 18 in your "care" gets in trouble, thus giving you the right to make all their decisions for them.

Don't lecture me on how women who don't want to be pregnant should keep their legs together, and it's not OK to have more than one abortion, or maybe not OK to have one at all, making me frightened of the way you'll treat me if I ever have an abortion (which, should I ever get pregnant, I most likely will).

Don't tell me that it's unsafe to visit a lesbian friendly bar because all the older women will try to come on to me, as if older men aren't just as likely to take advantage, or as if an older woman who is a lesbian couldn't be a source of support and friendship.

Don't tell me about how it's natural for adult men to want to sexually assault twelve year old girls, or that all those teenage boys in ancient Greece weren't being taken advantage of by the power imbalance with older tutors, or, otherwise suggest that sex between younger teenagers and adults isn't that bad.

Don't tell me that I don't know I'm born because I'm under 18 (I'm not anymore, but I was often told this) as if I have never experienced oppression, depression, acute shame about my body and sexuality, assault, bullying, a sleepless night, agonizing pain, as if I have been living in unending bliss for every moment since my birth.

Don't act as if my interest in anime is an indication of immaturity on my part, like I need to be aesthetically enlightened, as if it's all the same in outlook (of course the views of all those within an arbitrarily defined political boundary are homogenous!) or as if I don't know that like the media output of any country, it's chock full of bull.

Always knock before entering my room when I am in there alone, as I may be doing all sorts of wonderfully thrilling things that I'd rather you didn't see.

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You know, as a child, I thought some of you adults were so wonderful. I thought you were incredibly intelligent and interesting and beautiful. I wanted you to like me so much. I felt alone and you guys sure knew how to help a girl out.

Hey, Ms. 40 remember when you said you wanted to have sex with me when I was 13? I do. What the f*** were you thinking? Do you have any idea what a f***ing tailspin you put me in? How about Ms. 20, when I was 10--remember when you told me how hot I was and that you wanted to be my girlfriend? Mrs. 50- remember when I was 4 and you molested me? No? You were dissociated? Poor you. You can't remember? I do.

I can remember a lot. The middle school teacher taking me into a storage closet and telling me I was full of shit. The adult babysitter looking at me with sex in her eyes. The self-loathing I felt at every turn because I thought you guys must be hurting me so much because you couldn't see your effect on me. It was my fault. My strangeness. The opacity of my feelings. You know what, children aren't another species. It's not that hard to see when you're inspiring fear and pain. As an adult I can see that. When a child is abused it's obvious.

But there's a lot I can't remember. Can you tell me why I get overwhelmingly nauseous and scared at the thought of a certain sex act with women of a certain race? Do you want to let me in on where that little tic came from? Do you want to tell me why I have vague terrifying flashbacks to a certain adult's house?

I'm so tired of seeing your perspective. You have no idea the excruciating, self-obliterating contortions I had to put myself through to rationalize your behavior. You were abused too? No shit. You feel haunted and powerless and alone? Deal with it. Break the cycle. Stay completely away from children until you can respect them and not replay your trauma.

You know what I hear adults say? Children can be so cruel. That's the most perverted idea I've ever heard. You know why children hurt other children? BECAUSE THEY'RE ABUSED BY ADULTS. Children who are loved and have their boundaries honored, don't go around abusing other people. It's adults that are the problem. Adults who cause harm. Adults who don't protect children. Adults who convince children that they somehow have the power to stop their abusers, and the same adults who undermine children's power in every other respect. Because you know what happens when young people feel powerful and take care of themselves? They get the f*** away from you.

Adults talk constantly about how teenagers do stupid things because they want to fit in. You know what I see as I get older? Adults desperate to fit in. Adults who watch their friends yank their kid's arm and look the other way. Adults who, when another adult mocks a child, laugh along. Adults who, in order to fit in with their family, display the exact same cruelty to their children that they experienced as children.

They say 1 in 3 girls are sexually abused and 1 in 6 boys. I think that's a low estimate. I think it's a rare child who makes it to adulthood with zero sexual abuse, but even if those numbers are accurate: Adults, Don't you see something problematic about that? Don't you see this as pandemic? Something wrong with the entire f***ing culture? Abusive adults aren't some rare, mysterious breed. They're your siblings and parents and neighbors and friends and you. The amount of power adults have over children is incomprehensible. And the things you guys do with that power? I'm not going to let you get away with it.

without tenderness, we are in hell. -Adrienne Rich

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Executive Director & Founder
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(I just have to say that I love this thread SO, so very much. I LOVE seeing you all voicing your power, being so ferocious. My hat's off to you.)

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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I recognise that I've not been the easiest person to raise, but you haven't been the easiest person to be raised by either. When I told you I was being constantly harassed on the bus, and when my counsellor persuaded me to tell you I was suicidal, for some incomprehensible reason your reaction was to punish me. You actually shrieked at me over a paint chip on a two-bit museum souvenir - which I could maybe understand if it had been yours rather than mine. This year it got so bad it took me being cyberstalked to get us to have anything resembling a civilised conversation. I know you're doing the best you can, and most of the time you succeed, but that doesn't mean there haven't been plenty of times I wished we weren't related. Particularly since I recognise in you most of the things I hate about myself.

And now I feel like dirt for thinking that, but it has to come out somewhere and better here than to your face.

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This is an old thread. But adults still suck. So bombs away from me [Smile] oops it's long, sorry!

Stop being a hypocrite. Stop being so two-faced. Stop fricking JUDGING me.

You don't tell your 15 year old daughter that she's weak because she cries more than you did when you were young, and then say, when she gets angry (and starts to cry) that that's just proof of your point.

You don't constantly compare her to how you were at her age. Almost like it's some kind of standard to go by.

You don't tell her shit like this and then get all soppy and "aww, tell me what's wrong" when she's down. That just makes her unable to trust how you act towards her. You don't act one way and say something that completely contradicts it.

You don't smile and laugh in that "oh, what a silly billy!" kind of lighthearted way if I\she says or does something wrong in front of someone else, and then when she does something just as wrong when it's just you around, you fly off the handle.

Don't get all excited and be supportive of me when I talk about going into university/doing something you like and then completely IGNORE me if I mention that I've been thinking of taking physics as a minor. Sure, if you disapproved of it in some way -- like thought I wouldn't be able to support myself (it'd be the other way 'round if that were the case; you'd want me in physics instead of music), or something -- that's a bit more understandable, but you're just completely tuning me out because you don't LIKE physics. And you want me to like what YOU like.

Don't NAG me ALL the fricking time to play guitar. You know what? Music is my love. Stop taking that away from me by turning it into a chore. I've even explained how that makes me feel, and we agreed that, for ONE WEEK, you would not mention it. And yet, you did. Twice. In two days. WAY to give a shit.

And you're so pathetic. You're all "I support you in your love for music, I just want you to keep following your dream, that's why I nag you to play the guitar 8D" You know what my dream is? To be a SAX player. So wtf is your problem, nagging me to play guitar and not saying a word if I don't touch my sax for a week straight? Do you actually give a shit?

It's because YOU pay for my guitar lessons, and I pay for my sax lessons. And because my dad played/plays guitar. You just seem so desperate to make me follow in either of your footsteps. If I'm not doing something you do, it has to be something my dad does, hmm? What a load of bullshit. Gracious! You wonder why I've gone off guitar!

Don't whine at me, EVERY DAMN MEALTIME, that you've done all the cooking and "your father has been working all day". YES. I GET IT. I WILL CLEAR THE TABLE AND WASH ALL THE DISHES. THAT IS OKAY. JUST SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT IT, FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE. It's not like I complain about doing it or run off before you have time to ask me to help. I help. So just. shut. up.

You're angry all the time. And you know what? It just gets BORING. For ONCE, I'd like you to stop swearing when something little goes wrong, I'd like you to not have to find someone to blame for something broken or something not done right. You know what? SHIT HAPPENS. DEAL WITH IT. You're supposed to get old and wise, but you're just getting angrier and angrier as life progresses. Your anger is such a waste of TIME. It doesn't help, it's just a waste of energy and makes everyone ELSE get angry too, since you don't exactly avoid taking it out on people.

When I came back from my week in france with my two best friends, you said I was so much nicer and more polite. No shit. I'd just spent a week away from you. A week away from anger and constant "reminders" to do shit. And you know what? I didn't grind to a halt and stop functioning without nagging.

I was always up in time, always had a shower when I needed it, cleaned up my stuff, didn't lose anything (a miracle!) and no one needed to tell me to do any of that shit. (Not suprising, since I was 15 at the time, and now am 17; I CAN take care of myself). I spent the week with probably the calmest person I know, and you wonder why I was so much nicer for that while after.

Stop judging everyone else, too. Seeing ads on TV for a Timmy's cappuccino, saying "she doesn't really drink those, the skinny bitch", assuming everyone who uses the internet for anything more than email/some sort of research (including finding prom dresses, I dunno [you're the exception to every rule, apparently]) and are over the age of 25 are complete losers who still live in their parents basement, getting angry at bad drivers and being all "it's because they're from quebec"/"stupid cunt should get off the phone"/"what a wanker, all bmw drivers are such assholes" gets very, very annoying after a while.

I do not like you as a person. If you were anyone but my mum, I would not know you. You would not be my friend, no chance in hell. And it's funny, because you're what I guess would be considered a really rather good parent. And yet I'm so worried about becoming you, so worried about treating a kid like you treat me, warping their perception of themselves based on your almost bipolar feelings towards them. I'm so worried about being you and yet you're a 'good' parent.

And to all the adults in general, out there: For once, ALL of you should just shut your traps. That's right -- be QUIET. And maybe, in the silence you leave, you'll hear the voices of all of US.

We can DO what we dream of doing. We DO all have that potential, and don't limit us to what YOU want us to do -- to what YOU think SHOULD make us happy. If you let us do what WE WANT with our lives, you'll be amazed to see what we can do. Because we really CAN do anything.

And I really CAN do anything, too. I'm going to save the world. Aww, what a nice little dream. Pat on the head. Such ambitions. Screw you too, I AM going to save the world. I'm going to do everything in my power to do so. Because I CAN. Because I WANT to. And just because I'm sitting here right now, doing nothing (except getting a 90% average and thus a $10,000 scholarship, thank you) doesn't mean I never will do anything. No, it does not mean I am procrastinating. It means I realise I have all my life to do my bit for the universe, and that maybe I want my childhood to go a little slower.

Because you don't even know. I have so many ideas on how to save the world. I just never tell you because somehow wanting to help make the world a better place is a child's dream. I have SO many ideas. So many areas to focus on. And so much inspiration to keep me going with my causes. And yet I have nothing to show now, but that's because I don't know where to start. Or rather, I'm still figuring out how to start -- you'll see, I've got it sorted, I just need my supplies and then I can kick you all out of the water in the field of 'doing your part from humanity' -- and once I've started, there will be NO stopping me.

Once we have all started, there will be no stopping us.

We can do what we dream of doing, and you know what? That'd be better than having us do what you force us to do. Do you know why? Because everyone would love their jobs, everyone would be happy with where they are, because they'd be doing what THEY love. People would work more efficiently, people would be more inspired to go above and beyond -- to discover and to create things out of this world.

You're ruining it. Stop it. And shut up. Please, for once. Shhh.

Hear that sound?
That is our voices.


Posts: 1311 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Please, parents, get your OWN lives. Stop living through your children. Stop going to their sporting events, dance recitals, and band concerts with YOUR goals in mind, NOT theirs. Nothing makes me more angry than to be on the soccer field, a COLLEGE soccer field, where the players are all ADULTS, and have parents STILL telling their kids how they should play, arguing on their behalf when they know they can argue for themselves, and badmouthing other players because you're so damn insecure you can't let go of your children.

STOP telling me I need to experience more people before I settle down. Yes, I've only had on serious boyfriend, yes we've been dating for almost 3 years now, yes I'm 21, and guess what, I don't give a ****. Why can't you be happy that I'm in a loving, supportive, and perfectly imperfect relationship with someone who would never lay a hand on me, much less talk down to me? Why do I have to "experience others"? How does that make me more ready to see the world and find someone to really settle down with? What if I don't WANT to settle down? Why does everything with relationships have to be about quantity, when the focus SHOULD be on quality?

And for God's sake, I can vote. I can drink. I could buy cigarettes and porn if I really wanted to. Quit acting like I can't do anything. When I come to look at an apartment for rent, stop giving me the up and down while you ponder whether I could pay for an apartment because in your eyes, I'm still a kid. I'm NOT a kid. Age-wise, we're on the same playing field. Just because I belong to a younger generation DOES NOT mean I don't have a strong sense of self, morals, a damn good work ethic and the ability to make a choice. For your information, I CAN afford rent, and I CAN afford to care for myself. Whether that happens under your roof is a whole other ballgame.

Wow. That felt good.

(Onionpie, I have to say, you almost made me tear up. [Smile] )

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Posts: 3987 | From: Greater Burlington Area, Vermont | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Don't tell me and my depressed, tearful sister that we are spoiled brats that view our father as a walking cash machine on the basis that we don't spend all our time singing his praises and thanking him for being such a good dad in spite of all the crap he's done that screwed us up, and is a big part of why my sister's too down to think about things like father's day cards in the first place.

Don't throw a giant fit about me not wanting to eat a piece of non-fairtrade cake at a wedding, when you were the one that asked in the first place and I would have politely declined without saying anything at the wedding if you'd actually been willing to let me go without making me eat the cake, you made me choose between going to the wedding, not eating the cake and then being despised by you and not going to the wedding in order to not eat the cake and being despised by you... GREAT CHOICES!!! Almost like being asked to choose between listening to Radiohead and listening to Gnarls Barkley, or between a backrub and a foot massage!

Don't fail to discuss basic sexual things like masturbating being fine with me from a young age and then act surprised when I'm suddenly full of guilt about them at puberty, as if your lack of willingness to discuss it had nothing to do with it.

Don't tell me how hard your job is, constantly, even though there is absolutely nothing I can do about that and you are well aware of that fact, I was 14 and I had aspergers and I was really traumatised by all the bullying and you would act all put upon, I know it's hard and I care, but it's hard for me too, and you were somebody who could have found access to help and you dumped everything on me, I felt like I was a substitute for my mom in your life (and you didn't always treat mom well either).

Don't call me a slut. Ever. Under any circumstances.

Don't endlessly advance illogical arguments and then get angry at me after I yell when you, for the twelfth time, tell me that I have to do what you say because you're older, taking away my allowance and insisting that I be quiet for X amount of time, every time we have an argument, you take advantage of your (unacceptable) legal power over me to insist that I agree with you.

Don't tell me not to be bothered by abortion bans or other violations of bodily integrity rights because they don't affect me directly, Sorry I mean ZOMG sorry for caring about someone, you aren't even trying to make me less scared, you just want to trivialise the issue.

Don't insist on the sanctity of respecting others opinions whenever I talk about bodily integrity and not forcing religion on anybody, and about not using misogynist or homophobic insults.

Always knock before entering my room when I am in there alone, as I may be doing all sorts of wonderfully thrilling things that I'd rather you didn't see.

Posts: 840 | From: UK | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
The Unchosen One
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Wow this is... everything... Glad I found this thread!

98% of my life was spent indoors. I'm paying the heavy price of being very insecure around people and having difficulties coming forward to women. Thanks a lot dad, your 19 years of brainwashing me into believing that "I shouldn't look on women" and "be careful what you do around women cause they can cause bad things" really helped. I really wished you could step into my shoes for a day and just mentally take note how horribly messed up it is right now.

From the fact that you made me go through ONE MORE YEAR of doing a course that is the literal anti-matter of my very existence (I just want to know, why when It was time to get me signed up to that school in Florida you did NOTHING to help me? I know why. Again you are scared of letting me go.) to the fact that you divorced my mother and am now forcing me to get along with your wife,who I must say is a COMPLETE B** when it comes to me.

Holy God crap woman i swear one day you are going to get it! When, for the love of all thing holy, symmetrical and clean would you, while cleaning the house for guests put my belongings (which were out of the way f.y.i.) ON THE STUPID FLOOR! I mean seriously woman was there no other surface in entire the house that you could have put my things? No. Of course not. That would make too much sense. You want me to see my things and take them down to my room in the basement while i'm at it right? Then for heavens sake put my things in a chair or something and I will gladly move them.

Oh and if you don't mind could you sing a little quieter, please, seriously, I don't know how my dad even has the thought of having sex with you. Do you think that for a minute you had me fooled as to the plan you had for taking over my family and leaving ME out of it? Huh? [edit] (that goes for you too dad, more on that in a minute) You come into my dad and myself's relationship and you think it's just smooth sailing from there? No! You're probably wandering why i'm ignoring you, rite even to this day I still don't even dare look into you depraved eyes. From the start I know exactly what you both wanted and that was QUICK SEX. yeah I said it. You, dad and you stepb** just wanted the lonely days to stop and so in no time you got married and on top of it you bring this overly emotional 9yo into the picture?

And let me try and get this, you have two children within the space of three years and now look at you, trying to find money to buy good food at the supermarket! Can't we buy more than bread, biscuits, chicken, rice, cheese and juice concentrate!

What were you you thinkin, dad? You just spent close to your last dollar trying to keep me in the university that I HATE and now you have a 16yo daughter who will be looking at collage in two years! not to mention the 3 and 1yo that you have running up and down the million dollar home you live in (btw you haven't filled my prescription in three weeks for my ADD which is a US$100 a pop)... i'm sorry is it just me or is something painfully obvious that we are spending VERY CLOSE to our limit? Maybe you should drive the BMW down to the bank to make sure...

Did i forget that the argument we had the other day was the first time I was so scared of you? The way how you screamed in face? The way how you shoved me down into my basement at which point I just stayed there and cried my heart out. You still don't believe you have an anger problem dad? You still believe that I am YOUR anger problem?

You should be grateful that I had the strength to not kill myself that night when I was nine. You wouldn't have even known because I wouldn't have made a sound also it would have been forever till you got curious enough to check up on me, by that time I would have been long dead. I thought it out, I planned it.. but I just didn't. Maybe I should have though... now that I think of it, maybe I should have ran that knife right through my heart and broiled in my own blood of hatred. Things would be so much happier for you and you three precious little daughters that you're so fond of. I notice. I'm not dumb. You like them ALL more than me, you can tell me from now until the moon stops shining that you love me but I see the look in your eyes when your playing around with them. The look of "Someday my daughters will be SOMEBODY".

You remember I said I was insecure and not good around women? Let me explain. Ever since I can remember whenever I saw a quality (be it there way of speech or watever) in somebody that was getting them attention I would copy it. Plain and simple I remember there was this kid Wayne that EVERYBODY knew cuz he had this REALLY distinctive way of speaking. I copied it. To the tee. Still none liked me so, this way of speaking in hand, the thoughts of combining bits and pieces of the best of people would make me into the most lovable person in the world has to this day been an utter failure. I'm sorry dad that only 1(one) person in elementary school had the guts to be my friend and that after that there was nobody else in this world that would accept me. I'm sorry that for the first time in my life that I actually have to be responsible for myself because all this time for um-teen years you have been sheltering and protecting me like a six-year old and not actually doing your part as a parent to raise me as a child that will grow up to become a functioning or exceeding part of society you say that you have problems letting me go because I exhibit examples of me being reckless with my life like waking up late every morning.

Good God dad I wake up late every morning because like always I can depend on you to wake me up when I oversleep! What do you expect!

You know what? I don't care... cuz that doesn't erase that pain iv'e been suffering these past couple years. I'm starting to try and make some money online and when I can support myself i'm flying away to never come back.

Hope the daughters you have are less proud and more grateful than I am.

BTW Don't talk to me as if you want to be my friend, you had that chance YEARS AGO when I was younger.

I'm 19, get a life or help me with mine for once.

[Edited for language]

[ 04-13-2009, 10:29 AM: Message edited by: Stephanie_1 ]

Posts: 4 | From: A little island in the Caribbean | Registered: Apr 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
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Just a note on this thread: The subject of this thread is something that is very sensitive, and for many a source of pain. Please remember though, posters reading these threads are affected by some of the same things, and also by the way in which we express our hurt. The words we choose, or the phrases we express can be, at times, hurtful to others - so please feel free to express your feelings and experiences here, but remember the user agreements agreed to when beginning at this site, as they are set-up as a way to help all users to feel safe and welcome here. Thanks.

[ 04-13-2009, 10:45 AM: Message edited by: Stephanie_1 ]

"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

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To a whole range of people :

I am not a freak. You called me that once, remember? I was depressed and you were completely unsympathetic. You are my mother, you're supposed to love me and nurture me and if you see that there's something wrong, you're supposed to try to fix it. Threatening me with things like the psychologist, making this completley healthy process of therapy sound like its a terrible thing that I somehow "deserve" because I'm being bad, is not a good way to act.

You said I would be an alcoholic like you. I'm not. It's stayed with me, so thanks for that.

I am an atheist. Get over it.

Don't act like because I'm doing a double major in French and International Studies, I won't get a job after college. Don't tell me that because I'm not majoring in business, I'm doomed. You didn't even go to college. Screw you.

Stop trying to change me to fit your mold of what a person should be. I am my own person, thank you.

[ 04-20-2009, 01:02 AM: Message edited by: twisted_logic ]

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Another Agenda
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I'm 19, so I should be considered like an adult, right? NO. Am I allowed to go to the mall by myself? NO, because I might get 'raped.' (Not true, and not funny). Add other silly things like that, and you wonder why I'm scared when I go places alone, and why I'm scared to travel abroad when you keep telling me that because I'm a girl and your only daughter, that I'm bound to come to some harm. You wonder why I'm so anxious all the time when you repeatedly tell me all the ways I could freakishly die, disappear, or get hurt? Wow.

Mom, Dad, BIPOLAR DISORDER IS NOT A PHASE. It is a lifelong and chronic condition. You know what living with mental illness feels like, Mom, and you know that your depression sometimes 'comes back.' It's not something that just 'goes away,' it's not 'hormones' from my Pill (my moods were like this BEFORE and you know it), it's not just 'being in college'/'being a teenager.'

To all the sales associates in all the stores out there: I AM A CONSUMER. Doesn't matter whether it's Daddy's money or my money, I'm willing to spend it. So stop ignoring me, treating me like I don't know what I want, preferring older people (in their 30s and 40s) to helping me, etc.

Same goes for school administrators. YOU'RE HERE TO HELP ME; I'M A STUDENT. You don't get to ignore me just because I'm not an alumna and don't give money back to the school. At the rate I'm treated, you'll be lucky if I choose to give back to this institution.

Also, to all the adults who look at my double major and think 'oh, she's going nowhere' (which includes people my age!): I'm planning to go to law school to specialize in intellectual property law, AND I'm doing it with majors I enjoy. And what do you do plan to do after graduation? ... That's what I thought. To the employers: DON'T JUDGE ME ON MY MAJOR. You probably majored in comparative literature or Slavic studies or something weirder than philosophy/English, but just because I'm an "arts and crafts" major (nice. really nice.) doesn't mean that I'm not intelligent, that I don't have creative thinking skills, or that I can't work for you.

To the jaded ones: My boyfriend and I are getting married. We've known that since we were seventeen- that's two years now. Don't be surprised when we surpass all your expectations for us and have a successful 70-year marriage. And don't be surprised at young love; it still exists.

Another Agenda= Another, uh, Jen.

"The difficult we do immediately. The impossible takes a little longer."

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Bun Bun
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Wow, Dad, you really blew away my expectations today. So much for being a "liberal" huh. Newsflash, bucko: You call one of my friends a slut one more time, and I swear to GOD I will NEVER speak to you again. So someone who has sex is a slut? Thanks dad, I'm a ******* slut. You know, the one word that ruined my life in elementary school because everyone called me one even though I'd never so much as kissed a boy? Yeah, that's the word.

So I'm sleeping with a man I love, and have loved and been with for two and a half years now. We're planning to spend the rest of our lives together- so I'm a slut for that?

Oh, and it's wonderful to see how you don't even argue with my 15 year old brother who has decided that "women want to be controlled". You agree, and say that it's the way things have always been and how they're supposed to be. I can't even begin to tell you how much that DISGUSTS me.

And Mom, you just sit back and don't say a word. Do you agree with this bullshit? You and Dad both know that I'm sexually active but you can just sit there as he says these horrible things about women and indirectly about your only daughter? Can't you see how it's breaking my heart? Can't you see that I'm EMBARASSED to have come from you!?

I'm so mad that I'm crying. I haven't been this mad in a long time. I have no idea how I'm going to spend my night knowing that just down the hall are people that I hate.

Yeah, I hate you right now. I hate everything you believe in that I honestly thought you'd never believe. You downright disgust me.

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Dear mom,
Thanks for every day since I graduated highschool to remind me that I need you to pass college.
Thanks for stealing my car keys because if I am not locked down on campus I'll be too stupid to study.
BTW YOU NEVER HELPED ME PASS HIGHSCHOOL! You were too busy working to go on your next shopping spree or buy all new camera.s And, I did just fine and got into the college of my dreams.

Sincerely thanks to my dad, who did help me with my homework when I asked and was actually at home to help.

That is life, LaVie

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Dear stepmom,

Thank you so damn much for passing on your hatred to your delinquent son. I'm glad he finally gets to learn that homosexuality is "wrong" and should be "abolished," and you still have the balls to look my mother in the eye and say hello. If only she knew what you were, stepmother, she would never walk through that front door again. My mother worked damn hard to reach an equilibrium in her life where she no longer hates herself for her sexuality and she enjoys her life with her female partner. I'm glad you think that's disgusting, and I'm glad you'd rather tell your son that it's okay to hate people for something they can't control instead of actually parenting him.

One day, he'll come home high as a kite and you won't know what to do but pray to God and blame the homosexual agenda for poisoning your son. Newsflash: society didn't poison that boy. You did.

[ 08-01-2009, 09:59 PM: Message edited by: forspecial ]

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(Great idea, Heather!)

To Foster home #3

I may have been only six, but then again, I was way beyond my years at six. I knew who my parents were. And they weren't you two. I knew my parents were dead. I wasn't looking for a replacement. I was only looking for a home.

Forcing me to call you Mum and Dad? Get real. I saw the disappointed look you gave me when I didn't. Guilt tripping little kids into calling you their parents is not the way to go. Those titles were reserved for my parents, and they weren't there. I wasn't going to use those titles for two complete strangers whose home I had the worst stay in.


I hated the violin, piano, and countless other lessons you wasted your money on for me, even after I told you how much I disliked it after the first lessons. I absolutely hated it when you would reply "don't be silly, Erica. Don't you want to be good at everything? Now, come and give Mummy a big kiss."

I knew what I loved to do. I loved to sing and dance. I asked for lesson in both and am disgusted with your answer. "Oh no, dear, only lesbians do that." At the time, I didn't know what a lesbian was, but the way you said it made it sound like the worst thing in the world so I didn't ask anymore after that.

I remember when I was 7, and I had to do a family tree. Oh, how I remember it. I was NOT asking for YOUR family history. I was asking for MINE. It was the most humiliating day of my life that day when I handed in my tree (filled with YOUR family history) and the teacher pulling me aside and questioning me about it when she KNEW I was fostered. The tears formed when she suggested that I should maybe do the assignment again. Doesn't sound familiar, huh? Well, maybe that's cause I never told you. I told my social worker who rang my aunt and uncle who helped me with it.

All I can say to you now is: you have no idea how much I hated living with you. And I know my other two foster sibs felt the same way. The day you left the iron on and the whole place burnt down was the happiest day of our lives. We got to leave you. I went on to live with the best foster parents ever after you.

To foster home #5

I didn't know what a period was. I didn't know why my body was changing. I didn't know why my favourite foster mother had just died. I didn't know if God existed, or if she was just buried in the ground. I didn't know if she was in the same place my parents were. I was only 12, a time in my life when I most needed some guidance, understanding and all that other jazz.

Keeping your distance and treating me like the plague was NOT the way to go. You made me feel so unloved, so worthless, sometimes I even contemplated whether number 3 was better. But at least you kept your opinions to yourselves, unlike number 3, who kept voicing her nasty, hurtful and unwanted opinions about everyone and everything, even little girls my age. But that was the only reason I was glad for your silence.

There was a lot I wanted to know, including what a lesbian was, since at the time I thought I was one because I loved to sing and dance. But no, you just left me on my own all of the time, only talking to me when it was absolutely necessary. A lot of the time I was talk to my stuffed toys, because you made it perfectly clear that you didn't want me to talk to you about anything.

Remember that day, all those years ago, when I finally couldn't take it anymore? I think that was the day you realised that I wasn't an alien life force.

It was good for a little while, I admit that. But then you changed. What did I, a quiet little thirteen year old, do to you that was so horrible that drove you to have an affair on your husband, and to start drinking more than you usually did?

For the record: I wasn't the horrible little beast that you thought I was. Those times where things would turn up broken, or lost: Not my fault, even after the million times I told you. Even when my other foster sibling confessed, you still thought it was me. Remember the times that you would call me a liar and an attention seeker? Some you might not, seeing as you were drunk a couple of the times where you would deliberately pick a fight.

July 27th. You knew how much this day means to me. It would be my parents anniversary. You knew how much I didn't want to go to school on this day. But did you care?

I don't know why you were so surprised and angry that I ditched that day. Its not like I ditched just to spite you and do drugs and alcohol, like a few kids in my year did, even at the age of 14.

All I did was sit by my parents graves that day. Did you even bother to listen to my explanation? Short answer: No, you didn't. It was pretty obvious you didn't believe me, and once again called me a liar, attention seeker, drama queen, and other words which would be against the rules to write here. But the worst part? You destroyed any little inkling of a good relationship we ever had in the beginning. You always went on about me keeping things to myself, and never talking to you about anything, well take a look in the mirror, and you'll see why.

Last month, I went through something traumatic. You knew something was up. I got fed up listening to the "why-don't-you-ever-talk-to-me-where-did-I-go-wrong" one night. I fought back and obviously that did not go down with you because you called my social worker first thing the next morning.

You know what? I'm glad you did. I'm now staying in a place which is a good fit for ME, where I'm starting to feel a little more like my old self, despite everything I'm still going through. I'm certain that this is the place I'll be staying at until I turn 18, three years away, and you know what? I could never say that about either of your homes.

I feel sorry for the kids you're fostering. Some may not be as lucky as me.

(That felt good. Sorry its so long!)

Posts: 84 | From: Australia | Registered: Jul 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Dad, please don't do things like booking first class train tickets for me even though I've told you I'll happily travel standard class and then act as if I'm a burden who you have to spend all your money on, I hate when something goes not quite your way or somebody makes any small amount of noise and you grimace and try to look as put upon as possible, well excuse me for not being seen and not heard, you're like one of those people in restaurants who complain when there are born homosapiens under 18 there happily sitting and eating and laughing and joking with their families and friends and act as if the born homosapiens under 18 were inherently more annoying than adult born homosapiens doing the exact same thing just because they're under 18. Every time I bring up feminist issues you tell me how you didn't do the thing I don't like, I didn't say you did, I was telling you because you are in my life and as such I share things with you that are important to me like women's equality with men, though maybe I should just stop talking to you altogether.

Older adults, don't refer to my sexuality as "just hormones" it is a part of me, it is mine, it is bliss on earth and I won't let you take it from me, and I will do what I can to make sure you don't take it from anyone else I can help.

Always knock before entering my room when I am in there alone, as I may be doing all sorts of wonderfully thrilling things that I'd rather you didn't see.

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Don't yell at me that I can't leave the house until I've eaten some meat, for protein, with the excuse that you just want me to be healthy and not weak and fall down and faint. I can choose to be vegetarian if I want, even if you want your beef.

Don't call me by my baby nickname, especially in front of my friends. I know you don't realize it, but I do, and they do, and it's not funny at all. I'm an adult now, far away from a baby.

Don't tell me I won't be with my boyfriend forever. Don't make up names for the man I'll eventually be with. I'm not saying I'm with him now. I'm saying, don't assume that I'm not, cause I just might be.

Don't belittle my accomplishments. If I allow myself a piece of pie because I've been especially healthy lately, don't say, "Ooh, pie! Pure fat!" as if it's a nice thought. Let me enjoy what I want to enjoy.

Don't go through my stuff. Don't look in my backpack for homework because you think I'm lying when I say I don't have any (that was a long time ago, but still).

When I try on something I like, and you know I really like it, don't look at me like I'm wearing a cheap suit. Support my happiness.

Don't tell me when to sleep, or when to eat, or how to wear my hair. Don't pat my head like I'm a little kid or a pet. Treat me like another human being, not your possession.

Don't tell me who my friends are. Just because you fight with someone because they are and think differently than you, don't tell me I shouldn't associate with them. Recognize that people are different and we can still get along.

Don't force any lifestyle on your children. Don't tell them, "If you want to live with this boy, you can either do it the right way or you can go live with him without getting married, but don't ask me for anything ever again and whatever you don't take with you I'm throwing away." What a way to squash someone's dream.

Don't tell me I can't do something I want to accomplish.

Don't yell at me to do chores, or do them for me when I say I will and then complain. Don't do things I hate on purpose and then laugh. Don't be cruel and think it's funny.

Don't act dumb when you learn something you didn't want to know. You express your concern for something I did, and then pretend it never happened. Ignore the problem and it will go away, I suppose.

None of these are nearly anything like some things posted here, but they still make me angry. My best wishes to all of you.

Posts: 87 | From: USA | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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You're not saints. You're the furtherest thing from saints.

You drink every night, and when you're drunk which is a majority of the week, don't try and tell me that you're 'tired', just don't. You're insulting my intelligence because you and I both know that its bull.

You smoke more than a pack a day. We'd be able to afford going on holiday or any of the stuff you whine and moan about not being able to afford if you'd just quit smoking and cut back your alcohol.

Your smoking is selfish. Me and my brothers would go to school smelling like smoke, and I can't tell you how many times I was asked if I, myself was a smoker. It was so humiliating, but of course neither of you cared. You tried to smoke just outside, or just in your room, but guess how long that lasted? 1 day.

Yes, I know that my little brother isn't the sharpest tool in the shed. But you break him down. You call him a moron, an idiot, an imbosile, dumb. Then you actually have the nerve to yell at us and tell us that we call him stupid, when we never do. That's all your work.

Telling your only daughter that the yellow stripes make her thighs look big, that she shouldn't wear those shorts out in public, that she needs to lose weight even if she's thinner than most of the girls in her class? You're the one that gave me self esteem issues. You see these cuts on my arm? They're a little faded, it was a while ago, but it was because of you. I thought that I was the most fat and ugly thing on the planet, because of you.

Why couldn't you just keep your opinions to yourself? I did NOT want to hear about what you thought about every single little thing. NO ONE is perfect, you of all people should know that.

So I make one mistake, okay I'll admit a pretty big one, and you have the nerve to kick me out after all the things you've done?

I don't see it as a mistake anymore. I'm pregnant, Mother. With your grandchild. I may be having a few health problems, but I'm doing okay. I'm staying at your sister's, yes, the one you hate and haven't spoken to in years. She's more of a mother to me than you ever were.

Now, I've only got one thing to say: Thank you for showing me how NOT to parent a child.

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Oh dearest sister of mine, why do you torment me so? I know I'm sixteen and you're thirteen, but what makes you say you're more mature, and by mature you mean "act like a stereotypical spoiled brat teenager"?

When I was eight and you were five, you could pick me up. You weren't fat per say, but I was only 2/3 of your body weight and just about anyone could pick me up and carry me. When I hit my last growth spurt (I'm done- 5'7" and only 110 lbs) you started catching up to me in height.

You are bigger than me, even though you are thirteen and I am your big sister, and you use me as a human punching bag. So do your friends. Did it make you feel good, physically abusing me outside of school just to show off to your friends? How about the day before I underwent jaw surgery to correct my severe overbite, when you had a cold and spat in my face just because I was talking to you?

When I express interest in my own sexuality, even though I've never had a boyfriend or a girlfriend, you call me names? You're the one with that ******* Edward Cullen poster and the fangirl crushes on male celebrities older than our parents.

Okay, so I do retaliate some. But none of my stuff is physical harm. I jokingly duck into the bathroom as you're taking a shower, and yell Monty Python quotes. You tell me this makes me a lesbian and a pedophile (I see nothing wrong with being a lesbian, I'm just not sure of my orientation just yet). If we go to the store, and I accidentally so much as bump you accidentally, you scream "QUIT TOUCHING ME!" or "CHILD MOLESTER!". In public.

I've been thinking lately of getting condoms, just in case I find someone I want to use them with. Mom's actually offered to buy me some, because she understands me and we've had a number of good chats on everything from dildos to the c-section that brought me into this world. The only reason I've refused is you, dear sister. If you found anything in my room (even the Scarleteen S.E.X. book mom got me) you and all your friends and our Catholic grandmother would know within a day and your friends would never let me forget that I'm a "slut".

Oh, and your friends. You spend all week with them, and dad doesn't even get to see you when he has custody. And then, once you've blown your chance to go to dad's and do fun stuff, you come home complaining about how your friends are insensitive and abusive jerks, and scream and sob about how much you hate them. A few days later, all is forgiven, and you're back over there for days at a time.

I don't like it when you call me "stupid" or "retarded" or "perverted", especially not in front of my friends. And most definitely not when we are at our grandparent's house. Grandma already thinks I'm strange for being a vegetarian artist who doesn't like church or excessive playing of that "Appalachian Christmas Time!" CD.

And while I'm on the subject of my grandmother, while I know we've talked this out in person, I still feel the need to vent:
DEAR GRANDMA: I DO NOT HAVE ASPERGERS SYNDROME, I'VE HAD A PROFESSIONAL EVALUATE ME ON THIS, YOU HAVE MORE OF THE SYMPTOMS THAN I DO, AND IT IS NOT OKAY TO HAVE TOLD THE ORGANIZER OF THAT MATH CAMP YOU SO DESPERATELY WANTED ME TO GO TO THAT I HAD ASPERGERS AND ALSO DETAILED MY JUVENILE ARTHRITIS AND SCOLIOSIS WITHOUT CONSULTING ME OR MY PARENTS. fine, I do have scoliosis, I've had arthritis when I was little but it's been gone for a decade. I've backpacked a total of fifty miles this past year, so obviously none of that has affected my ability to haul my skinny *** up one of the steepest mountains in the state.

Yes grandma, I tanned the hide of a roadkill deer that my art teacher provided at my tanning class. No, this does not mean that I'll eat your factory-raised questionable meat products. Also, please tell me if you put Kahlua in the stuff you're serving me. I can't stand the taste of alcohol, even if it's been "cooked out".

Also, about last summer, when you took me to the beach while I was on my period (before I felt comfortable with tampons), and then complained that I didn't swim the whole time we were there. So you took us home early. The day my period ended. And then were so annoyed that you didn't gas up and we were stranded on the interstate in August waiting for AAA.

You haven't had a period since my Uncle Jeff was born nearly forty years ago. You don't understand why I don't want to walk around in the hot sunshine for hours on the first day of my period (which is something you've often made me do, sometimes without access to things like Advil). My sister and I almost passed out in a greenhouse at a botanical garden, and you didn't even notice. Just kept walking.

I feel so incredibly... relieved after typing this. Sorry if it's a bit long.

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Adults: Your desire to impart your ignorance to me is not equal to or better than my right to not be filled with ignorance, if you didn't take the attitude that you can teach me whatever racist, sexist, homophobic, ableist, erotophobic, religious LIES you want, then I would not be a tenth as miserable now as I am, you never hold yourself accountable for the damage you do, I actually had somebody tell me that it's immoral to restrict what parents can teach their children today... and this was in response to me saying that white supremacy should not be taught, that somebody who is not, generally, conservative in attitude can say such things, this is what makes me consider self harm, because I remember being under 18, the declaration of human rights states that our parents have the right to decide what and where we learn, how can anybody who considers those under 18 to be equals think that anything other than an outrage, that not only means parents can spew this stuff, but they can send someone to a school that teaches it too, they can make it very difficult for them to have access to any other views. I pretty much hate the majority of adults who aren't me sometimes, because they endlessly work to destroy the me who existed prior to my 18th birthday. If you're going to argue some nonsense about the home as private sanctum, don't. If somebody is bigoted or harasses me at work I can file a complaint and though this won't always result in anything actually being done (and there is prejudice in the courts), the legal recognition is there. The home you live in? Is the home of any born homosapien under 18 who lives there too, they aren't your guest, and I bet you wouldn't even treat an adult guest the way you do them.

Always knock before entering my room when I am in there alone, as I may be doing all sorts of wonderfully thrilling things that I'd rather you didn't see.

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Don't call me a sociopath because I'm crying that maybe I am a sociopath in the middle of an anxiety attack and extreme depression late at night and I woke you up, don't tell me off for laughing in my room too loud WHEN I WAS ACTUALLY CRYING FOR HOURS. Don't look disgusted when I'm playing happily with the dog and I make noises to express my delight. Don't presume that just because I'm not always dressed in black and grey and crying and curled up in a ball that means I'm not very, very unhappy much of the time, like my life must be so easy if I'm not careful to make sure you never see me feel good or laugh or be in a good mood.

Always knock before entering my room when I am in there alone, as I may be doing all sorts of wonderfully thrilling things that I'd rather you didn't see.

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"Don't presume that just because I'm not always dressed in black and grey and crying and curled up in a ball that means I'm not very, very unhappy much of the time, like my life must be so easy if I'm not careful to make sure you never see me feel good or laugh or be in a good mood."

Jill, that resonates so much with me *hug*. It's infuriating how depressed, mentally ill or physically impaired people must always look the epitome of misery in order for them to be entitled to _______ (insert "not work like the rest of us", "refuse to cheer up and get on with life", "not having to take the bad with the good" etc etc etc.)

Cause it's not like, you know, if people were entirely devoid of any source of entertainment or joy they'd die or be pretty much dead. Naaaah.

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If I got hugs in real life as often as I do on here from beings other than cats it would be nice, but virtual hugs are still pretty gosh darn cuddly, so long as you don't actually try and hug the hard plastic of the computer with it's acute angle edges and... actually I'm feeling quite tired now so I'll leave my faux traumatised description of attempting to hug a computer until the day after tomorry (that was deliberate, Homer Simpson says it).

Hugs for everyone on here, may your animals lick, sun and otherwise groom and pamper themselves in revelry.

Always knock before entering my room when I am in there alone, as I may be doing all sorts of wonderfully thrilling things that I'd rather you didn't see.

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moonlight bouncing off water
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So I try to bring up how unfair things are to you in a calm manner and you explode at me? Katie and I get blamed for everything! Granted it is sometimes our fault, but it is your's too. We get blamed for everything that goes wrong in this house just because we aren't adults. You don't care about "trivial things", well this isn't trivial to me, do you even care about me! A good roof over my head, good food in my stomach and you would defend me to the death. I love you mom and dad, but that doesn't make you perfect. Just because I'm not an adult doesn't mean I always screw up. So what? I can't sign my own legal documents, I must therefore be incompetent? I can't drive, oh so I'm the one who made that mess? I can't drink, well then I'm the culprit for missing phone?

It's ridiculous!!! So, okay maybe you don't get you are being unfair, I'll talk to you then. Nope, you don't care! Who does? I DO!!!!!!!!!! This is important to me, so it should matter to you. I left crying now I'm sitting tapping out my frustrations for thousands of strangers to read. They will see my message, they will listen. You never do, I always try to talk to you mom, it always ends in a fight. You are part of that fight too, but I'm the only one ever sent to my room for what transpires in our fight.

I just want you to get it, to see that just because you're older doesn't mean you're perfect. You say you have "real problems to worry about", that I'm "just bored so I'm creating a problem"! This is real to me mom, I'm not bored, I'm sad at a loss. Do you really think I would spend all those hours with you trying to fix our fights and we always end up with a new one?

Come on mom, I love you but you aren't always fair. I may not be 46 but I have lived. I'll be 15 in two weeks for goodness sake, why doesn't that matter? Three year olds can articulate themselves they have emotions, I remember being one and a half and thinking clearly. I've been around for 15 years, I don't know everything, but neither do you. Give me a chance, you always say I'm so mature, start acting like it.

You don't like the way I act, well you can say whatever you want, but ultimately I'm the one in the wrong, A FIGHT HAS TWO SIDES!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't get it mom, I don't get you.

Edited to add:

Oh yeah dad, you think you are accepting I thought you were that's why I came out to you, but what now I need to hide it? To pretend I'm not bisexual? You left me alone in the house with Jeremy, we were even in my bedroom, I'm not stupid, we never did anything! But what I'm bisexual so sleepovers are now sex parties or something? She's STRAIGHT that means she doesn't like girls, besides I don't like her. But even if she were my girlfriend we are capable of having a sleepover. Besides, if I want to have sex I'll have it! I don't, I'm not ready, I never even had a boyfriend or a girlfriend, but does that even matter? It was so hard to come out to you guys, now mom (I think) still realizes I'm bi, she doesn't say stupid stuff like when it comes to BOYS and dating. She instead talks about how one day I will meet a wonderful PERSON. Not guy, not man, PERSON! I might fall in love with a girl you know.

The only reason I didn't figure it out sooner is because you guys never even told me bisexuality existed! I thought being a lesbian meant being the butch stereotype! Thank for clearing up that misconception. OH and by the way, I might be a lesbian, because I don't notice the guys that much. I won't say anything again until I move out, or until I am serious with a girl.

But honestly can't you trust me?

[ 11-21-2009, 09:37 AM: Message edited by: moonlight bouncing off water ]


I am ME and that is the only label I need.

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This may be an old thread but after reading a couple responses I wish to add my own 2 cents,

You are a selfish bastard.

I can't stand coming home everyday from college, worrying, what did I do wrong this time, what are you going to yell at me for, and still worry about doing my homework on time.

I hate doing your goddamn chores. You sit on your ******* *** and watch tv as SOON as you get home at 3pm. You complain how I sit in my room all day on the computer, that I do nothing, that I should get out. WELL. I go to college 8 hours a day. That's already a normal work day and is JUST as hard as one. While you're done after that, I come home and guess what I do? I do MORE WORK. I work WELL over 8 hours a day and you sit on your ******* *** doing nothing, yelling at me for what I do wrong everyday, yelling at me for sitting in my room all day, ranting and raving about EVERY TOPIC you ever start with me. I can't say a goddamn thing to you, because I know, even if I mention the word cat you would turn it into some big ******* rant about how you hate mexicans. ITS ALWAYS ABOUT THE MEXICANS, oh my god they cause EVERYTHING BAD TO EVER HAPPEN TO YOU, don't they?! NO, they DON'T.

I'm tired of your sexist BS. I'm so sick of it, just cause I'm a girl doesn't make me inferior to you. I set my own ******* goals, I got into my college without your help, I do my homework on time, all the time, I ******* WIN AT LIFE and you have the goddamn balls to put me down all the damn time and act like I'm NOTHING.

You're the dumbest piece of shit I've ever known and I can't STAND it. You can't even spell the word 'not' right, you spell it 'knott' who the **** does that.

AND STOP TALKING BAD ABOUT MY DOG. He didn't do SHIT to you and you're pissed at him cause he what? SCRATCHED YOUR CAR. you can't even ******* SEE the scratches, oh NO. But whos fault was that? Certainly not the dogs, because I TOLD YOU something bad would happen leaving the dog in the garage during THE FOURTH OF JULY. I WONDER what would happen dad? YOU BEING A DUMBASS, THATS WHAT. I swear to god when I leave for 2 weeks and visit my mother, if you so much as forget to feed my dog or even LET him out to get hit by a car I will never come home. I'm moving out without seeing you ever again. **** you.

I've said this before but it really ******* stresses me out. STOP GETTING MAD AT EVERYTHING I ******* DO. I left the door open for 2 seconds, OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY STOP YELLING AT ME. I'm so tired of coming home being so ******* stressed. No wonder I have headaches everyday! every ******* DAY I have huge ******* pressure headaches and I wonder why that is, YOU!

And I swear to god I can't say anything against you. You've really taught me well on not to disobey you, good ******* job slamming me against the wall when I was 9 years old to scream in my face about having an attitude. Now I'm scared shitless of you regardless that I'm 18 and can legally make my own decisions. OH and did I mention, ITS NOT AN ATTITUDE, it's called emotions. SORRY.

OH and I can go out and hang with my friends all I ******* want. You tell me I should get out more, well I TRY, you just get pissy when I ASK TO when I'm EIGHTEEN. If I mention one guy name you automatically assumed I'm going to be raped, pillaged, and plundered on the spot AS SOON as they pick me up. Well they're not, sorry to burst your bubble but you;d like they wouldn't you. Cause then you'd be right. BUT YOU NEVER ARE.

Oh and by the way, NOT EVERYTHING IS MY FAULT.

This thread was a good idea, thank you.

Edit: Lol I love the censoring it's hilarious haha. I'm sorry I'm so cussy, it's the topic, I blame that. lol

[ 12-10-2009, 01:41 AM: Message edited by: Dice ]

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Okay i have to say that i LOVE this forum about venting. i think it really helps when ur in a situation that either stresses you out to the max or you have no one to turn to. But i go!
Dear Mom: i have always looked up to you. you were a straight A student when you were younger and are brilliant and i love you. BUT! i am not you. plain and simple. i know you gave up so much in my childhood for me and that to this day you do so much for me that i dont even notice sometimes. BUT AGAIN! i never asked you to do any of that. you did all of those things because you wanted to make me happy. You knew i would screw up, im a teen for gosh sakes. I am capable of making decisions withou you and you need to learn to respect that. im not an idiot i have a 4.0 in college for cryin out loud! you have manipulated me and guilted me into doing so many things that im sick of it! i wont let you bully me around anymore! you have taught me to make well thought out decisions and thats what i did. now back the hell off!!! i love you but i will never forget how you made me so afraid of you that i couldnt openly talk to you about personal things.
Dear Dad: you are an epic failure at making your own child feel at ease with herself. It is because of you that i lowered my standards in school it is because of you that i never thought i could go to med school because i was too stupid. (your words exactly) your mother (my gma) is a royal *itch with a capital effing B!!!! she wouldnt even spend a dollar on me for freakin gum! and you think i should be nicer to the old hag?? hahahah!!! in your dreams!!
Dear Parents Altogether: f-off!! i know i get nice things but they are well deserved. i'm smart, i'm sweet spirited, i work hard, and i'm human! i'm bound to screw up,duh. and as your job as a parent your supposed to help me learn from my mistakes not scare the livin shiz outta me so that i never talk to you about personal things! you were a kid once too. except for you mom you were like some perfect freak of nature apparently (oh by the way if you were so perfect my am i so messed up?? jus wondering!) but dad! you were the rebel of your family, you know what im going thru yet you do nothing! no advice no kind words, wft!!? basically if i hadnt made the decisons i made then i would not be here venting, i would be six feet under. so! back the F! off and let me live my life! not yours! mine! thats rite i'm not the perfect you mom. and no im not goin to hell daddy for doin the same things you did. Give me my privacy and no one will get their feelings hurt! no one will feel bad at the end of the day if you jus give me my space im an adult damn it! oh! and being 18 does mean something you jerks! its a milestone in a young persons life where if we screw up we're on our own! so yes it does mean something and you should acknowledge it damn it!!!

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hello mum and dad. please stop telling people i have a small 'stress problem'. its called SOCIAL ANXIETY DISORDER. is it so hard for you to accept that your daughter is a little different from everyone else???

i can barely answer the phone without feeling anxious, so stop getting angry when i say i want to stay home or not be surrounded by people all the time!

is that a light at the far end of the tunnel or just the train?

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