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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » Periodic guilt

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Author Topic: Periodic guilt
Member # 110851

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My relationship is by all means healthy. My boyfriend is patient, takes any signs of not wanting to do anything and listens carefully and absolutely has my trust. When I get my period, I feel hugely guilty that we can't have intercourse, even though he's never disappointed by this and looks after me during the time of menstruation. I just feel like a lot of articles say ludicrous things like if you don't have sex at least a few times a week, your relationship is going to go downhill. Because of this, I try and do everything in my power to make sure sex is at least weekly (this isn't me just having sex out of internal pressure, I greatly enjoy it). Is there any reason I'm getting feelings of guilt when I can't have sex? I'm so conflicted about what is a "good" amount of sex for two partners who have orientations within they do feel sexual attraction. As for us two in particular, we have almost equal sexual drives, which helps with the healthiness of this relationship. Why has there ever been an "amount" of sex per week dictated to say that that's what makes a healthy couple? Is there any truth to it?
Posts: 16 | Registered: Jul 2014  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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The only amount of sex that is ideal for a healthy relationship is the amount that everyone in the relationship feels comfortable with.

People are so individual, and every relationship is different, too. So, there really is no way that anyone, let alone an article in a magazine, can know what is best for you and your partner. So, as long as you and your partner feel happy with the amount of sex you are having, then you are having the ideal amount of sex.

That said, there is no reason why you cannot have sex while you are menstruating. This is really a comfort thing - if you do not feel comfortable having sex while you are menstruating, that is one thing. But there is no health reason, or anything, that prevents sex during menstruation. So if you and your partner would like to have sex during your period, you totally can!

[ 07-19-2014, 09:25 AM: Message edited by: September ]

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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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