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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » Sexual Milestones

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Author Topic: Sexual Milestones
Scarleteen Volunteer
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bluejumprope listed some of her sexual milestones in this thread about virginity and I think milestones are a far more useful concept than virginity. What I want to know is what has felt like a milestone for you? What are the big moments thus far in your sexual history? I'm sure this will be different for everyone, so this should be an interesting thread.

[ 10-30-2008, 12:44 AM: Message edited by: -Jill ]

Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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I'm glad Jill made a new thread out of this because I also thought that bluejumprope's concept of milestones was really interesting and cool. Here are some of mine:

-The first orgasm I gave myself
-Picking out condoms with a partner
-Putting my foot down and insisting that my partner and I go get tested for STI'S/HIV before any more sexual contact happened (after they had refused).
-Scheduling my own appointments for pap smears and sticking to the yearly schedule.
-Talking to my mom about a pregnancy scare.
-Breaking up with a partner after realizing they didn't have respect for my sexual boundaries.
-Budgeting my money so I could afford my birth control pills.
-Saying "no" to a sexual encounter that would have mattered a lot more to the other person, and that I knew would hurt them emotionally.
-Breaking up with another abusive partner.
-Realizing that I'm gay.
-Living with a partner.
-Breaking up with a partner, but actually being really good friends afterwards and realizing that a friendship was a much better choice.

"It's better to die on your feet than live down on your knees"

Posts: 117 | From: SLC, UT | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
paper towel
Member # 39124

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My last boyfriend didn't really feel like we had ever had intercourse until the first time I really got into it...

And then the first time I had ever had an orgasm with someone else sticks out to me.

Edit: Oh, and buying a home pregnancy test from dollar tree. And going to Planned Parenthood together.

[ 11-02-2008, 08:48 PM: Message edited by: paper towel ]

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For me,

-my first orgasm on my own was a big experience

-my first orgasm with someone else - I felt that as being extremely important, orgasm felt so vulnerable and like the realisation of sexual pleasure. I always am actually hiding that from people - to do it with someone was a physical letting-go of my emotional guardedness and self-protection. It also recognised how much i trusted them and felt accepted by them.

-kissing someone

-kissing a boy

-sharing a bed

-putting on a condom - that was on my own and felt very grown up.

-sexually pleasuring myself anally - this was a very scary and loaded thing in my mind, but afterwards I just felt happy and peaceful.

-becoming "ok" with the homosexual aspects of my sexuality and deciding against calling myself straight.

Interestingly in regards to the milestones being an alternative way of looking at things to "virginity" - the first time I engaged in penetrative sex was not in any way an emotional or definitive experience... it wasn't the most intimate part of the experience, it was actually uncomfortable but not really upsetting, it didn't really even register and I didn't really think about it until someone I told pointed out it's cultural weight.

[ 11-02-2008, 10:31 PM: Message edited by: PenguinBoy ]

Jacob - my Scarleteen Blog - Please help sustain scarleteen

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To me, the most powerful milestone in my relationship was when my fiance and I were sleeping over at a friends house and ended up curled up next to each other in separate sleeping bags. I had never even imagined sleeping next to a boy before! I had a really bad cold and couldn't stop snoring, but he still held me close all night and brought me tissues. Although this isn't traditionally thought of as a sexual moment, it was really intimate and it let me know that I could trust him and that he would always be there for me.
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This looks like fun, so I'm gonna join! [Smile]

Some of the big moments of my sexual history:
- my first kiss with a girl
- first time holding hands in public with a girl
- sharing a bed with someone and waking up next to them
- getting a prescription for bc, buying condoms for the first time
- first orgasm from masturbation
- first time hooking up with a stranger
- first time being the 'giver' in oral sex (I'm a survivor, and male genitalia scares the bejeezus out of me, but thanks to my awesome partner, I'm beginning to mellow out)

Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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Taking charge of my sexual health and going to the OB-GYN for the first time

Deciding when I was ready for intercourse - I wasn't pressured by my boyfriend to have intercourse.

Buying condoms for our relationships

Crying after an amazing night - and seeing the concern in my boyfriend's face! He thought it was a bad thing! They were tears of joy! haha

Being on top and having control - turned out it isn't such a bad thing after all. ; )

But overall, the most important sexual milestone is when I decided that I was ready. I was fully satisfied, and still am.

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What a fun thread! My milestones:

-first orgasm from masturbation
-deciding when I was ready for sexnot that my boyfriend ever pressured me, but there were a couple of times that he asked if Id want to have sex, and I was comfortable enough to say no.
-shopping for condoms, lingerie, lube, etc. with my boyfriend and being comfortable enough with each other to do so
-talking about a pregnancy scare (albeit an unfounded scare) with my boyfriend and struggling with all the emotions that came along with it.
-the first time I shared a bed with a guy.
-the first time my boyfriend and I woke up naked next to each other.
-the first time we really experimented during sex (i.e. trying it in different parts of the house).
-being comfortable talking openly about sex and sharing fantasies with another person.

Interesting how most of my milestones come from moments in my relationship with my boyfriend. He was also the first person I had sex with, which is probably why. But virginity was never that important of a concept to was more about sharing intimate moments with my boyfriend, both of us deciding for ourselves when we were ready for sex and other things, and becoming more and more comfortable with sex and talking about sex as time went on.

Really awesome thread! It was fun to reflect on this stuff.

"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing" -Helen Keller

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Whenever I start getting romantic with anyone, I'd say that the first time we let each other know we find each other attractive is a milestone of it's own. Even if I've done it with someone else.

[ 11-08-2008, 01:53 PM: Message edited by: PenguinBoy ]

Jacob - my Scarleteen Blog - Please help sustain scarleteen

Posts: 633 | From: Bedfordshire, UK | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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