Self-love. Solo sex. Jacking off, jilling off, whacking off. Paddling the pink canoe, pocket pinball, teasing the kitty, testing the plumbing, spanking the monkey, surfing the channel. No matter what you call it—or how goofy what you call it is—masturbation is one of the few things that almost everyone does, has done or will do. Here's some most basic things to know about it.