no

Scarleteen Mix #6: Consenting and Other Sexual Communication

Real-deal consent requires clear, open and honest communication. And if we're going ahead and actually being sexual together in some way,  that also means an ongoing, nuanced and pretty highly situational process of communication, not just one or two super-quick, super-basic exchanges.

Not only is communication as a process essential to keeping it consensual, it's a big part of sex actually being any good for everyone involved.

No. More.

What should you do when someone says no to or otherwise refuses or declines your romantic or sexual gestures or asks Accept it and stop making those gestures or asks. That's the right answer every single time: just accept someone's no and then back right off.

Asking or otherwise pressing over and over isn't the right answer. "Not giving up" (which often looks a whole lot like harassment) isn't the right answer.  Trying to get them to change their mind isn't the right answer.  Trying to get them to change their mind through their friends or family also isn't the right answer. And while it should be obvious, we so sadly know that it isn't: no kind of violence is ever the right answer.

What’s In A No?

What's so scary about asking when someone else may say no? Rejection. Read on to dial down the fear factor and learn to accept no like a pro.

Don't Want to Have Sex?

Then don't! Here's a feast of support and help for those who want to say no, not now, or not-like-this to sex or sexual relationships.

I want to have sex. He doesn't. Why not? And what do I do now?

beccaboo71
asks:
I've been dating my current boyfriend for 5 months now, and I really am ready and willing to have sex. But, he's not. He wants to, and he's curious but he feels that he shouldn't? I don't know what to do, I don't understand why he's feeling this way about it. Is there something wrong with me? Something he's afraid to say? Or is he just really scared himself? Help!...

How can I keep from getting upset when he ignores my no?

Elizabeth1
asks:
I'm 15 and my bf told me about a week ago that he thought I should be loosing my virginity and a few days ago I did. I was ok with this and only said once that if it was ok with him I'd like to stop (the way he was looking at me was creeping me out), but it wasn't ok with him so he kept going....

I'm into my friend and want to fool around with her, but will she do it?

Samuel F.
asks:
I'm 15, and I have a close female friend of the same age with D-cup bra size and very good looks all-around. She hasn't shown much visible interest in sexuality, but we haven't talked very much about it at all. I've been wanting to see if she'd want to fool around. Is that really way too much for friendship or could I somehow get her to do it willingly?...