If you worry about your sexual life, what one thing worries you the very most?

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I'm afraid of being seen as "dirty" by doctors, of all people. I'm already terrified that I'll be rejected from blood donation if anyone ever figures out that I'm FtM and I've had sex with my cis male partner because we MUST have AIDS!!111 (it's the one case where I'm thankful for owning a vagina, I can use it as a loophole to avoid suspicion)...or that they'll think I must have every STD in the book because I'm polyamorous. We're clean, dammit! We go to great measures to ensure this!

One way to help destigmatize all of this we often suggest is for people to ditch the term "clean," to mean free of infection or illness. After all, without "clean," "dirty" can't be the other side of that binary! :)

We like negative (negative on tests), well, STI-free, or clear as alternatives.

Editor & Founder, Scarleteen: Sex Ed for the Real World
Author, S.E.X.: The All-You-Need-to-Know Progressive Sexuality Guide to Get You Through High School and Col

I'm one of those people who convinces themself that their pregnant despite using birth control. I grew up with a lot of religious fueled guilt around sex, and i guess i feel liike i don't deserve to enjoy sex. Also i never want kids. I don't think I'd be a good parent and I think of pregnancy as a punishment. It's my worst fear.

I'm worried I will regret my first time. I'm worried I'll loose my virginity then regret who I "gave it to." I wouldn't every have a one night stand (not judging anybody who has; I just wouldn't be comfortable with that), but I'm worried that I will fall out of love with the person I first have sex with.

I lost my virginity when I was 14 to someone I didn't care about and who didn't care about me, I literally did it because I was high and it seemed like fun. I regretted it and thought it was going to ruin my life, honestly. I was disappointed in myself for a while but eventually I just accepted that it happened and learned from my mistake. Sure losing your virginity can be a big event if it's with someone you care about, but if it's with the wrong person, it's not the end of the world. If you trust the person, and you know that you're ready, you won't regret it.

After voting, I feel like I need to clarify- I don't ever worry that my partners will judge me. It's happened, but honestly, I got over that relatively quickly- boot judgemental partner! It's much harder to deal with friends judging me for my sex life decisions, like being poly, or just generally being pretty avid about sex. They do it so rarely, but they've made comments in the past 6 months or so that really lodged in my heart, and I didn't expect it to hurt that much.

I'm just scared to orgasm because I don't know what to expect.
I've been sexually active for over a year with more than one guy and I've masturbated too but I'm always too scared to finish it.

I suspect that I may be asexual, but were i to engage in the act of sex my biggest fear is being so completely exposed to another being. Being laid bare like that goes against my nature. Thats the only thing about sex that scares me. Youre really submitting yourself to that person body, heart and soul. I dont consider that some trivial thing.

I felt exactly the same thing, it's a state of complete and total vulnerability with another person which is extremely intimidating when its your first time. In my case, I asked my partner to go slow with me and he never did anything new with me without previously discussing it and making sure I was mentally prepared for it. It is scary, but having complete trust and faith in my partner helped me a lot. Once you cross that stage it all becomes really comfortable and you'll enjoy the feeling of intimacy :)

I lost my virginity at 10 consentually to an 11 yo boy. I am now 17 and I don't feel guilty. Should I?

...about something that they chose that didn't hurt someone else. Regret, maybe, if in retrospect you wish you had made a different choice, but never guilt.

I guess I'm most afraid of getting pregnant because I really don't want kids at least right now and I'm afraid STIS.

Mostly I worry about getting a disease or getting pregnant. Most times I think that it would be worth never having sex again than ending up in either of those situations. But I also worry that I'll never feel sexual desire for someone, have them want me back, and enjoy the sexual activities we do together. I've had intercourse a few times and hated it, and almost any other activity - from kissing to manual / oral sex - has been "blah" at most. I get the most satisfaction out of knowing I've made my partner happy, but it's hard to imagine that I'll ever feel that kind of pleasure myself.

That's pretty much why I've decided to put everything but kissing off the table for the last year or so.

I think what I am super scared about it being pregnant!!! Like my mom had me when she was 16 and I don't want to go through that...I am suppose to change that chain. But I also want to be able to have sex without worrying about THAT!!

How do i know if i masturbate too much, and is it possible to "over masturbate"?
im 14 and masturbating is a normal, usually everyday, part of my life. i have a girlfriend that i often have sexual talks with (sexting) and im not sure if that has anything to do with it or if its just nature.

the reason that im worried is because i dont want to make my body.. well not normal... but at the same time i love to masturbate... is this wrong for me to do while in a relationship or just wrong to do altogether???

Nope, masturbation is not wrong, in or out of a relationship. Check out this article on that: Is Masturbation Okay? (Yep.)


I'm worried I won't ever be able to orgasm

I've been to a gynecologist for a check-up even though I've never had sex (or an orgasm, incidentally), and she said all my equipment's normal, but I've never been able to masturbate and I'm reallyreallyreally worried I just plain can't orgasm.
My ex-boyfriend proposed that I'm just "hot-blooded" and need to be interacting with a real person because I'm too aware that it's just me touching me. I hope he's right. It makes sense, so I bet that's all that your problem is too.
If you're engaging in sexual activities with someone else and still can't get off, you probably should go to a doctor - at the very least, them saying you're healthy and just too nervous/stressed/whatever to orgasm will ease your mind. If they say it's real problem, then you can get to work fixing it.
Hang in there, friend! :)

I've never had sex, and I usually think about it in a positive way. Whenever I have anxieties, it's usually because I know that my ideal partner is rare; someone who isn't sexist, racist, abelist, homophobic, biphobic, transophobic, aceophobic, arophobic, fatophobic, and who is sex postive, who is a feminist, who is respectful of boundaries, who is proactive about protection, and doesn't fetishize my identity as a bi/pan/queer woman is sadly rare (which is why I doubt I'll find a date in high school). But I also know that people like that definitely do exist, and that even though that list seems REALLY long when I write it out, I do deserve a partner like that.

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