Scarleteen

Im 17 and really sexually frustrated. Ive been masturbating around twice everyday and it feels like it isnt enough. Im reaching orgasm but it just doesnt feel as good as it used to. I feel like as im developing more i need more stimulation so i was going to order a basic vibrator online. However im worried that my parents may find out or see it in my room. They never check my room but im still nervous. However i have tried d.i.y toys like electric toothbrushes and nothing is strong enough. I think its time for me to make that jump as i use masturbation as a stress relief and my orgasms not feeling as good means it isnt working as well and i feel a lot of stress piling up. Im a too young for this? I just think its the only way for me to properly relieve stress as i have looked into it and ive tried basically everything and nothing else works.

Hi Catgirl1360,

You're not too young for a sex toy in the general sense, in that people in their teens often use them or become curious about them. The tricky part is that in many places, including the U.K, customers have to be over 18 in order for it to be legal for a store to sell them a sex toy. That's why many folks under 18 use D.I.Y options.

If you're curious about a more "official" sex toy, in some places you can still by the Magic Wand and other "personal massagers," since they're being sold as tools for massage instead of explicitly sex toys. So one option would be to check out stores in your area to see if they carry any. Too, if you do opt for a sex toy that can be immediately recognized as such, it's worth thinking about what the risks are if your parents do find out, and whether you're up for taking those risks.

I will say that if you masturbate often, some of what you're experiencing may be due to boredom or to the novelty wearing off a particular method, fantasy, or piece of media. When things become habits, they can sometimes lose the "spark" that made them so enjoyable at first. It may be that exploring different positions or fantasies introduces that novelty and excitement back into equation, and you'll notice you're feeling more intense pleasure.

I spoke to a friend about it who is over 18 and willing to purchase it for me. I dont think my parents would be angry it would just be embarrassing. Ive tried different positions and fantasies, ive even not masturbated for a few days or held back as long as i could when i began to feel aroused to build tension and feel more sensitive and desperate and it doesnt really make a difference accept making me more frustrated when im not fully satisfied. I also have a few hiding places sorted. Im just nervous as ive never owned anything like this before.

Got it. So, if a friend is willing to purchase you one, that's probably the simplest option for getting one. And it sounds like you have some hiding places picked out, which is a great step if you're worried about privacy. Can you say a little more about what you're nervous about?

Well its mainly because its such a large jump from just masturbating to buying an actual toy. It feels like it would be much easier to be found out. Im also slightly worried it or i might be loud when using it and be more likely to be caught by my parents. Im more nervous of the embarrassment of someone finding out as im normally very private about this part of my life accept with a few close friends.

This tends to be my main problem when it comes to masturbation as its something im shy about. I dont like people knowing what i do, when i do it and stuff like that so by having getting toys, the additional noise, from the vibrations or bed moving etc. Feels as though a layer of privacy and safety is being removed making it feel more risky. I dont mind it feeling risky at times, but the thought of getting caught feels more embarrassing if i get caught using a toy as i cant explain it away. I still think however i need to take the jump and get one as i feel i could truely benifit from having a toy i can rely on to help relieve stress instead of it being on just me. My hands get tired and i cant keep going, but with a toy i wouldnt have this problem. I just feel nervy about being caught using it. No matter how unlikely it is considering everyone always knocks.

Hey Catgirl,

The good news is that many sex stores have tester models, or the staff will be happy to open toys and let you feel the strength of the vibration on your hand and hear how loud the toy is. You could let your friend know that you want something strong and quiet, and they can be on the lookout for toys that fit the bill. There are also plenty of reviews online that you can read for specific products. Your local brick-and-mortar sex store may also have an online store where you can check out what they have in stock.

If you're worried about someone barging in on you while you're using the toy, it might be a good idea to get a waterproof toy that you can use in the shower. Fortunately, sex toys have come a long way in the past few years, and there are plenty of products that are strong, quiet, and waterproof.

How does all this sound?

That sounds good. Using it in the shower sounds like the safest and most private option. I'll let my friend know what im looking for and hopefully she can find one that fits the criteria. Thank you!