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unsure if I should get out of my current relationship

Posted: Mon Oct 02, 2023 7:41 am
by CrazyDiamond156
hi, this is my first topic here and I have a question.
I’ve been in a relationship (LDR/online) with a guy of my age for a month and I don’t feel comfortable anymore at having an online relationship. I’m not even sure if I actually like him or not since I’ve never met him in person.
I like another guy since a year, but he’s in a relationship with a girl (probably a monogamous one, and I’m unsure if he’s actually queer*).
I feel like my relationship is so sad and that I like that other guy more then my boyfriend.
The guy said he was polyam as a joke (or not, I’m unsure).

*before I hinted that I’m bi, he thought I just liked girls, and when I was ticking him and I was above him, he said: “I even cannot make jokes about this because you’re not into me” I was.

Re: unsure if I should get out of my current relationship

Posted: Mon Oct 02, 2023 7:47 am
by Sam W
Hi CrazyDiamond156,

When we're not feeling into or excited about a relationship and it's only been a month, that in and of itself is big indicator that that isn't the relationship for us and it would be a good idea to end it, regardless of the crush you have on someone else. If you're not feeling interest in the relationship, and you're not sure you even like the person, then there's not much point of continuing to be in that relationship, you know?

Re: unsure if I should get out of my current relationship

Posted: Mon Oct 02, 2023 7:50 am
by CrazyDiamond156
how do I break up? I’m scared of being alone

Re: unsure if I should get out of my current relationship

Posted: Mon Oct 02, 2023 8:07 am
by Sam W
This is a really good guide to how to go through a break-up, even if you're the one doing the breaking up: Getting Through a Breakup Without Actually Breaking.

With that fear of being alone, can you give me a sense of why you feel like ending this relationship would result in your being alone? Do you have a lot of other social connections in your life?

Re: unsure if I should get out of my current relationship

Posted: Mon Oct 02, 2023 8:45 am
by CrazyDiamond156
I broke up with him, I went smoothly, thank you

Re: unsure if I should get out of my current relationship

Posted: Mon Oct 02, 2023 8:48 am
by Sam W
You're very welcome, and I'm glad it went okay! Is there anything else we can offer you support around right now?

Re: unsure if I should get out of my current relationship

Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2023 2:50 am
by CrazyDiamond156
for now I'm fine, thank you