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Felt attracted to someone in a dream, does this count or am I still asexual?

Posted: Fri Jul 14, 2023 12:21 am
by cherryrain
See title.

Context about me: 19, F, never been attracted to anyone (male or female) ever, never had crushes, etc. Not even to fictional characters. The closest I can muster is aesthetic appreciation towards femininity and pretty women because I've never been particularly feminine myself, and I appreciate the work that goes into it; makeup and fashion are artforms, etc.

But recently, I had a dream where the details are hazy now, but I distinctly remember at some point meeting a guy and feeling an instantaneous attraction to him. Don't know whether it was sexual or romantic or both. Can't remember if anything came of that in the dream. Can't remember what he looked like at all, just that he did not resemble anyone I knew in real life, even a celebrity, because if he did then I think that would've left more of an impression on my memory.

Does this dream count towards anything? Does this mean it's possible for me to be attracted to someone in real life, despite this never happening so far?

I think I've been relatively ambivalent about the idea that I might be asexual for years now, it doesn't particularly bother me. However, I am a little excited by the possibility that I will have another avenue of experience (sexual/romantic/both attraction) open to me that previously wasn't.

Re: Felt attracted to someone in a dream, does this count or am I still asexual?

Posted: Fri Jul 14, 2023 7:03 am
by Sam W
Hi cherryrain,

Given the fact that our dreams mainly seem to be about our brains sorting through all the inputs they've gotten during the day and kind of mashing them together in the process, I tend to caution people against reading to much into them. In your case, I don't think that dream automatically means you're not asexual, or that you'll one day be attracted to someone in a way you haven't been before.

That being said, I think this has highlighted something important about your sexuality for you! It's clued you into the fact that if you were to feel attraction for someone down the line, that wouldn't instantly lead to you feeling stressed or sad about what it meant for you identity. Instead, it sounds like you might see it as an exciting, new thing to experience. And that's a really helpful insight to have in your pocket for the future.