So I'm currently in Germany where the pandemic didn't hit so hard compared to other countries. There are a lot of environmental protests now and in the upcoming two months, and while they are very important to me, I am pretty afraid to engage in them - due to The Covid mainly. Those protests involve body contact and masses of people and are nessecary to protect forest from being destroyed. I feel guilty for not wanting to engage in them because I fear getting infected so much, at the same time protests can't wait and it's getting even worser with climate change. I don't really know what to do, I know that I only have the options to stay home due to privilege - on the one hand, staying home is crucial to prevent my virus anxiety, on the other hand it prevents me from fighting for change, since I am kinda having a long distance relationship with my political community
I am supporting them online, doing writing and stuff but it's not my favorite thing to do, I miss organizing in a group and I can't concentrate well, so I mainly feel like I'm failing anyway. I'm also with immuncompromised flat mates which have to work, so there's a risk of getting the virus anyway. I feel like avoiding political stuff for my own and their health is "an excuse". Additionally, all my friends kinda don't care about the virus or have to work and I feel heavily uncomfortable to meet them in person, on the other hand I really miss hanging out.
So at the moment I am kinda split between feeling like I am betraying my own political ideas and taking risks for change.