Hey there, Korey. I hope your talk went well.
I'm happy to talk to you about how it was for me, but it'd probably be helpful if I clear up some assumptions first that might be confusing things a bit! For one, my friends were people of all genders, and the same was also true of my sexual partners. I can't see my father telling me not to have people of any gender not in my room, period, that's just not who he is, nor would he have assumed that if I had guys in my room, those guys were ever going to be anything more than just my friends. He wouldn't have assumed that because he knew some of my guy-platonic friends well, but he also wouldn't have assumed that as someone who himself had friends of all genders, you know? But it also would have been extra ridiculous to have those kinds of rules for me as a queer kid: it would have meant I wouldn't have been allowed to be alone with anyone, of any gender, ever! Yipes.
My parents, who split up when I was really young, were really different people. This never would have been how it was with my mom. On the other hand, my Dad -- who I moved in with right before I turned 16 -- was just very relaxed about sex and sexuality, so yeah, we talked about it, and his view was what sounds a lot like the Dad of your boyfriend: he'd rather I was at home, safe, than outside, or sneaking around, or at someone's house whose parents might be awful to us. We also had a pretty big agreement about this: I was very much expected to be responsible when it came to my own sexual health, a good person with my partners, etc. It's likely also worth mentioning that I was someone who had been through a lot of trauma and had survived suicide attempts, to boot: I can't think of anything positive my father would have gotten in the way of when it came to me if that thing was something that would bring me joy and not do anyone harm. That's the stuff that keeps you wanting to live, after all, you know?
Did we sometimes say hi and just walk to the bedroom? Not usually, because that's kind of rude IMO when someone else is home and you're a guest and bringing a guest. If my Dad was home and I brought someone home, be it a friend or a partner, we'd usually hang out with my Dad first, maybe have dinner if it was dinnertime, whatever, before/if we went off alone. If we were sexual, were we quiet? We tried to be, because again, manners. And also: comfort, because yeah, it would have felt weird otherwise. But sometimes I wasn't comfortable, so would either wait until my Dad went to sleep (it was okay for me to have people sleep over), or out, or would have people over when he wasn't home, instead. For sure, I'd say it felt much more ideal when he wasn't there and was what I preferred, and sometimes what people I was with did too. Other times, people didn't care.
I can hear how this situation and even having an adult know you and know that you're their kid's sexual partner might make you uncomfortable. Not being raised with even talk about it inserts a lot of shame into a person's sense of sexuality, and certainly can make you feel like -- separate from the privacy you want, which may or may not be related to this -- something that should be hidden or kept secret. You might worry about being thought less of, disrespected, sexually objectified, or other things that can come from having felt like sex was stigmatized and them BAM! -- finding yourself in this kind of situation, and without warning, no less. I'm not surprised it felt like a shock (and also not surprised your boyfriend didn't say anything ahead of time, since it sounds like this has been his normal, so he might have been equally unprepared for yours). I'm sorry that you felt and may still feel so uncomfortable. That really stinks.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead