I’m sorry to hear about your breakup. Breakups are often difficult/painful, and while there may be things that make us feel better or help to support us during a breakup, there isn’t a “cure” to feeling sad (except maybe time). Instead, it may help to process the breakup by recognizing and “being with” your feelings (as long as they feel safe).
This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t seek support or comfort in friends, music, etc. Have you found anything that helps you feel comfort or joy?
It sounds like you did a good job clarifying your comfort level with drug use and reassuring him you do not want “better”. But I agree, it is not kind or genuine to break up with someone by essentially saying “you should want to break up with me so I’ll break up with you instead”. While the truth is we don’t need a “good reason” to break up with people if it doesn’t feel right to us anymore, I can see how the reason he gave to end your relationship can lead to feelings of confusion and lack of closure. Recognizing that it may not be possible to get closure from him directly, are there other things you can do for yourself that would help you feel closure, such as journaling or talking to someone you trust?
This article gives more details on the process of getting through a breakup, and gives some tips about “getting through a breakup without breaking” at the end: https://www.scarleteen.com/article/etc/ ... y_breaking
Some of my favorites from this list are expressing yourself and feelings through a creative outlet, reclaiming things that bring you joy but you had less time to pursue during your relationship, and remembering that breakups often have less to do with you and that breaking up does not equal failure. Feel free to look through and see if any feel right to you!