Safe DIY Lubricants

Questions and discussion about contraception, safer sex, STIs, sexual healthcare and other sexual health issues.
CatHaru26
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Safe DIY Lubricants

Unread postby CatHaru26 » Sun Sep 13, 2020 2:52 pm

Hi!
So I’ll keep this short. My boyfriend and I both have really bad anxiety about buying sexual products at the store (like, the only reason we have condoms is because they were given to him by his dad). But the first time we tried to have sex (using a lubricated condom, which we thought would be enough) it hurt before he could even get the tip in, so we stopped. Without a doubt, it was due to the lack of lube, even though I initially thought that the wetness from my vagina combined with the lube from the condom would be enough.

Just until we can get over our anxiety of buying things at the store, what other products are safe to use as lubricants with condoms? I read that 100% aloe vera is safe but I don’t know what sources are true anymore.

Thank you!

Mo
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Re: Safe DIY Lubricants

Unread postby Mo » Sun Sep 13, 2020 6:24 pm

Lubricated condoms only have enough lubricant on them to make them easier to apply; they definitely aren't lubricated enough to use on their own without additional lube, as you discovered. Honestly, I wish they were labeled more clearly or were called something other than "lubricated" because this is a very common source of confusion for a lot of people.
There isn't a non-lube substance I can recommend that is going to be both helpful as a lubricant and safe to use (both for your body and for condoms). Pure aloe vera that you can buy doesn't tend to be very slippery at all; it's very thin and watery and while it's slippery than water itself, I wouldn't recommend it as a lubricant on its own. It wouldn't hurt but I don't think it would be very effective. There are some aloe vera gels but many of them contain other ingredients to thicken the product and I wouldn't recommend one not knowing what's in it.

I get that buying lube feels like something you can't do right now, but I do think that's going to be the best option for you. Do you want to talk at all about the anxiety you're feeling, or about other ways to get lubricant, such as ordering online?

CatHaru26
not a newbie
Posts: 22
Joined: Fri Jul 10, 2020 8:00 am
My pronouns: she/her
Location: United States

Re: Safe DIY Lubricants

Unread postby CatHaru26 » Sun Sep 13, 2020 7:36 pm

When it comes to buying an actual lube, I wouldn’t even know where to start. I’d order it offline but I live with my parents and they just love to open packages without checking who they’re addressed to. I also don’t know which one to get. I tried doing some research and I figured I’d probably like a water-based lube. But as far as which specific one to buy I wouldn’t even know. I’d also not like to spend a fortune on it.

Mo
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 1860
Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2014 2:57 pm
My Awesomeness Quotient: I'm always wearing seriously fancy nail polish.
My primary language: English
My pronouns: he/him, they/them
My sexual identity and orientation: queer/bisexual

Re: Safe DIY Lubricants

Unread postby Mo » Sun Sep 13, 2020 8:14 pm

We actually have a partnership with a company that sells condoms and lube; one of the things they offer is a sampler pack of different lube options! That might be worth looking at if you want an idea of what different brands feel like. Here is the page on our site where you can order the lube samples, and there's a link at the bottom of the page to their main website if you'd like to look at full-sized options too.
I get that it can be tough to order packages when you're living with parents who open things; could you maybe ask if they could start being more careful about that in general? It's a very reasonable request to make, and there are a lot of reasons people could want privacy around their purchases that aren't related to lube or other sexual items. In general, stores that sell sexual items online are very good about sending things in nondescript packaging and the official business name on the return label won't be a tipoff either. I know it's not foolproof, but I think ordering online will be the best way to get lube if going in a store to buy it feels like too much right now.


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