First of all I'm sorry about your breakup, and about your problems on social media. I hope you're okay. I don't want to stress you further, but here's Instagram's page about what to do if someone shares intimate photos of you - just in case. https://help.instagram.com/176941001000 ... ef=related
Your post really hits home for me, because I struggle with the same thoughts myself sometimes. As much as I try to be fair about my body and kind to myself, I worry about how other people will perceive me. Thinking about how to combat these thoughts in regards to sex is even tougher because it's so intimate, and the thought of suffering rejection in such a vulnerable state sucks! And I'm a pretty big girl, probably bigger than Lizzo.
So the first thing that came to mind about combatting these thoughts is the following:
I have a friends, let's call her Tracy, who is the type of person who constantly says negative things about her looks (despite the fact that she puts a lot of effort into her appearance through fashion and skin care). Sometimes she'll say things like, "I'm so ugly!" or "I look fat!" I'm a very blunt person and very body positive, so when she does that I always say: "Tracy, you look like you. I can't join you in your negative self-talk, because I actually like you."
I always say it with a kind of softly chastizing but friendly tone. The idea of it is to build off of the idea that you wouldn't say the type of negative things you say about yourself to your best friend, or someone else you love. I don't even engage with negative self-talk of that kind by saying, "No, you're beautiful!" or "No, you look good!" because I don't think you should have to constantly view yourself as beautiful or perfect to feel good about yourself. We are human, not just pretty things to look at.
I also want to say that 1) being fat is not a bad thing and 2) rejection is hard, but if someone makes you feel bad about your body, that's a red flag and you should take that as an excuse to move on to someone better. Not to lecture you
Long read if you want below.https://highline.huffingtonpost.com/art ... -is-wrong/
The 2 main pieces of advice I give to people about fat-related insecurities are the same things I had to do when my insecurities were at their worst:
- If the media you consume is making you think negatively about your body, or even makes you more judgmental towards others, limit it or cut it out of your life. Social media, magazines, reality TV - all of it.
- When you start to have negative thoughts about your body, you have to make the conscious effort to disagree with those thoughts. When you think, "I'm not deserving of love," address the negative thought - it's normal to have them - but also say, "That is not true. I am just as deserving of love as everyone else." I googled an article that talks about this process in more depth as well. http://www.valueoptions.com/solutions/2 ... story4.htm
Please take care of yourself. You are worth it.