how to get my dad to stop opening my mail?

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bikinksterboy
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how to get my dad to stop opening my mail?

Unread postby bikinksterboy » Mon Jun 29, 2020 6:38 pm

I'm a legal adult, but I still live with my parents. On occasion, I've ordered "adult" items online and had them shipped to my home. This usually isn't an issue as most of my online orders tend to be more tame, but one time recently, I ordered a sex toy and my dad apparently opened the package before handing me the contents of it. For the record, he had 0 reaction one way or the other to the items themselves, but it's still embarrassing and an invasion of my privacy. Hopefully a simple conversation will be enough to fix this. I think I may have already talked to him about it? I'm honestly not sure. It was only the one time that he opened NSFW mail, but he hasn't stopped opening my packages regardless, so it's bound to happen again. Overall my dad is respectful of my boundaries and privacy, and his memory is being impacted as he gets older (my parents are both senior citizens by now, but not elderly yet), so it's entirely possible that he just doesn't think to check in with me beforehand. I really doubt this will be that complicated of a problem to solve, but I figured I'd post here just in case to get other people's thoughts.
“I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil.”


― Gandalf, The Return of the King

Sam W
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Re: how to get my dad to stop opening my mail?

Unread postby Sam W » Tue Jun 30, 2020 6:47 am

Hi bikinksterboy,

This does sound like something a conversation would hopefully solve. Do you happen to have any idea why he's doing this?

bikinksterboy
not a newbie
Posts: 233
Joined: Thu Aug 25, 2016 6:32 pm
My Awesomeness Quotient: my willingness to try essentially anything
My primary language: English
My pronouns: he/him
My sexual identity and orientation: bisexual
Location: New York

Re: how to get my dad to stop opening my mail?

Unread postby bikinksterboy » Tue Jun 30, 2020 6:53 am

I think it may be just force of habit. He opens all the mail that comes through and maybe he's just not making a distinction. I really don't think there's any malice involved.
“I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil.”


― Gandalf, The Return of the King

Sam W
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 6532
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
My Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
My primary language: english
My pronouns: she/her
My sexual identity and orientation: queer
Location: Desert

Re: how to get my dad to stop opening my mail?

Unread postby Sam W » Tue Jun 30, 2020 7:20 am

Okay, in that case maybe just asking, "hey, from now on, can you leave any packages/mail for me on my bed" is a simple starting place.

noaccount
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Re: how to get my dad to stop opening my mail?

Unread postby noaccount » Tue Jun 30, 2020 1:28 pm

Could you mail yourself a large-print copy of Federal Laws 18 U.S. Code 1702 "Obstruction Of Correspondence" and 18 U.S. Code 1708 "Theft or Receipt of Mail Matter Generally" under which it's a federal crime to open another person's mail, or laminate such a large-print copy and tape them up by where mail is left?
"How did I escape? With difficulty. How did I plan this moment? With pleasure." - The Absconding Archives

bikinksterboy
not a newbie
Posts: 233
Joined: Thu Aug 25, 2016 6:32 pm
My Awesomeness Quotient: my willingness to try essentially anything
My primary language: English
My pronouns: he/him
My sexual identity and orientation: bisexual
Location: New York

Re: how to get my dad to stop opening my mail?

Unread postby bikinksterboy » Sun Jul 12, 2020 5:11 am

I brought it up to my dad and he seemed receptive. Here's hoping it all works out!
“I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil.”


― Gandalf, The Return of the King

Alexa
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Re: how to get my dad to stop opening my mail?

Unread postby Alexa » Sun Jul 12, 2020 7:39 am

Great! Keep us posted if anything else comes up. <3
Alexa K.
Scarleteen Team

bikinksterboy
not a newbie
Posts: 233
Joined: Thu Aug 25, 2016 6:32 pm
My Awesomeness Quotient: my willingness to try essentially anything
My primary language: English
My pronouns: he/him
My sexual identity and orientation: bisexual
Location: New York

Re: how to get my dad to stop opening my mail?

Unread postby bikinksterboy » Sun Jul 26, 2020 1:41 pm

seems like it worked!
“I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil.”


― Gandalf, The Return of the King

Sam W
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 6532
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
My Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
My primary language: english
My pronouns: she/her
My sexual identity and orientation: queer
Location: Desert

Re: how to get my dad to stop opening my mail?

Unread postby Sam W » Mon Jul 27, 2020 7:37 am

Hooray!


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