I guess I have a new boyfriend already?!?!?

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I guess I have a new boyfriend already?!?!?

Unread postby Everglow » Fri Mar 20, 2020 9:02 pm

I broke up with my boyfriend last week. This virus thing made it easy for me because he lives several miles from here and now it's not that easy seeing him. I was tired of him anyway, I am not saying he is bad, but I was just tired of him.

I have been seeing this new boy, lives in the apartment complex across the street, goes to a charter school and this is good because I don't know much about him and we can talk about anything and everything.

We were in my bedroom today. Nothing happened, but it was something that was on my mind. Parents being gone and the house to myself makes everything really tough, I guess I am saying that the pressure of wanting to do it and the easiness of doing it makes it hard on not wanting to do it.

I feel like I am back at the beginning, the not sure what I want but knowing what I want and in the end doing what I want and loving it and after all of it I am tired of doing it.

Is it okay on having sex with another boy so fast? I want to do it, and I think it's going to happen, but I just lost my virginity last month. I thought I would stick with that other boy for a year or so, but here I am a month later seeing some other boy and thinking about doing it again.

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Re: I guess I have a new boyfriend already?!?!?

Unread postby 0PT1M15T1C » Fri Mar 20, 2020 11:31 pm

Hi, Everglow!

I'm glad to hear you made the decision that feels right for you, I've never found it to be a good idea to stay in a relationship you're tired of. Also, I'm glad you seem interested in this new boy, and that you sound so interested in that. I think that's pretty normal to feel like you're not sure, a lot of people, including myself for a while, thought that having sex a certain amount of times would make me "good at it" or let me know what I'm doing. Although I think it's a good idea to have sort of an idea of what you want, but not creating too many expectations that they won't be met, that can be a pretty big bummer. I read this a while back and I think it definitely gives a bit of an insight into that, because it kind of always will be a new first time when you're with a new partner - the main point is this "Often -- with sex or anything else -- the less we expect, the more we often receive." and I'm sure someone's already thrown this one out there in another thread, but just in case, it might be helpful to review https://www.scarleteen.com/article/rela ... _checklist

I think your question is one only you can really answer, no one can really tell you not to or to have sex. I would suggest asking yourself whether or not you feel okay having sex with someone new this soon. If you want to have sex, and think that it is a good idea and you're wanting it for mutual pleasure and feel prepared enough to have a conversation around it to ensure you are being safe, I don't really see an issue with that. Too, it might be helpful to go through this (I personally LOVE it) - https://www.scarleteen.com/article/advi ... _stocklist or https://www.scarleteen.com/article/rela ... een_zine_0

I really do hope you make safe decisions such as practising safe sex: https://www.scarleteen.com/article/bodi ... _sex_howto and having open and honest communication. Too, with this virus, a lot of people are cautioning against starting new intimate relationships, or at least in person ones, to help with the spread of the virus and staying safe. --Social distancing-- There's lots of ways to foster intimacy without the sex - https://www.scarleteen.com/article/disa ... s_intimacy Some of the ways I manage this is talking online, this can be sexual or not, but I find it's a good way to lead in and practice communication anyways, especially if it turns to "sexy time" as I call it. Video chats work, texting, there's options, mutual masturbation is another good one, by the way. Although, I do get it's annoying to have to hold off on physical intimacy, and for a lot of people that's failing pretty miserably, I mean I'm going to be honest, keeping a whole bunch of horny teenagers at home with that extra added level of boredom, there's a reason doctors and a lot of people are predicting there's going to be a baby boom time. In like 14 years we can call them the Quarenteens!!! Or I guess, that's us now.
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Re: I guess I have a new boyfriend already?!?!?

Unread postby Sam W » Sun Mar 22, 2020 8:40 am

Hi Everglow,

Optimistic15 offered some really good advice, but one thing I want to emphasize is: right now, the safest thing you can do is not have sex with someone you do not live with. The recommendations coming out of public health sectors are that sex with people you don't live with puts you and others at risk of transmitting or contracting Covid-19.

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