First off I want to preface this by saying that I hope everyone is safe and healthy. We’re living through very uncertain, scary times and with everyone having their own things to deal with in life, this is just an added stressor.
I’ve seen a lot of people post about COVID-19: how to avoid it, mostly, especially with limited interaction with people. I know this reduces the change of the virus spreading. I know I’m healthy but there are people I live with who are both elderly and immune compromised and I would not want anything happening to them. I know this will likely be temporary and my life will get back to somewhat of a norm without a pandemic hovering over my head.
However I noticed that I’m becoming lonely. Extremely lonely. I graduate this semester and have made friends since I first started school. I had all these social events planned. I wanted to decorate my cap and gown and even thought about taking photoshoots for my friends who are seniors. But now that this virus is spreading so fast I can’t do any of that. I don’t even know if I’ll be able to walk during graduation. I know that’s not a huge issue but it makes me ridiculously sad for some reason to think that I won’t walk this year for graduation
I’m starting to feel depressed again. Ironically the thing that worsened my depression when I first experienced it in high school was social isolation, but now that’s pretty much mandatory so there’s not much I can do about it. I miss my friends so much. I miss having things to do. Even when school starts back up it will be online and that’s not the same as face to face contact. I don’t even know if I can continue working (I work on campus).
It’s like I have nothing to do. No one to see. All I do is apply for jobs, sleep in, do housework, etc. I’ve been on social media but I’m cutting that down since the panicking is just making me feel worse. I know it won’t be like this forever but right now I feel like I have no meaning, no purpose in what I do everyday. There’s only so many hours I can spend in doors without feeling stir crazy.
I don’t know what to do. I know I could talk with friends over text or phone but it doesn’t feel the same. And most people I know are panicking like me so that would just make us both feel worse. I doubt I could see a therapist since I can’t really go anywhere in person, and we have so few therapists in town I don’t think any of them work over the net (not to mention I don’t know which ones are covered under my insurance). I just feel so stuck at the moment.
(And if you read through the whole thing thanks