[I'm so sorry if this seems all over the place but I wrote it as I thought it and I hope it all makes sense]
Thank you all for giving me such good advice. I've been doing some thinking and have realised a few things, but still have no idea about others. I've realised my feelings for my boyfriend are dwindling slightly but I don't want them to at all. I don't know why they are considering everything is going good and he is almost perfect, but it seems as if something might be missing, or, more likely, there is something wrong with me. I know that's not a good phrase, but really there is no reason for me to suddenly stop liking him and this has been a pattern for me in the past. It's almost like I get 'bored' of them (no one else was ever this serious, considering this is my first real relationship) and they aren't attractive to me anymore like they're missing something vital. I don't even know what it is. Sometimes I wonder if I could ever stay attracted to a real person.
I have also realised again that I think my obsession with these fictional crushes is unhealthy. I know they're a coping mechanism, but I don't know why they're still here or why I can't let go of them, like horriblegoose suggested. I often go for a period of a couple months at a time (between 2 to around maybe 7 or 8) being detached from these crushes and being 'normal' before relapsing back into complete obsession with them, one in particular. But I have recently realised just how unhealthy it can be for me after another night of crying at the fact that they aren't real, never will be, and I'm living part of my life based on them. What I mean by living my life based on them is that I use them as motivation to do things e.g. exercise because if you lived in [character]'s world, you would need to be fit, study because you would be studying a lot there, that sort of thing. And I often have a night when I become obsessed again where I just cry because they aren't real and to me it's pathetic to live as if there was a slither of a chance that they were. In these nights, I also feel really self conscious because I'm not fit enough or motivated enough and so on.
I don't even know where to start to handle this problem. I don't know if I'm even willing to let them go because it's so sweet in the moment of having these characters. But, I also don't know what I'm going to do with my boyfriend. I know communication is important, but this is something I know I am not ready to do and I know he wouldn't handle it well or understand, so I don't want to talk to him about it until I am more comfortable. At the moment, I plan to just see how things go with my feelings because I don't want to break up with him, considering he's pretty much the perfect boyfriend and I would kick myself later if I did, but I don't know how to handle my current feelings.
I'm sorry this is so long, but I really don't know where else to turn. I have suddenly gotten so much more involved than I had thought and I'm now so confused and I feel broken. Nothing seems to work and I just want to figure it out. Thank you all so much for trying to help me, I appreciate it so so much.