Advice on Cycle Changes

[Booksandoceans]

Hi Scarleteen! I was the one who posted a thread last month about some changes in my period. Right now, I am hoping if I can ask for advice because I am quite stuck and confused.

Two weeks ago, I had a week-long fertile cervical mucus (egg white cervical mucus) that was stretchy in my fingers. I had it for 7-8 days, but I also had brown discharge for 4 days during this period. I’ve been charting my cycles since May 2019, and every time I see this fertile mucus, I know my body is telling me it’s ovulating. Which is true enough, because I indeed always get a period two weeks later. Right now, I am expecting my period to come because it’s been two weeks since I last saw that fertile mucus. But it hasn’t arrived and I feel quite dry. ( It’s now Day 42, and I haven’t had a cycle this long since high school (I’m a college sophomore now). My cycles are always 30-39 days, and extremely regular like clockwork.

I mentioned in an old thread that my past 3 periods have been lighter than usual, which is odd to me because I am a HEAVY bleeder. But they arrived and ended when expected (based on cervical mucus) despite the reduced menstrual flow and changes in consistency.

I would just like to ask some advice on how I can move forward:
1. Would it be rational for me to take a pregnancy test just to rule out pregnancy and ease my mind? The last sexual contact I am concerned about occurred 4 months ago i.e. fingering with possible precum during my fertile days and dry humping with him wearing none while I was in cotton underwear the entire time (no ejaculation at all on me). I know Scarleteen says it’s practically nonexistent, but ever since this contact, my periods have become erratic and slightly unpredictable. My BF thinks I am just overthinking and my friend thinks it’s highly unlikely I am pregnant. But I am still afraid as I am aware that some women still bleed during pregnancy

2. Should I go to the doctor to check if anything is wrong if I don’t get my period this weekend? Or am I just overthinking things as this is something I should not worry about? My mom told me before to wait it out and let my body do its own thing, but I am worried about what-if’s.

3. Also, out of curiosity, is it possible to get fertile mucus and not ovulate? I traveled to and from Spain and was very very jetlagged during the week of fertile mucus, can travel affect the cycle?

I don’t know what to do next. I appreciate any advice on what I can do to help myself calm down and understand my body changes more. Thank you Scarleteen!

[Siân]

Hi Booksandoceans,

It's perfectly reasonable to take a pregnancy test if it will help you feel reassured, and to speak to a doctor if you are concerned - as we said in your last thread. You've not said anything that makes me think you NEED to do either of those things but you can if it helps you.

And yes, it is possible to get what appears to be fertile mucus and not quite ovulate as your body prepares for ovulation but it doesn't happen due to low estrogen.

It does sound like the most important things for you are learning to manage that anxiety which we've got loads of info on here: The Pregnancy Panic Companion

Also, since you've talked about charting, this article has more info on all the things to look out for to do it well: Get With the Flow: All About FAM, and this has more on charting and ovulation.

[Booksandoceans]

Thank you! I might do just that. I haven’t gotten my period this weekend despite the usual discharge that normally tells me I’m ovulating. I’ve been very stressed about it just by waiting. Can a luteal phase of a cycle take longer due to stress/anxiety, or is it always constant? Is it also possible for the body to try to ovulate but fail doing so?

Also, I am planning to tell my mom about my menstrual irregularities, but I am really afraid of what she’d think. I have not had sex in 6 or 7 months as I promised her, but I am super scared of her reaction because she might think I did. She often reacts in such a way as to trigger a lot of my anxiety. How can I overcome this feeling? I feel really lonely in this feeling and I am starting to feel bad about talking only to my BF about it. I’ve also tried opening up to my friends, but they seem to only dismiss my fears like it’s no big deal. I’m not sure if I am overreacting.

[Sam W]

Hi Booksandoceans,

Our cycles can be influenced by a number of things, and some cycle irregularity is pretty dang normal. It is also possible for your body to have a month where it doesn't ovulate, then ovulate like usual the next month. That being said, if you've been tracking your cycle and getting signs that you're ovulating, then it makes sense that you're not getting your period, since those are two different phases.

I'm sorry that your mom often reacts in ways that trigger your anxiety. Can you tell me more about what those reactions usually look like? Too, if you're wanting to talk to her about your cycle and the anxiety it's causing you, what if you took some of the resources we've given you, the ones that talk about how there are lots of reasons beyond pregnancy for a missed period or irregular cycle, into that conversation with you?