Hi there! I’m Heather’s SO. Yeah, I’m a big man. I’ve gotten bigger over the years, mostly related to issues of health and stress and just basic issues dealing with my mental health (using food as a coping mechanism, “thanks Mom. Yes, I would like another bowl of ice cream to make me ‘feel better.’”)
Looking back to my teen years, I wasn’t always big, but I always felt ‘fat’ and never good enough in the looks department mainly because I didn’t look like everyone else.
Now I’m at my biggest at 5’11” pushing 280lbs. But here’s the thing. I like being a “big man”. In fact, there’s a ‘club’ of big men. Did you know that? It’s kind of an unspoken club and some of us know we’re in it while some of us don’t. How do I know who else is in the 'big man club’? It’s usually a head nod and a “what’s up.” It’s amazing how empowering a little acknowledgment that this dude walking towards me is dealing with the same issues as I am. Yeah, shopping for clothes sucks and trying to squeeze my big self into a crowded train car is annoying. But, I also often get to sit with no one sitting next to me. Sure thing, I don’t mind if you stand so we don’t rub up against each other while we head downtown.
And, here’s the hard thing to really understand (It took me years, and, even then, it seems like all of media is aligned against me):
My size is my size. It’s who I am but it doesn’t define me. And anyone who has issues with my size or thinks I need to be skinnier or that I’m not healthy or sexy or just plain old not the Mr. Fantastic that I am does NOT deserve anything I have to offer.
Did you know that big men make better lovers? I wholeheartedly believe this. And it’s backed by science! https://www.rebelcircus.com/blog/men-wi ... nce-finds/
We’re more sensitive, more attentive and more appreciative than your average Holister-model Joe. And, believe me, there are plenty of women out there that don’t give a rats ass about your size and much more prefer your humor and your wit and your caring nature. Dude. You write poetry. POETRY. If that ain’t the language of love and wooing (I have a good friend that fell in love with her current husband because of the letters he wrote in the 90s during their long-distance romance), then I don’t know what is. So, yeah, big man, if you can write poetry, you’ll have all kinds of ways to show a woman why she’s worthy of you and your attentions.
I don’t know if any of that helps. I’d be happy to gab some more if you'd like. And if I ever saw you on the street, you’d most definitely get a head nod and a “what’s up” from me.