Scarleteen

Hi I'm wondering whether I have a problem or whether I'm just doing something wrong. Apologies for this being so long, I'm trying to summarise about 3 years in one post.

I started going through puberty at around 13/14 relatively late compared to my friends and by the time I was almost 16 I'd shown all the signs of it (armpit/genital hair, deeper voice, facial hair etc) I was still unable to ejaculate though, I thought maybe this will come later.

By the time I was 16 I noticed that if I masturbated I would produce a small head of pre-cum often a minute after and sometimes prior to masturbating. It was also around this time when I started having wet dreams, about once a week on average. These wet dreams though would never have white sperm in though I would often wake up as I'm having one and I could watch a clear gel like fluid be released from my penis.

Recently after turning 18 I had my first ever wet dream where my ejaculate was white-ish in colour. These wet dreams were still a weekly/biweekly occurrence at this point and after this I only ever had 1 other wet dream with white-ish ejaculate and since then never again.

Now I'm almost 19 and seem to have completed puberty (much larger penis than before, hairy chest etc), my wet dreams happen about once a month and are a clear fluid. I had previously given up on masturbating when I was around 17 as it wasn't working, I tried it again recently and still no results but I feel maybe I'm doing something wrong as every time I've ever masturbated I lose why erection while masturbating.

If I watch porn or something that makes me aroused I can hold an erection for about 10/15 minutes and will release quite a bit (5+ drips) of pre-cum. However as I start to masturbate within about a minute to 2 minutes I will lose my erection. Occasionally I will feel like I might be about to ejaculate and I'll keep masturbating but nothing will happen and I start to get tired or I will feel a light pressure in my penis as if something wants to be released, I will relax to let it be released and after about 5 seconds I start to urinate.

This has really put me off getting a girl friend as I'm too embarrassed about my penis not functioning as it should and as a result I've been really awkward when girls wanted to have sex with me so I am still a virgin.

Any help would be hugely appreciated, thanks!

This really sounds to me like something where it is probably best you talk with a healthcare provider first.

You could start with a general practitioner, but ideally, a urologist would be the best kind of doctor to see.

I say that both because some of what you're saying here is a bit of a mystery to me (like urinating instead of ejaculating), but also because even if nothing is wrong at all, I think you'd feel a lot more reassured, and perhaps more confident to pursue sexual relationships you want, having spoken with a healthcare provider.

If you want to talk about how to pursue those relationships in the meantime, we can certainly do that. This doesn't have to be something that keeps you from being sexual with others if you want to be.

Hi! I agree with what Heather has to say about getting professional help - and I also just want to remind you that you're not falling behind, and you don't need to beat yourself up for having trouble in this department. Like Heather said, you can still definitely pursue meaningful relationships with people, with or without sex.